Favorite/funny Quotes

Today an eccie gentlemen I have send text me and than texted me a quote.."protein does a body good no matter where it goes..personally I love the taste and love the way it feels as it slides down my throat" so I texted him back LOL should be my motto (due to my oral fetish) and he than informs me I made the statement on one of the threads...WOW...so I got to thinking since some people here have great memories..what are some of your favorite statements or quotes someone has posted...I think there will be some good and funny ones....
DallasRain's Avatar
1)I couldn't fix your brakes, so I made your horn louder!

2)Money talks ... but all mine ever says is goodbye!

3)I'm in shape ... round's a shape isn't it?

4)I'm not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you this?

5)Hard work never hurt anyone, but why take the chance.

6)I saw Elvis. He sat between me and Bigfoot on the UFO.

7)I still miss my ex. But my aim is getting better.

8)My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil .

10)When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

11)I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

12)I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

13)Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
Sweet N Little's Avatar
"If you had a dick I would suck it" .....................never forgot that one lol





Still Looking's Avatar
1)I couldn't fix your brakes, so I made your horn louder!

2)Money talks ... but all mine ever says is goodbye!

3)I'm in shape ... round's a shape isn't it?

4)I'm not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you this?

5)Hard work never hurt anyone, but why take the chance.

6)I saw Elvis. He sat between me and Bigfoot on the UFO.

7)I still miss my ex. But my aim is getting better.

8)My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil .

10)When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

11)I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

12)I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

13)Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. Originally Posted by DallasRain
I not a schizophrenic & neither am I! LOL

Never piss off an obsessive compulsive provider. Lock the door send you a hate PM, lock the door, send you a hate PM. Lock the door... you get the idea! LOL


I not a schizophrenic & neither am I! LOL

Never piss off an obsessive compulsive provider. Lock the door send you a hate PM, lock the door, send you a hate PM. Lock the door... you get the idea! LOL


Originally Posted by Still Looking
I tend to chuckle when I read SL's posts. I love them all!
SL, is our board mascot and we love him dearly.
he is going to start a boarding house for us traveling ladies... wink wink
Still Looking's Avatar
I tend to chuckle when I read SL's posts. I love them all! Originally Posted by AlluringExotic
Relationship Consultant.... Well cut my legs off and call me shorty! I love that! I can hear it already, "Well how do you feel about that?" "I feel good, how do you think I feel?" "Hey I'm asking the questions here!" "I feel ya!"

True story! While in a car dealership, a lady says, I have a coupon for a free tire rotation. All I said was, "I'd like to rotate your tires!" Everyone laughed and the pretty lady just looked at me in amazement! I said to her, "Now why is OK for a lady to say TIRE ROTATION but not a guy?" She couldn't find her coupon, but the dealership took care of the tire rotation and I paid for the oil and filter change. We had coffee while we both waited for our cars. LOL
Still Looking's Avatar
SL, is our board mascot and we love him dearly.
he is going to start a boarding house for us traveling ladies... wink wink Originally Posted by Anita Lay
Mascot.... Irish Vixen & SNL have me trained! I heel, sit, roll over on command! LOL

1. Things are getting worse! Please send chocolate!!

2. Treat me like an Angel and I'll be your little Devil

3. Never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics

4. Spooning leads to forking


5. The point of lip gloss is for someone else to take it off

6.I'd agree with you but then we would both be wrong

7. I'm sorry officer, I thought you wanted to race

8. You have 206 bones in your body, I would like to make it 207


9. I am the Sum of my Experiences


I B Hankering's Avatar
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Everywhere is within walking distance . . . if you've got the time.

Some people are like Slinkies -- not really good for anything, but you can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, yet check when you say the paint is wet?

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

You do not need a parachute to skydive; you only need a parachute to skydive twice.

Always borrow money from a pessimist -- he won't expect it back.

Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go.

I used to be indecisive; now I'm not sure.

I always take life with a grain of salt ... plus a slice of lemon ... and a shot of tequila.

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and then call whatever you hit the target.

Nostalgia ain't what it used to be.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

These are from Will Rogers:

A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.

Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states.
Pink Floyd's Avatar
"A man's got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another drink."-W.C. Fields
Still Looking's Avatar
1. Things are getting worse! Please send chocolate!!

2. Treat me like an Angel and I'll be your little Devil

3. Never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics

4. Spooning leads to forking

5. The point of lip gloss is for someone else to take it off

6.I'd agree with you but then we would both be wrong

7. I'm sorry officer, I thought you wanted to race

8. You have 206 bones in your body, I would like to make it 207


9. I am the Sum of my Experiences


Originally Posted by Lexy Laye
You forgot #10: Who put butter on my poll? LOL
Still Looking's Avatar
If you REALLY dislike someone, I mean flat out hate them, loan them some money! You'll never see them again! LOL
Pink Floyd's Avatar
It is always nice to say goodbye to you.
Still Looking's Avatar
When I saw you, I threw up a liitle bit. LOL