Dominate or sub?

So,
I was having a conversation with a female friend who enjoys having the"upper hand"during sex; unlike myself, who takes pride in taking my time and catering to my clients needs... Which she disagees (which is fine)

I figured I would get some male and female opinions about what they prefer and why?

I have a problem with being a sub or being in any situation where I am tied down and whipped.

My ancestors went through hundreds of years of that already. Reenacting scenes from Roots is not my forte

On the other hand, I like being a domme but some subs can be needy as hell.

I serious have to be in one my 'moods' to even get into it and when I do, I like to unleash hell on the ass that deserves it.

How bout that. Two threADs in one thread.

I have a problem with being a sub or being in any situation where I am tied down and whipped.

My ancestors went through hundreds of years of that already. Reenacting scenes from Roots is not my forte

On the other hand, I like being a domme but some subs can be needy as hell.

I serious have to be in one my 'moods' to even get into it and when I do, I like to unleash hell on the ass that deserves it. Originally Posted by Adrienne Baptiste

I am offended by your racist remarks which were totally unnecessary to your answer. I also find it interesting that your ancestors plight will not allow you to be tied down and whipped, but your empathy ends there and you can easily become the slave master!

The truth is being sub or domme has nothing to do with anyone's past, but one's desire to be in control or out of control. Often a result of the yen and yang of things - i.e. - if you are in control all the time in the RW then you fantasize about being out of control or surrendering that control to someone else. Which is why so often people in power places all day long tend toward submissiveness. And people that have no power in their real life or perceive they have no power crave control and domination.

Perhaps your ancestors were slaves, but at some point you personally have to get over that. After all 6,000,000 Jews's were killed in the holocaust, not enslaved but killed ... and I promise you not one Jewish prostitute will add to this thread I can't be a sub because the Germans killed my people.

I like to be a domme because in my real life I am in a position were I, although in a power position, feel like my job is to serve the needs of my people. So, in the bed room I like to be in total control. Also, don't confuse dominance and submissiveness with bondage and domination. B&D is where the whips and ties come in ... submissive can be a soft as you do what I tell you when I tell you - and is a far more mental of an exercise, where as B & D is physical action.

Just remember as long as you identify yourself as a former slave you are a slave.

Thank you! Great explaining and everything. I was simply asking to be in control or to be the one following instructions.

I have a problem with being a sub or being in any situation where I am tied down and whipped.

My ancestors went through hundreds of years of that already. Reenacting scenes from Roots is not my forte

On the other hand, I like being a domme but some subs can be needy as hell.

I serious have to be in one my 'moods' to even get into it and when I do, I like to unleash hell on the ass that deserves it. Originally Posted by Adrienne Baptiste

I never said anything about being tied up. And I definitely am not trying to get into the 900+ years of oppression. Just do you like to follow orders or call the shots basically. But I asked for opinions and appreciate your view girl!

Great question! The more I play, the deeper I question my likes and dislikes, as I would be inclined to believe we're always evolving in own sexuality. With so many woman our gentlemen can choose from, I feel empowered that they chose me. Then in a "switch", no Roots pun intended, I get a rush when he spanks me, chokes me lightly, talks really dirty to me. I reach an amazing climax that many could possibly perceive me as being more subservient opposed to dominant. With all that being said, I would have to say that the sexual chemistry between to people is definitely the final determination whether we consider ourselves dom or sub. That's what make the hobby what it is. People are constantly discovering new likes and dislikes with new experiences.

Great question! The more I play, the deeper I question my likes and dislikes, as I would be inclined to believe we're always evolving in own sexuality. With so many woman our gentlemen can choose from, I feel empowered that they chose me. Then in a "switch", no Roots pun intended, I get a rush when he spanks me, chokes me lightly, talks really dirty to me. I reach an amazing climax that many could possibly perceive me as being more subservient opposed to dominant. With all that being said, I would have to say that the sexual chemistry between to people is definitely the final determination whether we consider ourselves dom or sub. That's what make the hobby what it is. People are constantly discovering new likes and dislikes with new experiences. Originally Posted by Erika Sweet

You are absolutely amazing for this because I completely agree to the T!!! Thank you so much!

Thank luv Now it makes question the types of porn I like to watch???? Lol. I'm leaning more towards the sub side, and I would have to say maybe it's my Catholic school days. Discipline was priority!

DOMINANT: I want a submissive Asian contortionist spinner under 5' tall.


In the real world, I live in a controlled life style. I am retired on an adequate but modest income in a suburban area.. I have a visual disability and cannot drive so I depend on family for transportation. My loving family wants to take care of me so my time is pretty well controlled by women who want to tell me what to do because its good for me. They are well meant and mostly right

So when I hobby context, I want to be the dominant partner, calling the shots from an extensive menu and getting it done on my terms.
This rarely happens . . .for several reasons. Its getting hard for me to schedule a session with an Indy provider. Due to hobby budget constraints, I have patronized the lower-end of the donation spectrum. I have difficulties concealing communications too. For these reasons, I have, for the last several years, gone to walk-in AMPs along bus routs on the west side of town.

The AMPs provide a managed session; first the showwer, then a "massage" of some sort followwed by whatever the AMP girl will allow . . .often limited in scope and mechanical, with Kabuki like IOP.

I want the dominant role. My experience is often less than thjat.

I am offended by your racist remarks which were totally unnecessary to your answer. Originally Posted by 5T3V3

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

Do you need some Kleenex?

Personally, I'd love to find a fit and attractive domme just to experiment a bit. There are all kinds of gradations there, for all kinds of things. Taking control in the bedroom, restraints, spanking, all the way up to flogging, choking, and caning. I'm pretty sure I'd be more mild than wild, but there aren't many ladies playing in the area that I know of. (Please see the attractive and fit stipulation!)

It all depends. Sometimes I like Pizza from Dominoes and sometime a sub from subway.
Dominos has subs now but they are pretty limited. You can dress up a sub with all kinds of stuff sort of like a pizza but different. I do not care for meatball subs. If I want marinara sauce, I will order a pizza.

On subs, particularly Subway, why isnt the "footlong" actually 12 inches? Sounds like false advertising of a "sub"

I get it if you want to be funny. Humor us. Some things can be too revealing. So go ahead, be serious or facetious.

If you have it in you, show us your ideal representation of what you would submit yourself to. And/or what you would like to see in a heaping, quivering mess after you "Veni Vidi Vici."

Someone please help me with my visuals. I used to upload direct. But new phone, software . . . .

If I'm going to dominate, I want to conquer something like this: (For God's sake she calls herself white)

https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl...act=mrc&uact=8
http://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/2113495-workshop

If I'm going to submit, I want to surrender to something like this: (Religious undertones unintended but still work for me)

https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl...act=mrc&uact=8
https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl...act=mrc&uact=8
https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl...act=mrc&uact=8
https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl...act=mrc&uact=8
https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl...act=mrc&uact=8
https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl...act=mrc&uact=8
https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl...act=mrc&uact=8
https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl...act=mrc&uact=8
https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl...act=mrc&uact=8