NO means NO

Read a review and expect a NO to mean yes.... I'm sick of the men who don't take no as an adequate answer to wanting more than I want to give. Another "New" client who didn't take my NO as acceptable, who crossed the boundaries.....

Respect me, respect my body, and you'll get more as a regular than taking what YOU want and disrespecting me.... Another one bites the dust.....

Is it the business I'm in? Do I deserve to be disrespected? I get paid for massages ...nothing more....what happens beyond that is between TWO consenting adults.... Just my thoughts

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Doodle23's Avatar
You are being naive. I'm guessing you are very young ( call it a hunch ) . You have every right to do what you want with your body, nobody can argue with that. HOWEVER, this is a business. We as clients pay X amount of money to get Y service. If you want to discount services then I as a client expect to be given discount prices if activities are limited at the time of meeting and not expressed very clearly before hand. Iif you have a list of do's and don'ts you need to say this explicitly BEFORE the date. No beating around the bush, no maybe, just say in black and white terms what you are not okay with before meeting up. If the gent doesn't agree to the then move on, but if you pop this on him after he dropped cash on you then quite honestly I don't want to hear it.

You need to understand that as clients we can choose between many different women. No pussy is special and irreplaceable. In simpler terms, no man should be getting that upset when a specific lady doesn't offer certain activities, he will simply find a woman that will. The only time this becomes an issue is when the lady waits until play time to decide what is on the menu and what isn't.
`flip's Avatar
  • `flip
  • 02-05-2014, 04:25 PM
Is it the business I'm in? Do I deserve to be disrespected? I get paid for massages ...nothing more....what happens beyond that is between TWO consenting adults.... Just my thoughts �� Originally Posted by Michellemem

NO one deserves to be disrespected. The bigger question is, are you bringing this on yourself by falsely advertising your services?

Being you are not a verified provider here and we have nothing to base what you are saying on this make this a tough one to chime in on.

However I’m going to go all flip and chime in.

If you advertise as a massage only and your prices are in line with being a massage only provider then absolutely not, however even with that being said there are certain things that ARE EXPECTED even with a massage only service. Let’s face facts if a man or woman just wanted a therapeutic massage there are PLENTY of licensed places to go get the done professionally much cheaper at that. So if that is the service you want to offer then go get licensed and work a 9-5… (in this case you are kind of bringing it on yourself)(as doodle said you really might want to clarify with the client ahead of time no one likes wasting time)

Now if your prices are more in line with say a FS provider then you can absolutely expect that most of the clientele you will attract will absolutely expect FS. Here’s the bottom line your massage skill may be nice but so are the professional skills of a licensed therapist and in most cases they would have you beat hands down just for the fact they have trained in massage. (in this case you are absolutely bringing this on yourself).

Michelle you may want to think about getting established some place and be very clear and I mean crystal clear what you are offering. We as clients expect to not have our time being wasted just as much as you the provider does and we most definitely do not want to be ripped off by hack services. As far as the TWO consenting adults goes well yeah Hun, but if this needs to be spelled out to you sweetheart you are in the wrong business.

Now I want to say that I don’t know you or what you advertise I’m simply giving you my 2 penny’s, what you do with that is completely up to you. You can take it in stride and learn something, rub them together make a fire, or toss them in the trash. However if you are advertising something you are not offering there’s a really good chance that one day you cross paths with the wrong person and that could go badly.
So my advice was given above get established and be crystal clear about what you want to offer, then let the client decide if their time and money is worth your service..

When you go to the store and buy something hun you expect to get what you pay for this is no different….

Stay Safe have fun
Wakeup's Avatar
So you're a hooker? Why do we care about your troubles if you're not a hooker here?
Cpalmson's Avatar
All of this conjecture is pure speculation. From the OP, it is hard to tell when she laid out her rules, and a couple of the guys are assuming (don't do that--- you know what means ) certain things.

If the lady laid down her rules PRIOR to the client agreeing to see her and he tried to push the limits after arriving, he is to blame and IS disrespecting the lady.

If the lady agreed to see the gentleman and did not inform him or was evasive as to her services, then she is to blame when he arrives for the date and gets hit with a list of "don'ts" or "no's".

FWIW, I think most guys are respectful but at the same time will push limits. This is a YMMV hobby and I know from experience that girls offer different services to different clients. Sometimes all it takes is a little asking-- especially if you have a history with the lady.
Old-T's Avatar
  • Old-T
  • 02-06-2014, 09:53 AM
All of this conjecture is pure speculation. From the OP, it is hard to tell when she laid out her rules, and a couple of the guys are assuming (don't do that--- you know what means ) certain things.

If the lady laid down her rules PRIOR to the client agreeing to see her and he tried to push the limits after arriving, he is to blame and IS disrespecting the lady.

If the lady agreed to see the gentleman and did not inform him or was evasive as to her services, then she is to blame when he arrives for the date and gets hit with a list of "don'ts" or "no's".

FWIW, I think most guys are respectful but at the same time will push limits. This is a YMMV hobby and I know from experience that girls offer different services to different clients. Sometimes all it takes is a little asking-- especially if you have a history with the lady. Originally Posted by Cpalmson
Well said. It is near impossible to tell in this case.

One of the major ways to avoid confusion is to clearly state YES/NO activities, however a lot of ladies are not comfortable doing that for legal reasons.

Another is to have some good (i.e. accurate) reviews that other clients post about you. If you then link them from your web site, and those reviews describe your offerings accurately, that should avoid a lot of the incorrect expectations.

Unfortunately no matter what you do, some guys will always be jerks. You can be as clear as possible and they will still think that they have the right to shove on any boundary you have. I have a friend whose roommate was murdered by a scum because he wanted her to do things that were not on her menu (and her reviews clearly stated they weren't). No matter what you offer or not, THAT is one of the reason's you need to screen. It isn't just about avoiding LE.

PS: Don't feel too bad about our resident curmudgeon, Wakeup, and don't take it personally. He is belligerent to almost everyone.
Hermosa's Avatar
Sorry Doodle, I think your off base. We're paying a donation for time. We all hope for and want the perfect experience. We get what we get. The ladies are not you personal property to do whatever you want for the agreed upon time. I agree with you that the menu should be clearly stated. I also accept that sometimes something doesn't click. We check profiles and ROS to see what others experienced and anticipate. However, it's always "Your experience might vary" at any time. If the lady say's no, If I walk into the room and say no, I'm out of here, we can air it out with reviews. We can put it out on alerts, but never, NEVER are we allowed to "TAKE IT"! I'm going to believe you didn't mean it to come out that way. That is a real good way to be a marked man. Just thinking.
Doodle23's Avatar
Sorry Doodle, I think your off base. We're paying a donation for time. We all hope for and want the perfect experience. We get what we get. The ladies are not you personal property to do whatever you want for the agreed upon time. I agree with you that the menu should be clearly stated. I also accept that sometimes something doesn't click. We check profiles and ROS to see what others experienced and anticipate. However, it's always "Your experience might vary" at any time. If the lady say's no, If I walk into the room and say no, I'm out of here, we can air it out with reviews. We can put it out on alerts, but never, NEVER are we allowed to "TAKE IT"! I'm going to believe you didn't mean it to come out that way. That is a real good way to be a marked man. Just thinking. Originally Posted by Hermosa
My words were harsh, but I am not saying that a lady is property. I have stated very clearly that a lady has every right to do what she wishes and I am totally cool with that. But lets not kid ourselves. We know why we are here. This isn't high school..If she isn't cool with certain things that is totally fine man, the issue I have is if she took the money and then decided she didn't want to do other activities. Do you see where I am coming from? She isn't a teenager in the back of a chevy fending off a horny boyfriend. The guy is paying money and expected a certain level of service.We all know why we are here. If she isn't okay with that then she needs to have him leave immediately or end the date, but not take the money and then decide to only do certain services while he is expecting more.

I am not saying this lady is property or is a bad person or any of that stuff, but sometimes in order to improve ourselves in life or business we do need to hear things which may make us upset in order to motivate us to do better in the future and handle things better. She probably needs to learn to screen better before she gets seriously hurt because it sounds like this is a regular thing. If this is a regular thing she probably needs to screen better or pick better clients. Patting her on the head and telling her it wasn't her fault and that no means no is only going to make her continue the problem of not double checking someone's rep before seeing them and possibly getting her seriously hurt or worse.

I am terribly sorry for how I worded things originally. I tend to take an unfiltered no bullshit approach when dealing with people. Politically correct has never been my style but I'm working on it. I've said my peace, I wish this girl the best, but I'm done with this.
joesmo888's Avatar
the OP has 3 posts, 0 reviews, and we (i'm assuming) have no clue who she is... not sure what the drama is all about but this seems like a troll thread
the OP has 3 posts, 0 reviews, and we (i'm assuming) have no clue who she is... not sure what the drama is all about but this seems like a troll thread Originally Posted by joesmo888

I appreciate all the responses. Let me clearly state that I am not young nor nieve. I do not advertise here on eccie but other sites. I have amazing regulars who are respectful and may or may not get "extras" my ad does state sensual touch but list NO sex. It is clearly stated. However, I have enjoyed additionals with select few that has nothing to do with the service I advertise. Men pay me for my touch NOT for sex.

I appreciate those of you who respect boundaries and the ladies on here. If you want sex plus, see only the providers that advertise such, and not the ones who don't. You may or may not leave disappointed. I will say, although the two who TOOK, not one of my clients ever have left disappointed, and always tip well, and return often. It's the difference between a gentlemen and those who are less than gentlemen like.

💋
SpiceItUp's Avatar
I appreciate all the responses. Let me clearly state that I am not young nor nieve. I do not advertise here on eccie but other sites. I have amazing regulars who are respectful and may or may not get "extras" my ad does state sensual touch but list NO sex. It is clearly stated. However, I have enjoyed additionals with select few that has nothing to do with the service I advertise. Men pay me for my touch NOT for sex.

I appreciate those of you who respect boundaries and the ladies on here. If you want sex plus, see only the providers that advertise such, and not the ones who don't. You may or may not leave disappointed. I will say, although the two who TOOK, not one of my clients ever have left disappointed, and always tip well, and return often. It's the difference between a gentlemen and those who are less than gentlemen like.

�� Originally Posted by Michellemem
Sorry but every FBSM massage ad I've ever seen states no sex, yet sex of some type is almost always the expectation. It's the massage ad equivalent of the escort ads saying "payment is for my time only". Especially if the rate is in line with escort rates.

You've just basically admitted that you do in fact offer extras, so what are you mad about again? Should the guys booking you just hope and pray and cross their fingers you deem them fit to bestow extras upon? Maybe if you were more clear with them at the beginning of the session you wouldn't have these issues. Obviously No means No and no man has the right to make you feel uncomfortable but I wonder if you are doing all you can on your end to make it clear the boundaries you have set.

Also, why are you posting on the Escort Client Community Information Exchange if you claim to not be a hooker?
I do not advertise here on eccie but other sites.
Then why chose this venue to bitch?
jumped by a hippo...
Then why chose this venue to bitch? Originally Posted by Stanfeld
Because the ass clients who crossed are members of THIS site ....
Sorry but every FBSM massage ad I've ever seen states no sex, yet sex of some type is almost always the expectation. It's the massage ad equivalent of the escort ads saying "payment is for my time only". Especially if the rate is in line with escort rates.

You've just basically admitted that you do in fact offer extras, so what are you mad about again? Should the guys booking you just hope and pray and cross their fingers you deem them fit to bestow extras upon? Maybe if you were more clear with them at the beginning of the session you wouldn't have these issues. Obviously No means No and no man has the right to make you feel uncomfortable but I wonder if you are doing all you can on your end to make it clear the boundaries you have set.

Also, why are you posting on the Escort Client Community Information Exchange if you claim to not be a hooker? Originally Posted by SpiceItUp
What am I mad about???? Lol NO means NO if YOU hear it then your ass needs to stop! Boundaries r clear.... Period..... I'm NOT a hooker nor do I advertise as being such....

Again....interesting remarks....