should i take a hint...

so what does it mean when you try and set up an appt with a provider, pm ing back and forth...you think you have all the nitty gritty details down and then nothing? then you see that they have had recent activity on eccie. i know you really can't take things personal in this hobby but i'm just curious. do i pm back or just drop it and find another provider? i'd like advice from both providers and hobbyists.

maluhia...h

Are you saying she did not respond to your last pm, but got on and had recent activity? If this is the case, PM her one more time just in case..other than that, leave it alone and try another provider. If a gent PMs me regarding an appointment soon (I'm assuming its soon for you two as well) I stay on the ball so he knows I take him seriously - then again everyone is different, I'd move on though.

Just move on.

It's called flakiness.

It's rampant in this business.

Were you requesting a hh appt? I've found that providers will simply flake if they get a better deal of a full hour or more, even though they advertise hh appts. She may have had a frequent flyer request some time too after your contact with her, and chose to take it and ignore you, assuming that you've never seen her before.

It has happened to most of us. Recently happened to me involving a very respected provider here in Austin. One of the real Queen Bee's here. I was very surprised. In the past, I've simply ignored them and choose never to have anything to do with them again. Too many fish. But, I suppose the more mature approach would be to contact them asking WTF? In a very polite manner of course. There may be a plausible explanation.

Based on your description, I would say just move on for now. This is bound to happen to all of us sooner or later. Maybe give this lady another shot later, or maybe not.

so what does it mean when you try and set up an appt with a provider, pm ing back and forth...you think you have all the nitty gritty details down and then nothing? then you see that they have had recent activity on eccie. i know you really can't take things personal in this hobby but i'm just curious. do i pm back or just drop it and find another provider? i'd like advice from both providers and hobbyists.

maluhia...h Originally Posted by hanuman

If you feel there are no bad vibes then wait until she post in the provider ads or weekend lineup that she is available. Send her what time you are available to see if she has available time. If no reply then move on.

DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE do what I did on Sunday night. A provider and I had to cancel. We both agreed this would be good for both our safety. The provider messages me we can just text if u want. MISTAKE NUMBER ONE by me - I text "sure why not"

After one grammatically incorrect sentence in one of her text we both started sending text that were about completely different things. This eventually led to the "releasing of the provider text wrath" . I will just end with I will not be meeting her anytime in the future, I have moved on.

new hobby acronym - RPTW - releasing of the provider text wrath

maybe she had poopy tummy all day?

Were you requesting a hh appt? I've found that providers will simply flake if they get a better deal of a full hour or more, even though they advertise hh appts. She may have had a frequent flyer request some time too after your contact with her, and chose to take it and ignore you, assuming that you've never seen her before. Originally Posted by Squarenot

This is not for Squarenot, alone. Anyone can respond.

Sounds as though "flakiness" is kinda accepted. How is this different from NCNS?

This is not for Squarenot, alone. Anyone can respond.

Sounds as though "flakiness" is kinda accepted. How is this different from NCNS? Originally Posted by JohnBrown7

It is what it is....and it is kinda like NCNS.

Hmm...Were you very clear that you wanted to set up an appt with said provider? Had you made arrangements, set up a day or time? Just curious.

I get a lot of pm's, p411 messages and emails from gentlemen. Some seem to enjoy the back and forth banter (attention). However, I'm not the type of provider that plays games or tries to (beg, convince, overly flirt) with potential clients to score a session. If they don't come right out and set up a session... Then I figure they're not interested. I'm sure I've lost quite a few potential clients with my approach. But I'm naturally reserved and shy...can't help it.

If I were you I wouldn't take it personally. If I'm on my iPhone I sometimes post a quick response to a thread. I don't respond to messages or pm's unless I'm on my laptop or
computer. Maybe she's the same way. Why don't you ask her?


Leslielane1@live.com
*Doesn't beg, borrow or steal. Anti-social, shy and reserved.

maybe she had poopy tummy all day? Originally Posted by RALPHEY BOY

Lol. Or maybe she has poopy TCB all the time.

Poor TCB and flakiness is all to common in the hobby.
Do not jump through hoops, bend over backwards or chase after a provider just so you can give her your hard earned money.
Remember there plenty of other providers, time to explore other options and move on.

is she high or low volume?

that might be it!

A few possibilities:

1. The one everyone assumes: She's flaky, or has a ton of messages and yours slipped through the cracks and she missed it.

2. She stopped communication because she decided she doesn't want to see you. This is more common than some believe. It can happen for many reasons. References came back less than stellar, she's too busy to accommodate you, she isn't taking new clients, etc... The reality is not everyone is in a position where they see everyone who contacts them. Some are more picky than others. Some have that luxury, some don't. In the same situation where something in communications with a lady rubs you the wrong way or sets off your spidey sense, the same can happen on the other end. It's not personal.

If it was just one PM that didn't receive a response. Send another and ask. What's the worst that can happen? If she doesn't respond to that one, move on. If she does, you will have your answers. Like Tatonka said, nothing good comes from bending over backwards to accommodate or chasing someone who either is bad at the business side or simply isn't interested in your business. Plenty of other ladies who will be... It will drive you nuts if you let it.

It appears you're not exactly a newbie, so I'm guessing you knew the answers to this already...

thanks, for all the responses. here are the instances(it was actually two providers)...

the first one i have seen before and was told that she wouldn't be available until after a certain time. the last pm i sent, i had asked when would she be available after that time and i never heard back. maybe something happened which i completely understand but then i saw she posted again the next day. i didn't think i was trying to create any kind of back and forth banter(i don't like that either)

the second provider is relatively new on eccie and after some pm ing back and forth to iron out details the last pm i sent, i gave a loose description of myself(ethnicity) to her and then crickets.

i certainly don't take it personal but it does make me wonder. it both instances, i thought i made it very clear i wished to set up an appt.

maluhia....h

the second provider is relatively new on eccie and after some pm ing back and forth to iron out details the last pm i sent, i gave a loose description of myself(ethnicity) to her and then crickets.


I think it is easy to see why the second provider didn't respond after you sent a description of yourself. She obviously felt it was a session she didn't want to do. Don't dwell on it, just move on. There are other providers.