What was your worst provider visit?

I'm sure every hobbyist has some bad memories. I've been stood up several times. Ripped off.
But I think my most disappointing experience was going to visit a very sexy looking lady that was just no fun. She was very petite and pretty. I was so excited about the session. When I got there I was happy to see that she was the same girl in the pics. I was thinking "jackpot this is going to be awesome".

But when we started I soon realized she had no personality at all. She didn't make any noise. She didn't move. She only did one position. She didn't even pretend to be having fun. Just a blank expression on her face. Then after about 5 minutes she told me to hurry up because she had another appointment. Talk about a mood killer. Don't worry, she wasn't an ECCIE girl.

I was at a local rub & tug. The girl was new, young and cute but nothing that special. She started the massage on my back and after a couple of minutes she just left and did not return. After a few minutes another girl, that had been there a while, came in and finished the job. I thanked her for taking over for the first girl, gave her a little extra tip and she said that the first girl was crazy. Upon a return trip, the girl that walked out on me was no longer there.

I know that I'm not the best looking guy but I have many guys beat. To just walk out?

The review is in my signature.

No doubt this was it...... nothing happened got there; met her just paid her and left.

http://arlington.backpage.com/BodyRu...-wild/21294453

Your mom.

Couldn't resist lol

The review is in my signature. Originally Posted by Von Spieler

Curiosity got the best of me, I had to read this one, I almost did laugh out loud a few times. Very humorous writing for such a horrific experience

Here's my worst visit...

http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?...256&highlight=

Still SMFH on this one.

For those of us that have been doing this a while, I have had my share of disappointments,just part of the game.

Tara was my worst

I use to search bp and craigslist for dates. Meet this one AA girl, whose cat smelt like fish. I told her and she had tissue in her bra - WTF. I told her that I wanted to fuck her ass and she asked me if I was gay.

That ass was SO tight that I just jacked off and came on her face. She rubbed it all over her face because she said it was good for her skin. We chit chatted and told me that some guys skip out on paying her. I felt bad for her. I got over it real quick and told her I wanted a two for one deal, or I wasn't going to pay her. She gave me a sad face BJ and I butted on her, again.

I still feel bad.

Let's see if I can remember this at all. It happened to one of our legendary gents back in the ASPD days. As I recall he was out of town on business and ordered up a little room service. When he opened the door who should appear but his ex-wife. I believe we all wanted to know which party was more surprised and/or embarrassed.

If any of you really old-timers can recall this, maybe someone can post a link.

My worst one was seeing a "little person" off BP at a shady hotel. Service was meh. Her female friend was hiding in the bathroom who I met at the end of the session. And she had pizza delivered in the middle of our session where she argued about the tip with the delivery guy while I stood naked and erect against the wall.

No doubt, mine was a massage chick named Miranda out of the mid cities. I hopped on her table and there was no sheet. She came in, went bat shit crazy and told me to get out and told me the police were already on their way. I joined eccie later that day.

I have Two:

Back in the days of ASPD, there was a provider whom I will not name. Great set of tits...her reviews mentioned, repeatedly, that she had great tits, and a smell, but REALLY great tits.

Being new-ish to the hobby, I figured, "Why the hell not?" She was within my budget and available when I needed. I contacted her and headed to her place.

When I get there, she's fresh out of the shower. Wrapped in a towel, hair still wet freshly showered. I shuck my clothes and she drops the towel. WOW, she's got great tits. And then the smell hits me. Like decomposing vegetable matter. Faint at first, but when she gets on the bed and her legs open, it REALLY hits me. Bacterial vaginosis. She's blathering on about being a teacher's aide, and how ignorant she thinks the "little nigger kids" are, and that's when I notice the SS lightning bolts on her inner thighs and the swastika on her mound. So I try to shut her racist ass up by putting my dick in her mouth. She shifts so I can get at her gash, but it stinks SO bad, I can't stay hard, and now my finger stinks and I just want to get my nut and leave.

So I close my nose and focus on her tits, and manage to get a boner. She stops sucking and makes a move to hop on bare, and I'm like, "FUCK, NO!" I almost knock her over rolling to get the rubber. I get it on, and she hops on for a ride...but every time she goes up, the stench from her rotten pussy fills the air. I'm trying to focus on her tits, but the smell is so distracting, any lapse in my concentration will result in a limp noodle. It's like when Paul Atreides sticks his hand in the Bene Gesserit pain box, except the hand is my cock, and the pain box is a stanky puss. The Gom Jabbar of going limp and having the condom slip and my bare dick come in contact with what is likely a diseased hole hovers over me. She shudders in orgasm and I take the opportunity to fake mine. I pull the condom off and drop it in the toilet, pull my clothes on, and get the fuck out. When I get home I wash, but the smell persists. I use betadine and rubbing alcohol and lava soap before I can get the stink of her off of my hand. This is why, to this day, if a review mentions a stink, I stay away.


Second Place:
I was scrolling through BP and came across an ad for a pregnant provider who's offering doubles with a friend. I contact her and set an appointment and head out. I get to the hotel and she directs me to the room. There's arguing and shouting that I can hear. Once inside her room, I can tell it's coming from the adjacent room.

We get naked and down to business. The two ladies refuse to do "any of that lesbian shit." CBJ only, too. Apparently, she got busted for prostitution in California, and they made her take a class that taught her, "You can get all KINDS of VD from ANY unprotected sexual contact, even blowjobs!" I'm trying to make the best of it, when there's a knock on the door. "POLICE! OPEN UP!"

I'm like, "What the fuck, yo?" I hide in the shower while the girls hastily get dressed to let the cops in. I come out wearing a towel and the pregnant girl tells the cops I'm her boyfriend and that I just got off work and we're all getting ready to go out. The police just want to know about the fight next door. Like Sgt. Schultz, ve know nutthink!

The police leave, but a covered BJ isn't doing ANYTHING for my libido. Jr is NOT happy, and I have to wrangle him to attention by hand. Cover up and go in for mish with the pregnant girl because, "You're here to fuck a pregnant girl!" Actually, I was there to have a threesome with a pregnant girl and her hot friend, but the friend is just kind of sitting off to the side looking bored. Won't let me touch her. Won't touch me. Won't touch the pregnant girl I'm fucking. And speaking of fucking, this girl is a dead fish with a loose hole. I've got to pick a side and stick with it. After about 30 minutes, my time is almost up. I pull out and finish myself off, splattering the pregnant girl's belly with baby batter. I leave, feeling cheated out of what could have been an awesome night, if I'd chosen better company.

And THAT'S why I don't troll BP any more.

the above mentioned Miranda chick. although I saw her in North Dallas. absolutely nuts. incall was her apartment, although she said it wasn't even though there was tons of personal stuff there. she was using her bed for the appt. started with the back rub, tried to make conversation but I couldn't seem to say anything right. she said she was thinking of getting into another line of work, I said oh, good for you, then she gets all agitated and says what's wrong with what I'm doing now?! I'm like look you crazy nut you're the one that just said you wanted to do something else with your life, I was just trying to be supportive and say good for you, whatever makes you happy, go for it, etc. I'm just there for happy time, I'll tell ya you're Shiva the goddess of fuckery if that will help you get naked....jeez!

anyways...after the flip I asked for the clothes to come off, she had to go to the bathroom to remove her top and at that point she had already went to the bathroom for something twice during the back rub. She's rubbing the front and I can tell this just isn't going to work. I tell her I'm just not up for it and at that point she comes unglued. starts telling me I better not report her to the leasing office and that she didn't write her ad, keeps walking in and out of the room, on her phone texting the whole time. At this point I had already put the funds in plain site and told her I wasn't calling anyone and that I was just going to leave.

Pretty sure she took a picture of me as I was walking away from her building too. I was just happy to get out of there, found aspd not long after!