Client stalker

Dear Lord,
I saw a guy like 4 years ago in Manhattan for ONE hour only. He kept stalking me ever since. I told him repeatedly to get out of my life in the usual friendly ways all of you know and he STILL keeps mailing me. I can`t possibly have been THAT good, can i? (lol) somehow he also got a hold of my private FB. creepers, eh? I seriously DON`t want to know what goes on in some guys heads....

Nina,

I had a client try to blackmail me in December causing me to remove all my face pictures and delisting myself from the review site that brought me the most money. Possible that you are that good or maybe he's bored and needs something to do. It is horrible when something like this happens because some of us go into panic mode and have to start all over again. I am very sorry that this happened to you. I know EXACTLY what you are going through. I haven't been seeing you post in awhile. A regular asked me last night where you were because he follows your post here and I was getting worried. Glad to have you back, safe and sound.

kisses,
Naomi

Guys who are stalkers have some serious issues. I am glad to see you are ok and hopefully this guy gets the point and moves on. The closest I have had is a good friend whos ex-husband was stalking her. he even threatened me and the new guy she was dating but luckily the worst that happened was him showing up at the door and running away when cops were called. being in Texas I can legally carry my gun but I hope to avoid ever being in a situation where I would actually have to use it on another person.

Always err on the side of caution when it comes to people like this since a guy who is stable mentally wouldnt stalk a girl.

Unfortunately, this is one of the risks of being an escort and a story I've heard one too many times. Even when we put our best "Spidey Senses" to work and use our intuition to feel out our patrons during our time together, almost anyone can put on a "good act" to make a positive impression.

This is all common sense and I know the ladies here do a good job at screening and protecting themselves but as a reminder, there are additional little things to keep in mind to protect yourselves. ****I just composed a list here and deleted it fearing that a potential wackadoo stalker will take notes and find ways to work around them. Ladies, DM or email me if you would like those additional reminders.

We as sex workers are vulnerable to stalkers who realize that many of us keep this part of our lives a secret to friends and family. A number of us also have "day jobs," children, leadership positions etc... A predator will keep all of this in mind and use it against us if s/he is triggered to do so for whatever reason (as Naomi mentioned, she was blackmailed.)

Keep in mind the same goes for the gentlemen. I'm sure we've all heard stories about gents who have been outed by escorts or blackmailed etc...

Even just being a single person in the dating world carries dangers of attracting a stalker. How do you know the person you're meeting from a matchmaking site is really who s/he says s/he is?

Bottom line is I have a feeling that most of us have a stalker story to share from some point in our lives. The key is to not let them win. Stand up for yourself, contact your attorney (or hire one if you don't have one) and let her/him know what is going on and how to handle it. Carry pepper spray. Do not engage in emails or phone calls with your predator, even if that person is calling you 50 times a day leaving nasty vms. Change your number if you can or save the vms as evidence against the stalker. If you are a sex worker, contact your local SWOP chapter for help or call their national hotline.

Stay strong and be safe!

I am travelling that is why i posted. I am not afraid of that guy, i am just seriously surprised. Where can i blacklist him? He is some wall street guy, always trying to bargain with rates and was pissed because i did not see him as a regular friend , since only regulars are entitled to my old rates and not a one timer who writes annowing messages all the time.

I have his email and want to blacklist him. I guess a NYC provider i once knew must have told him my real name because i have absolutely no clue how he could have possibly found out such an information. But she is someone who always tells every idiot who runs her way her real name and information. Grrr. He tried to befriend me with his fake facebook name in my real account and i asked him if he seriously has lost it. I thought he stays away. Now he contacted me again on my provider homepage and i am really unfriendly towards him. I mean i saw this guy ONE TIME ONLY! That is what freaks me out. We never have been freinds or something. So i want to blacklist him to warn other providers.

Hi Nina;

I think Lynette is (sadly) correct that it happens to all of us at one point or another. Touch wood, it happened to me for the first and only time about 4 years ago...and the idiot started a blog!
I just continually ignored him because I realized that responding to him in anyway was simply giving him the attention he wanted. He did eventually get bored and bugger off but it did take a few months. Try ignoring him for a while and I think your pest might eventually do the same...but as one of the gentleman on here said, be aware of it always.

Hugs and good luck

C xxx

Hi Camille,
Thanks. I think though when he invades my privatesphere he deserves a thorough response. Ignoring people makes them feel they can do it again. If he contacts me EVER again i will take legal actions against him.

Hi Camille,
Thanks. I think though when he invades my privatesphere he deserves a thorough response. Ignoring people makes them feel they can do it again. If he contacts me EVER again i will take legal actions against him. Originally Posted by ninasastri

Board rules prevent some suggestions. Let us just say surreptitious actions might get better results than legal action.

Board rules prevent some suggestions. Let us just say surreptitious actions might get better results than legal action. Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

Yeah legal actions are usually on the slow side.

LM makes a good point about civie stalkers & people you meet on dating sites (or in my case a watering hole). What do you really know about them? In the case of a one night stand you already have crossed some intimacy lines & there is a good chance she knows where you live.

I had one two years ago. I'll spare you the details. I was at my wits (I know, insert joke here) end as to how to handle the situation. I finally took a risk & reached out to her best friend, told her what was going on (with examples) and asked her to have a heart to heart with the stalker. It worked. I never heard from her again. I few weeks later I got a note of apology delivered by the friend*.

*no I never did fuck the friend, as much as I wanted to. I figured that could get make the stalker do something nutty. Peace was better than piece.

I've had somebody ask me what city and what date I was gonna see a particular provider. I was like "huh?". Like I'm gonna tell someone that.

It is a sad thing thing that this happens as much as it does. A particular provider on here is one of my favorite posters here and now she has practically stopped because of this issue among other things. It's a shame cause it stifles such a vibrant personality.

Nina- it is probably a combination of you being "that" good and his choices in women.....

I want a stalker..... lol

what bothers me is that someone i met that long ago and have already told to go screw himself would make so much effort to find out my real name and stalk me on facebook. That is creepy. And of course - he trioed to add me with his FAKE fb account - so much for equality, right? I have clients i have also become friends with on my REAL facebook, but all of them with their REAL names as well :-)

Who knows or cares for the reason for his sickness, but surely you can circumvent that by simply blocking his mail?

Leah Ireland

OK when I posted that I saw your post re. he found you on Facebook - but how could he do that without you giving him too much information? And still, can't you stop him contacting you there?

Best,

Leah. x

but how could he do that without you giving him too much information?
Leah. x Originally Posted by Leah Ireland

I have my Facebook account set to where I'm unsearchable. My real name is the same as an actress, so that makes it even harder to search for me.

you can put in the provider buzz...and an alert here...I too was stalked and harrassed and had to change my handle and everything so I know how you feel....keep you head up and PM me for more ideas....be safe