If you wish to have us all opine in on your situation, you have come to the right place--though I don't know why you would wish that. No, I don't want to hear or see your sad story.
OTOH, if you are looking for a lady to pop up here and ask you over and fix your problem, this is not the right place.
Try the Requests and ISO Forum at:
https://www.eccie.net/forumdisplay.php?f=796
Finally, if you think you might get lucky, and one of the ladies might offer you a "free session" because she feels sorry for you, good post. If you get one, then please share the ladies handle as I am sure there are a number of other mongers here--those who spend most of their time on the keyboard and don't get much BCD time--as they would also appreciate a lady who would provide such a free service.
<All above is Sarcastic Humor and you should not expect a serious response when posting something like this on an active hooker board.> But, then I could be wrong.