The question in this case was (not specific to escorting):
"What is a dirty little (or big) secret about an industry that you have worked in, that people outside the industry really ought to know?"
Keep in mind these aren't my words and I'm not saying I agree with everything that was stated, it was just interesting and I thought might lead to some good discussion here. There is a level of candor not often seen in these parts. Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming our ladies for that - it is not in their best interest to display this much candor, because they never know who it will offend and potentially cost them business.
I did edit out some parts for "forbidden subjects". That's also why I didn't link the Quora thread, because as I've learned in the past, forbidden subjects are still forbidden here even when they are only linked to. If anyone wants the link to the Quora discussion thread just PM me.
Once again, these are not my words. I expect there will be something here to agitate just about everyone - clients and providers alike. Feel free to disagree with anything and everything, but be aware you aren't disagreeing with me, but the person that wrote this for the Quora thread. I think I will post my own thoughts on some of these but in a subsequent post since this one will be crazy long already.
Everything after this in this post is quoted from the Quora thread. I added minor formatting for readability and edited out any forbidden subject references to save myself a warning but other than that it's verbatim.
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Escort here. I'm anon-a-miss so nobody who doesn't need to know about my escorting finds out about my escorting. Here are a few dirty tricks and some interesting secrets you may not know.
1. There still are pimps. Only now they're set up as businesses. They're called agencies. They don't punch us, but they do browbeat us and make the main reason why we go independent
2. Touring. It’s not uncommon to go on tour to visit new markets and make tons of money by horny men who are convinced this is a once in a lifetime chance to bed us. Two things. Firstly, most girls have a certain group of cities and places they rotate around in. We may do DC, LA, NY, we may do Dallas, Houston, Vegas, or any other rotation, but don’t worry; odds are we’ll be around again. Secondly, tour rates are often inflated, sometimes as much as 25% over our rates in our base cities.
3. Infidelity. ~50% of our clients are married or taken. I know, ladies at home, you’re outraged. But be thankful that out of all your man’s problems, the worst vice he has is he enjoys sex with attractive women. He’s not a <forbidden subject>, a klepto, a <forbidden subject>, violent, or anything like that. Let me tell you, a lot of my clients have said things like “I love my wife/girlfriend/fiance, but… I then hear normally things about lack of attraction, how they’re being henpecked, got fat, stopped putting out, don’t make them feel appreciated, and so on. Sometimes I feel for them, but usually I don’t; I’d reckon 80% are normal guys looking for excuses to get some side actions, 15% are chronic cheaters who could have a harem of pornstars and supermodels, yet still find excuses to cheat, and maybe about 5 of them have a real need or reason, like the wife simply refusing all sex, the wife being too ill for intimacy, or mentally ill, or having an open marriage, or now being separated by still married, but these are the distinct tiny minority. If you’re a battered husband, please leave; you splitting from the shrew and regaining your dignity gives a far better lesson to your children than them growing up thinking habitual, casualt cruely is just fine. What screws kids up is seeing dysfunction that does NOT get fixed or handled maturely and responsibly. In before we get "But I'm a model good looking woman who loves sex, cooks 3 course gourmet meals every day, works out for 2 hours 5x a week, always finds sexy things to wear, keeps the house fabulously clean, and gives blowjobs all the time!" Odds are you aren't. This is the female equivalent of men claiming to be a Navy SEAL or whatever. Sure, some are, but only few.
4. If your man were happy and satisfied, I tell you there’s a 95% chance he would not be seeing me, and you know what, 95% of men are satisfied and don’t stray from their wives, and will never encounter me doing my job. This is assuming he isn’t a guy who just can’t or won’t stay faithful, because if he is seeing me, it’s because he feels not going to get his needs met by you, no matter what he tries or says — he’s convinced you’re not approachable or it’s a fight he’s not going to win, so he’d rather get his needs met discretely by someone he can say anything or do anything with. And the fact that he’s seeing me instead of starting on a side piece means he’s just looking for distraction and release, not replacement. I don't want your beau for my own. I like most of my clients and fuck almost all of them, but I'm not interested in anything more than a commercial relationship with him, nor is he with me.
5. We get four different primary groups of men.
First are just guys looking for quick fun. Odds are they’ll see us when they’re single, taking off when they’re with someone.
Second are guys who crave variety. They can truly love you, but nothing excites a man more than a new mate. No two women do it alike. I like variety in guys, too. No shame in liking a mixup.
Third are guys who need emotional support. I see a lot of traumatized and shellshocked guys. Marines, soldiers, airmen, sailors, coasties, cops, firefighters, paramedics, and more. A lot of guys who've been raped or abused come to me. I could write a pretty good gritty novel with all the stories I've heard over the years. These guys just need someone to hold them, let them know that they can be happy and help them to realize it's okay to feel good and be alive. A two hour experience with me can do more for a lot of traumatized guys than a long battery of therapy and antidepressants, and odds are I'm cheaper and won't get them barred from future work due to their psych conditions (US background checks are brutal and any history of counseling or mental illness gets penalized harshly). I've had clients cry while between my thighs. I've consoled men as they held their heads, screaming in foreign languages. My most memorable client was a holocaust survivor. I've made men first laugh and they cry as I made them feel happy and okay for the first time in years.
6. Fourth is a unique breed. These are guys who make a hobby of seeing escorts. We love and hate them. Love them for all the money they can bring, plus good reviews are MUST to survive. Guys, if pooning is your hobby, if you show up, pay us what we're owed, never bitch about condoms, don't try to pressure us for stuff, and treat us like a partner instead of a body to masturbate with, we love you. These is not about you. This is about those other guys. We hate them for the bad ones who try to weasel things like bareback service (I kick guys out just for hinting at this), get freebies, try to leverage reviews for stuff, try to make us do things we don't want to do (Anal, bondage, pissing, butt stuff for me)... I'd say the ones who make long bookings and pop Viagra are the worst, especially at the start of a day with plenty of clients. Essentially, they'll call for 3 hours and then take a pill that means they can fuck you like a machine for the whole time. That REALLY FUCKING HURTS! And it's horribly dehumanising when somebody uses your body just to masturbate. Guys, show some consideration, if not for me, then for the other men who are going to enlist my services. Treat me like a seldom visited girlfriend in another city, who you help with bills every time because you're such a nice guy, and you are respectful in bed because she's your lover, not your slave. Ever felt burned by a provider who just couldn't put out like you wanted, made you keep stopping or forced you to switch to oral, tits, or handy? Yeah, that's because some fuckstick thought it'd be a great idea to get hopped up on boner pills and pound away like the Energizer bunny. And now I and every guy after you isn't going to have a very nice time of it, thanks to you. And a lot of respectful guys who just wanted a quick round and a cuddle are going to be dollars out and disappointment in. Congrats, you just hurt my reputation and business on top of ruining it for everyone. No, I won't be seeing you again. And I doubt any girl I can tell will, either. There are blacklist sites and referalls. Word gets around, trust me.
7. Escorts talk a lot with each other. Sex karma is totally a thing. If you're bad, we'll warn each other. If you're good, we'll let each other know. If you're really good, maybe we'll put together something special just for you with some friends...
8. We actually aren't supernaturally great at sex. We're practiced, welcoming, and enthusiastic, plus good looking. We're a dependably good lay, not astronomical, though. I've sent more than a few guys to heaven and they swore I was the best they ever had (I don’t believe them; yet to make any guy pass out yet), but I've also had plenty of reviews from guys who I made cum quite nicely say that I wasn't worth it and even stunk in bed. I gave them the best experience I could and brought them to orgasm as an active partner; don't know what they were expecting. Confetti?
9. Another point for ladies. It's not about blowjobs, it's about what the blowjob represents. It represents to a man that a woman likes and cares enough about him to do something solely for his benefit, and will take time out of her schedule to do it. Sucking a dick can take 10 minutes easily, it's not particularly fun, and it takes time from whatever you're doing. Men like feeling loved, important, and taken care of, just like us.
10. We actually like our jobs, to the extent anyone can “like” work. What other job involves being pampered, estemed, pursued, taken to dinner, shown around town. receiving very nice gifts, and getting laid? Stumped ya, didn't I? We aren't some Polaris Project battered <forbidden subject> or abolitionist propaganda slaves -- we escorts are adult women who have made rational choices to do sex work. We're good at it, and we enjoy it. It's not always perfect, just like any other job. I reckon I orgasm, or feel very nice, at least 15% of the time, and I get so much sex through work that I never want for loving in my personal life.
11. Far more men see us than you'd think. Scientists may tell you that 10-15% of American men see escorts. I'd estimate no less than 20%, no more than 35%. I'd reckon a solid 15% of guys see a sex worker at least annually, and probably 10% see one of us at least monthly. Most guys won't admit it. There's a stigma around "paying for it". Well, every guy pays for it. One way or another, he does. Whether it's up front in cash, or discrete with dates, gifts, bills, rent, every guy pays. They also kinda do pay us to leave; lots of guys need the physical release and the intimacy, but just don't want all the emotional and social responsibilities of having a girlfriend. And another thing, my clients aren't ugly or repulsive, or at least most aren't. They could get nookie for "free" but they prefer a fun, guaranteed sure thing with a woman who's everything they could ask for with no drama or hassle. I'm definitely far better than getting scammed by a girl who insists on multiple nice dates but never puts out. Or a girl who puts out, but only so long as you buy her all the expensive stuff she wants. And unlike some guy's stalker or psycho girlfriend, I don't bombard him with comminiques demanding to know every detail like the KGB. As for why my customers do pick me and put up half a grand an hour for my time, I’ll never know.
12. "Low Volume" = lazy. Once you get up to mid range escorts ($400/hr and so) girls, we don't get that much better. We're better than a backpage girl. And infinitely better than a streetwalker (NEVER USE STREET GIRLS IF YOU HAVE THE LEAST BIT OF A BRAIN IN YOUR HEAD! I SAY THAT FOR YOUR HEALTH, SAFETY, AND FREEDOM!). But once you get to us, there isn't much that separates a $450 hour from a $1500 liason. "Prestiege"/VIP providers are ripoffs, honestly, and I say that as a Slixa Girl who tours as one. Only two kinds of ladies charge a well-to-do guy more than a week's salary minimum for an encounter: entitled college or near college aged girls capitalising on their youth, and cynical girls with hollow souls. Neither is really worth it. My pussy doesn't magically get tigher when someone throws an extra Benjamin in my envelope. Crossing a donation into quad digits doesn't somehow bestow earthshattering orgasms. And if a girl claims to be low volume, 9/10 times she's just an average working girl who's lazy and realizes she can get the same or more pay by creating an "upscale" image. Sometimes, however, a VIP girl is truly worth it, but it’s your call and your money. Would you pay your electrician more because he only serves "select VIP" customers. I pray not. So why do the same with your escort? NOTE: Does not apply to ladies who only escort part time and don’t depend on it for their bills, or have preexisting obligations, like being students or another job or a family that eats up huge swaths of their hours.
13. Most "specials" aren't. They're ploys to get you to spend money by making you think you're getting a great deal when you actually aren't. For example, I've had some less wealthy clients I cut deals with. Less price, because they had less to pay. I did this, because I figured they were good guys who'd pay and not take advantage, and they'd be glad to pay so long as it wasn't a solid week of their meager incomes. It worked. Instead of going months between visits, they slight reduction in rate made them thing they could see me more for less, even though I ultimately made more money by the more frequent encounters. And for gentlemen who ask to see me outside the bedroom, I’ll do that, even for a cut rate, but public only, no longer than 2hrs, and no hanky panky.
14. We get fetishes all the time. Everything you can image, from spanking, domination, outfits, to far more… strange things. Let’s just say that some college boy requesting early 40’s me to play the part of his mom/aunt/bigsis/teacher is one of the more normal things.
15. We all lie about our ages. Usually it’s to get down into one age category lower, but with the rise of MILF in porn and that carrying over into broader society, it’s not just lying about being 18 when we’re 25 anymore — 18 and 19 year olds are 21, the mid 20’s are teenagers, late 20’s are calling themselves burgeoning mature 30 somethings, and everyone claiming in their add to be 30 is at least 40. Okay, we’re not all that dishonest, but age really is just a number, provided you’re legally of age.
16. Getting older isn’t the end. While we’re no longer as youthful as we once were, we older providers can go after entire new markets and demographics that nubile early 20’s us could have only imagined. The best thing that ever happened to my escort business, after going independent, was hitting 40 and rebranding myself. From young good time girl to practiced vixen of the party years now to a not quite silver fox who enjoys finer things, the company of men, and long, slow burn, intimate evenings full of passion and delight. I get most of my business from two groups: First are older men who like action, but are uncomfortable at doing it with girls young enough to be their daughters or even granndaughters, or just can’t relate to a younger lady. A full third of my business, however, comes from men perhaps at most half my age, who want a mature lady to make love to them, show them things, and be their respite from things like student debt, entry level jobs, internships, and all the doubts facing their generation. I really never would have thought that a 19 year old soldier would want anything to do with these old bones, but I’m not gonna lie, I’m definitely not complaining about being paid to see guys I would’ve killed to have back in my youth.
17. Yes, I can turn you down at any point. Show up drunk, <forbidden subject>, unpleasant, refuse to wear a condom, pressure for stuff I don’t do, and you’ll find yourself out on your bare ass without a refund. You pay me for my time, and in return, I agree to be around you. I agree., so long as the arrangement is mutually pleasing. Try to take the condom off and you may even earn yourself a pair on Irish sunglasses! I am not obligated to take crap from you. I am not your whore. I am not your slave.
18. I get hundreds of messages a day. Please give your name, email/number, something I can use to screen, and an idea of when you may like to meet, who you are, and like to do WITHOUT BEING CRASS/EXPLICIT! If I get two guys, one saying “Hey, want 2 fuk?”, and one saying, “Hello, my name is Nomen Est Secretum. I am 19, Black, a student at the local liberal arts college, and would like to see you next weekend for an hour or two incall, GFE. My number is 555–555–5555, my email is lolexamplemail@kexmix.com. Here is my Facebook, my Linkedin, and a pic of me holding my drivers license — sorry I don’t have any references
. Please get back to me when you can and I look forward to enjoying your company in the future. Thank you very much.” Guess who I’m going to expend energy on? Nomen, of course!19. I am not disease ridden. I use condoms like crazy, because my vagina and its health are my livelihood. Something like crabs would be bad enough. But Herpes or HIV? Game over, man.
20. I have probably taken several thousand virginities in my day. The funny thing is more guys have probably lied to me about having NOT been virgins than have outright told me they’ve never done it before. There’s no shame in it. If I knew you were a virgin, I would have made an extra effort to make it special and meaningful. Besides, first timer guys are cute and a little fetish of mine; I like to think that I’ll always be a nice memory some boy carries with him, no matter where he goes or who he loves after me.
There you go, 20 things that are sorta dirty secrets about escorts and escorting! Thanks for reading.
(That said, it is worth skipping the stupid questions to look for the interesting, non-stupid ones.)
