How to be a feminist and a hobbyist?

Was having a debate with a buddy...

He told me that to partake in the hobby was to be an active participant in the exploitation of women. Which, oddly enough, he was OK with. What he was NOT OK with was the fact I considered myself a feminist while hobbying. He found those two concepts incompatible. Either a feminist or a hobbyist. Not both.

I tried to explain that only if he considered sex to be shameful and wrong could my part in the hobby be defined as exploitative. Only if sexual activity is done TO someone and not WITH someone.

I also tried to explain that my take on feminism is the complete rejection of gender based judgements of actions, thoughts or attitudes. It has nothing to do with putting women above men. It simply is me disregarding double standards.

Anyway, we agreed to disagree. But I am right. And he is wrong.

What do the rest of you think? Is it possible to be a hobbyist and a feminist at the same time?

The hobby has let me be my own boss; let me determine my schedule and find balance with my various interests.

For a woman with younger children, it's a very nice lifestyle. A smart provider (who saves) can always afford to take a day off when a child is sick, or to go along on a field trip or help with a class party. And there's no boss/manager with whom she has to ok the days off.

For a woman without children, she can book a tour to any city she has always wanted to visit and most likely make it a working vacation.

I think that for the right type of woman, providing is quite empowering.

You are right sir. Simple as that.

Deep debate, it's as simple as we get laid, they get paid. Would this convo even happen with your friend if you were "hypothetically" paying a guy to ram you up the ass? I think not. In a sense, your friends viewpoint is a bit sexist.

Power to the pussy! Burn bras and what not! Ole Darkey loves the ladies!

Lol @ Darkey! Hahaha

OP, this has been one of the best things to happen to me AND my family. I went back to nursing full time this year but if it wasn't for the three or four appts I take per week, I'd be in way over my head financially at this point. I live in a nice area as a single mom and that's not easy to do. I'm very happy that I'm able to live in a great school district, afford sports and still have time to spend with my kids.

I could definitely get by without providing but my kids are the ones who would suffer since their activities take up almost all of my extra income. I'd also have to work extra shifts so I'd end up seeing them less. I'm very lucky to have found providing even though at the time it wasn't under the best circumstances.

There are two different types of people in the hobby. Those who prey on the weaknesses of others and exploit their desperation. And those who don't. That is the divide between you and your friend.

There are two different types of people in the hobby. Those who prey on the weaknesses of others and exploit their desperation. And those who don't. Originally Posted by thathottnurse

Nurse, very well said. I will use this quote in the future.

Thanks, Luke

There are two different types of people in the hobby. Those who prey on the weaknesses of others and exploit their desperation. And those who don't. Originally Posted by thathottnurse

+1,000
Very, very well said. Thank you, THN!

There are two different types of people in the hobby. Those who prey on the weaknesses of others and exploit their desperation. And those who don't. That is the divide between you and your friend. Originally Posted by thathottnurse

Very deep and well said my sexy temptress

I think the whole "feminist" thing is a crock, stemming from the 70's bra burning era. Yep, I said it.

BUT, before you lambaste me, my credo is to treat EVERYONE in life equally, and with respect and kindness. I open the door for men, women and children alike, I assist people REGARDLESS of gender, status in life, religious persuasion, ethnicity, or political beliefs. I base pay grades/employment offers on job function and experience, not the gender of the candidate. The manner in which they do or don't return this simplest, cost free courtesy of life does not impact the way I treat them, although I'll admit sometimes it's tough not to factor that in.

So, hobby life or not, that shouldn't be the deciding factor on how we treat one another. Sadly, that's not the case...

Anyway, we agreed to disagree. But I am right. And he is wrong.

What do the rest of you think? Is it possible to be a hobbyist and a feminist at the same time? Originally Posted by sirliamscross

Sounds like you've already made up your mind here. Such an odd question, though, as the answer is only as complicated as you feel you need to make it. I'd be curious to know by what definition you're considering yourself a feminist. It runs quite the gamut.

I've said what my version of feminism is. The outright rejection of all gender based double standards and the treatment that accompanies it.

An example: Let's say you have a guy friend who meets a girl at a bar. He tells you that 10 min later, she is giving him a blowjob in his car in the parking lot. What are your assumptions about the personality of the guy vs. your assumptions of the personality of the girl? What if the girl was your friend instead of the guy? Would you react the same as if it was the guy telling you the story?

Granted, eccie may be a more liberated sexual environment, but most people would assume he was a "ladies man" or "smooth" and most people, hearing the story as presented would assume she wasa "whore" or "slut". Those are just terms designed to shame a woman for embracing her sexual nature.

Billy Babbitt has it right (it doesn't matter if he likes the title "feminist" as long as he supports the agenda). Equal treatment. Regardless of gender. Stop shaming people who want to fuck.

I have made up my mind, in fact. But I am often presented with facts that contradict my opinions. And then I change my mind accordingly. I've not heard any reason to change my view that, yes, I can be a feminist and a hobbyist. But I'm still listening.

But, hey... maybe I'm just looking for someone to help me justify my behavior. I hate it when people point out that I may be a hypocrite. As much as I disagreed with my friend, I admit it made me think twice.

I wrote way too much on this, so I leave it simply:

Remove gender from the equation and you get equality in exploitation. Enjoy your "feminism".

Edit: Had to add quotes. Can't let it slide.

Was having a debate with a buddy...

He told me that to partake in the hobby was to be an active participant in the exploitation of women. Originally Posted by sirliamscross

Yes and No.

1. Yes if the woman is being forced by a pimp to be in this business.

2. No if the woman is independent and partaking in this of her own free will.

What are the chances that you are indeed an active participant in the exploitation & violation of women? It will depend upon the number of women you see that fit the criteria #1.

You will however be a passive participant even if you see only women who fits criteria #2.