If its May, it must be reparations again

the_real_Barleycorn's Avatar
Okay they're talking about reparations again. Maybe we should give them all a million dollars so they shut up about it forever?
How about it? One million dollars for every black person in the country? Of course, there are some conditions;

If your family came to this country after 1866, then you get nothing.
They claim that records make it hard to track lineage to antebellum times. Okay, a negative record track to show that yo GGgrandma actually come from Haiti and not Alabama.
You only get paid if your family members were slaves in the USA and not some shit hole country like Mexico.
Lets take the KKK standard and find out how black you are. Better than the one drop rule, we can use DNA to adjust the percentage of the million dollars.

Then there are fees; people died getting your ancestors their freedom. Their suffering has to be compensated for. So, a portion of that million will have to go to the "liberator" tax.

Oh, if your net worth is over $5 million, you don't qualify. Call it the Oprah exception.

You, the person protesting and agitating for reparations may not receive any. This is for your posterity and not for you. A very European idea.

You also have to sign a binding statement that the bellyaching stops today and does not begin again. The debt to black Americans will be considered to be paid in full.

We'll talk to Native Americans, Asians, and the Irish about their own claims.