Is the juice worth the squeeze?

So, let me first saying that this is a discussion on the macro. This is not a comment on the micro. Put another way, this is a discussion of the hobby itself and where it is versus the enjoyment of any one encounter with any one person.

I have been hobbying for over a decade. It could be said that I hobby more than some and less than others. There is nothing memorable about me. I have written reviews. I have shared and received data. I have hobbied locally. I have hobbied throughout the U.S., Canada and overseas. I have memorable experiences to share and scary experiences to share.

With the latest situation in Cedar Rapids, IA, it has brought forth a thought that I have been having. Is this all worth it? As I said before, this is not a discussion of whether any individual situation is worth the donation. This is not a discussion of whether the ladies on this board are wonderful. This is a discussion of whether, the hobby itself is worth it.

We invest a considerable amount of researching and reviewing. We spend time chatting with friends. Many of us have situations at home, that we avoid addressing because the hobby allows us an "out". For some of us, there is a certain amount of guilt that surrounds our activities.

Boards like this provide some protection, but it is only some. There is nothing foolproof or concrete. I have been involved in numerous "verified" boards. They did not last. Either the person managing them left or the service providing it denied use for our 'type' of hobby.

We spend time avoiding Rip offs. We try to protect our fellow hobbyists but as know, none of us are experts on all things. No one person understands everything about IP (what can people learn about us from this board), legal issues (how can we protect ourselves if the worst happens) or heatlh (how can we prevent the very worst from happening).

Some of this may be about me. I know that some of you will reply and say that there are lovely and verified ladies on this board. But my thing has always been variety. I am not the type that has a regular. I had that in person life and well, look where I am. Maybe I would be better off in many ways if I just taught myself discipline and learned that I should just say, enough is enough ;-).

I have read a lot of retirement posts. The only thing that I have ever known to be true about the "going out of business" posts is that those people always come back. The ones that just quietly leave are the ones who truly retire.

Lastly, this is not a comment on the hobby or any of us as individuals. I don't regret my past actions as much as I question my further actions. This post is titled is the "juice worth the squeeze" not "OMG, what have I done?".

I hope that no one takes this personally. This is the only group where I can share this kind of conversation. This is not watercooler kind of talk. I look forward to replies.

S

The choice to hobby or not is very personal and often changes over time - and this, it seems, is true for both hobbyists and providers. As "home" situations evolve, as LE actions increase or decrease, as our businesses grow or decline, as the multitude of other outside factors affect us we consider changes. Sometimes we make no changes. Sometimes we hobby more...or less. Is the satisfaction you reap from hobbying worth the opportunity costs of hobbying? For me, today, the answer is "yes." Two weeks from now, maybe not. Only you can answer your question for your situation.

Whew... so much for light topics. This is the BIG question! To play or not to play....

For me, Bigh hits it on the head when he writes, "The choice to hobby or not is very personal and often changes over time - and this, it seems, is true for both hobbyists and providers." Definitely wisdom there.

Speaking only for myself, I started participating a few months ago, when I finally reached a point where the alternatives (flirting with the girls at the office, pornography, trips to the strip club and late nights with the cam girls) were no longer a real outlet. Sex at home was/is virtually non-existent, and being healthy, relatively young ,and unwilling to leave my SO or upset my otherwise happy home life, I've decided to seek "therapy" to address the issue.

The risks are considerable, and yeah, they scare me. (But those risks can be minimized by taking common sense precautions, like being a member of this board, carefully reviewing the information we exchange amongst each other, and finding good providers. But that's straying a little off topic.)

As with everything in life, it comes down to priorities. What it boils down to for me is that I see 1.) sex and 2.) physical intimacy with women as both crucial parts of a heterosexual male's basic human needs.

These are not on the same level as food, shelter and clothing, of course--which you will die without--but certainly in the next tier. Put another way, I began participating because my mental and physical well-being are disturbed by the celibate, monastic life. (If I'd wanted that, I would've been a monk.) I take the risk and play because I feel like it is necessary for my mind and body.

As Bigh predicted, though, my needs have changed somewhat as I've started to discover more. Occasional variety is great (and its been awesome and surprising to meet some of the beautiful, tremendous women who do this--I haven't had a bad encounter yet), but I've also found an ATF with whom I feel a connection. I can't predict what reason will keep me going or drive me away in the future, but for now, this is enough for me.

Quite a few of the ladies that retire have worked out a schedule with a few regulars that keep them fulfilled.

I can relate to what you are saying. My regular, who was about my age with a smoking hot body, retired and with the way things are variety is not the spice of life for me any more. My choice is to pick a provider that I really click with and am attracted to and fall off the grid. I have had some great times over the past 20 years and like you some really scary ones too. In my younger days I took risks with seeing providers I would never do again. The difference is there wasn't the focus on deterring hobbying then as there is now. As the risk increases my activities decrease. I have grown skeptical of a lot of what I read. This past week has been a prime example of what happens when reviews counter the common perception of the provider. Although neither review affects me it is one more straw on the camels back. The whole mess kind of reminds me of politics, the fastest way to disengage people is to make it unattractive. I would certainly be a candidate for working the deal out with a retiring provider given today's climate.

Quite a few of the ladies that retire have worked out a schedule with a few regulars that keep them fulfilled. Originally Posted by Marcus Aurelius

....so true...and I consider myself very fortunate (make that VERY FORTUNATE) because they keep me fulfilled. Once we learn each other's buttons it makes the entire experience so much more rewarding. Losing contact due to retirement can be a sad sad event