Please don't push the ladies' boundaries.

I've been marinating on this one for a while, so I'm just gonna come out and say it. I don't want this to come off like I'm being bitchy or complaining because I love the hobby and I love seeing men, although this particular behavior does cause overall dissonance amongst us.

There is easily a thousand legit providers in the DFW metroplex, each with varied and overlapping menus. Why is it that some hobbyists (notice I said some and not most or all) will pick the one thing a lady doesn't offer and try to force, coerce, or just plain badger her into doing it?

You want Greek? Go see a self proclaimed Greek freak or in the very least someone with numerous good Greek reviews.

You want BBFS? Go see a lady who is known to for that activity.

In the mood for deep throat? There are a few ladies well known for this talent.

The problem arises when you go to the bareback provider and try to ram your cock down her throat, or visit the deep throat queen and try to stick your bare dick up her ass!

My point is, how enjoyable can it possibly be to try to get a lady to do something you know she doesn't like?

Scenario one:
You're all cozy and naked on her bed, DFK, BBBJ, DATY, having a rip roaring time...you ask her if she would (insert activity you have never seen in her reviews or on her menu) she says no. But you only ask once, you accept no for an answer, you two keep the passion going and have a great session.

Scenario two:
You're all cozy and naked on her bed, DFK, BBBJ, DATY, having a rip roaring time...you ask her if she would (insert activity you have never seen in her reviews or on her menu) she says no. You ask again, she says no. You ask five minutes later, she says no. You maneuver yourself into a position to try to actually perform the unwanted menu item...

What the fuck dude? How much fun do you think this girl is having by this point in time? She's all tense, irritated as FUCK at you, her passion has turned to resentment and she can barely wait to get your ass out her door.

Don't be "scenario two" guy! He shows up at my incall maybe once every other month or three...harshes my mello...makes me want to take off for a whole week while I expell the resentment from my soul. All the while putting his ass on blast on every black list out there so hopefully ladies can avoid him.

I like "scenario one" guy! He thought he'd give it a try, no harm was done. We end up doing it like bunnies, I squirt so much we have to change the towel, we give each other so much pleasure it would be pointless to try to keep score. We can barely believe our hour is up just as he blows his second load, I was having so much fun with him that it never occurred to me to look at the clock until that very minute. Do you know why? Because he didn't spoil the mood by trying to get me to do something I clearly was not going to enjoy. I enjoyed my time with him immensely, I'm satisfied but practically horny for tomorrow already... I'm in a great mood and I love sex!

Ok, so do you see how that changed the entire session?

This was a long winded and possibly hard to follow post, but if just one "scenario two" guy has the little lightbulb go off over his head, it was all worth it!

I'm trying to put this as nicely as possible so the meaning isn't lost.

Milfy2002, you offer a service that is outside most people's "boundaries".

In doing that, you attract a certain type of hobbyist into your bedroom.

They might think they can do anything with you since you're so openly willing to do what many others aren't. Or they might think you will agree to it since you agree to do something many others won't.

I'm sorry but offering what you offer just makes you vulnerable to the type of guys who want to have their way regardless of risk or protest.

I'm not saying it's right or fair, but that's just how it is.

I can't speak for others, but I rarely get anyone who pushes my boundaries because my boundaries are quite clear.

Being that you have so many of these incidents that you have to "marinate" on it, maybe it's time to rethink the type of hobbyists that you're marketing yourself to.

It also seems like you are feeling the effects of being bombarded by people trying to take advantage of you. It sucks for anyone to feel that way. But the fact is that BBFS often translates to desperation or poor management in this word. It's a hunter vs. hunted game for barebackers and you're already setting yourself up as easy prey. Again, not saying it's right. Its just how it is.

Just my thoughts. Worth what you paid for them.

I hope you accept my feedback respectfully since that's how it's intended. Goodnight.

I gotta agree with this.

I'm trying to put this as nicely as possible so the meaning isn't lost.

Milfy2002, you offer a service that is outside most people's "boundaries".

In doing that, you attract a certain type of hobbyist into your bedroom.

They might think they can do anything with you since you're so openly willing to do what many others aren't. Or they might think you will agree to it since you agree to do something many others won't.

I'm sorry but offering what you offer just makes you vulnerable to the type of guys who want to have their way regardless of risk or protest.

I'm not saying it's right or fair, but that's just how it is.

I can't speak for others, but I rarely get anyone who pushes my boundaries because my boundaries are quite clear.

Being that you have so many of these incidents that you have to "marinate" on it, maybe it's time to rethink the type of hobbyists that you're marketing yourself to.

It also seems like you are feeling the effects of being bombarded by people trying to take advantage of you. It sucks for anyone to feel that way. But the fact is that BBFS often translates to desperation or poor management in this word. It's a hunter vs. hunted game for barebackers and you're already setting yourself up as easy prey. Again, not saying it's right. Its just how it is.

Just my thoughts. Worth what you paid for them.

I hope you accept my feedback respectfully since that's how it's intended. Goodnight. Originally Posted by thathottnurse

Yep. THN nailed it!

Some men on here are intent on pushing boundaries. Many providers who aren't BBF* friendly, still get requests for that service. And the problem is exacerbated when some dudes aren't okay with "inquiring" just once, but insist on pressuring and coercing a provider to "change her mind."

I don't offer BBF* though I am Greek friendly. Many providers find Greek to be repugnant or for various other reasons have no interest in engaging in that activity. Yet I hear countless stories about hobbyists, asking the same provider over and over to indulge in Greek even after hearing NO more than enough times. (Pro tip: the first "no" is enough!)

The reality is, some dudes on here are either a) too lazy to do proper research or b) invested in the "thrills" of being sexually coercive.

I'm trying to put this as nicely as possible so the meaning isn't lost.

Milfy2002, you offer a service that is outside most people's "boundaries".
Originally Posted by thathottnurse

Wow! Have you read any posts about men trying to coerce ladies into bbfs? Was there something in their offering that prompted that? Have you been badgered about bbfs? What did you do to invite that?

Did you read the scenarios where one person asked and accepted "no" while the other persisted?

smh

...But the fact is that BBFS often translates to desperation or poor management in this word. It's a hunter vs. hunted game for barebackers and you're already setting yourself up as easy prey. Again, not saying it's right. Its just how it is.

Just my thoughts. Worth what you paid for them.

I hope you accept my feedback respectfully since that's how it's intended. Goodnight. Originally Posted by thathottnurse

Just because one service is offered doesn't automatically mean that a particular provider is willing to do other services out of the norm. Me being a "senerio one" type of guy, i always do my research on the women i see and if i'm interested in a particular service that is not listed or in her reviews then i do 1 of 2 things:
1. I move on to a provider that DOES do said activity,
or 2. Send a PM inquiring about a particular service/activity. That way everything is made clear before a session ever scheduled.
I will never understand the type of guy that will try to force or coerce a provider to do something they dont offer. There is always someone else who will.
But hey, that's the name of the game. In this line of work you have to be prepared for the occasional "senerio two" guy to show up. It sucks.

Some people have no reading comprehension. I said it happens to me about once every 2 or 3 months. Turn up your Beltone grandma, your selective hearing is acting up again!

I put this post up to try to help curb an unwanted behavior, yet still some "ladies" seem obsessed to use every single post I make on this board to take stabs at me.

I'm glad that there are providers that can deep throat, provide Greek every day of the week, and other assorted menu items that I have no interest in. I promise you I will not chase them around the board using every thread they start to bash them! We all like different things :-)

Now back to the subject at hand... Gentlemen, what is it that makes you persist in asking someone for something that they clearly don't offer? Is it that you don't realize how much it offends them? Do you just think because we get paid for our time that we're not really warranted to be treated like an equal? Is it in the heat of the moment and you just don't realize you're being such a clod?

Lena thanks for the feedback, I hadn't considered that the act of coercion was their turn on. Maybe they could seek out role playing sessions where a girl that offers the menu item acts like she doesn't want it and makes him work for it. It could work...

Wow! Have you read any posts about men trying to coerce ladies into bbfs? Was there something in their offering that prompted that? Have you been badgered about bbfs? What did you do to invite that?

Did you read the scenarios where one person asked and accepted "no" while the other persisted?

smh Originally Posted by saustin

Yes I read about them all the time. I don't get asked that often. I'm established as a provider who offers a safe and discreet GFE service. I can count on one hand in over three years the times I've been pushed too hard for services I don't offer. The hunters in this game know to pass me by because I am not the one.

All I did was respectfully explain my opinion to *someone who put it out there* why she might be having this problem so often. I was empathic and sincere. I honestly think if she appealed to a different kind of hobbyist, her experience might be very different. What's wrong with sharing that opinion?

Bottom line is that she brought this up in coed. She should be thankful the first reply was civil and respectful. It could have just as easily gone the other way.

Some people have no reading comprehension. I said it happens to me about once every 2 or 3 months. Turn up your Beltone grandma, your selective hearing is acting up again!

I put this post up to try to help curb an unwanted behavior, yet still some "ladies" seem obsessed to use every single post I make on this board to take stabs at me.

I'm glad that there are providers that can deep throat, provide Greek every day of the week, and other assorted menu items that I have no interest in. I promise you I will not chase them around the board using every thread they start to bash them! We all like different things :-)

Now back to the subject at hand... Gentlemen, what is it that makes you persist in asking someone for something that they clearly don't offer? Is it that you don't realize how much it offends them? Do you just think because we get paid for our time that we're not really warranted to be treated like an equal? Is it in the heat of the moment and you just don't realize you're being such a clod?

Lena thanks for the feedback, I hadn't considered that the act of coercion was their turn on. Maybe they could seek out role playing sessions where a girl that offers the menu item acts like she doesn't want it and makes him work for it. It could work... Originally Posted by milfy2002

I believe I read your post very clearly. Personally I find "once every other month" to be a lot. If I felt my boundaries being pushed so often I would start to wonder too. Which is why I offered you my feedback. Have a nice day.

Scenario two:
You're all cozy and naked on her bed, DFK, BBBJ, DATY, having a rip roaring time...you ask her if she would (insert activity you have never seen in her reviews or on her menu) she says no. You ask again, she says no. You ask five minutes later, she says no. You maneuver yourself into a position to try to actually perform the unwanted menu item...

What the fuck dude? How much fun do you think this girl is having by this point in time? She's all tense, irritated as FUCK at you, her passion has turned to resentment and she can barely wait to get your ass out her door. Originally Posted by milfy2002

Sorry; but the real problem is this type of person doesn't care about these posts, or your feelings, or about you, in actuality. You're paid to please him, and he doesn't care what you like or don't like, what you will or won't do, because he wants you to do what he wants and will try whatever it takes to get it.

This type of person is an inevitability in the hobby simply because no amount of screening or whatever can weed them all out. While VERY unfortunate, this is something every provider will have to deal with at some point I believe. It shouldn't be the case, because obviously no caring person would hope someone has to go through this; but it's just the nature of the hobby, life, etc.

Now back to the subject at hand... Gentlemen, what is it that makes you persist in asking someone for something that they clearly don't offer? Is it that you don't realize how much it offends them? Do you just think because we get paid for our time that we're not really warranted to be treated like an equal? Is it in the heat of the moment and you just don't realize you're being such a clod?

Lena thanks for the feedback, I hadn't considered that the act of coercion was their turn on. Maybe they could seek out role playing sessions where a girl that offers the menu item acts like she doesn't want it and makes him work for it. It could work...

These kind of methods of asking for information with regards to topics like this always perplex me. You're asking 'gentlemen' for their input, yet do you really think a 'gentlemen' is someone that would do this to/with you? No person that would do what you've described will reply to this, or even if they did it would most certainly not be sincere. Nor are they going to care about what is being said/asked of them.

Sure, these are generalities; but take a minute to really think if someone who doesn't care enough about what's going on with you to do what you're describing is actually going to change their ways based on what is being said here.

Wow! Have you read any posts about men trying to coerce ladies into bbfs? Was there something in their offering that prompted that? Have you been badgered about bbfs? What did you do to invite that?

Did you read the scenarios where one person asked and accepted "no" while the other persisted?

smh Originally Posted by saustin

Plenty of them... Ever since a few ladies started openly and privately offering bbfs a lot of us providers have been dealing with men attempting to bully us into providing those services.

Just because you can't see it in open threads does not mean it's not happening.

Some men on here are intent on pushing boundaries. Many providers who aren't BBF* friendly, still get requests for that service. And the problem is exacerbated when some dudes aren't okay with "inquiring" just once, but insist on pressuring and coercing a provider to "change her mind."

I don't offer BBF* though I am Greek friendly. Many providers find Greek to be repugnant or for various other reasons have no interest in engaging in that activity. Yet I hear countless stories about hobbyists, asking the same provider over and over to indulge in Greek even after hearing NO more than enough times. (Pro tip: the first "no" is enough!)

The reality is, some dudes on here are either a) too lazy to do proper research or b) invested in the "thrills" of being sexually coercive. Originally Posted by Lena Duvall

No means no and that should always be the end of it.

I don't think it's fair to say or imply that it's eccie specific. Some people are douchebags and will push boundaries in all walks of life.

It definitly makes sense to me.

No means 'not right now' and that should always be the end of it. Originally Posted by L.A.

FIFY.

No good deed goes unpunished ;-)