You Let Me Violate You......

The Upper Hand…..who really owns it?

Let me say….and I hope that all who reads this….understands that I am stating a position…..which is reflective of my personality at the moment. Yes….I always hold this “stance” emotionally….but have learned thru many wonderful techniques, to….present it in a way that is not only beneficial to me…..but also….not offensive to others.

Ok..here are the lyrics of a song that I hold dear….especially in this profession.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppOu3ogzL-M

you let me violate you, you let me desecrate you, you let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you
help me, i broke apart my insides, help me, i've got no soul to sell, help me, the only thing that works for me, help me get away from myself

i want to fuck you like an animal, i want to feel you from the inside, i want to fuck you like an animal, my whole existence is flawed, you get me closer to god

you make me perfect, help me think I’m somebody else, i want to fuck you like an animal, i want to feel you from the inside., i want to fuck you like an animal, my whole existence is flawed

*************
I take the reins….yes…I do.
Not always….but when the desire occurs…..so, this is my attitude……most of the time (what is presented in this song). However…..do I share this depth with everyone? NO.

I would only think that other providers feel this same way. We share our true selves with those we choose. Otherwise…..you guys are just a number.

Be blessed if you are one of the few…..(I have many clients that have achieved the status…..of a FEW GOOD MEN). It is the rewarding part of this occupation.

I state my case. Bring it on….my friends…..

TT

Ohhh my....Nine Inch Nails-flash backs to clubbing days in Lower Greenville....I think 1995

here is another recent song like it maybe 5 years ago...LOL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKX8v...eature=related

Great post. I wish I could fool myself into thinking I had the upper hand in any relationship, of any sort, that I have ever had with a woman.....whether it lasted 10 minutes or 10 years. I guess if I ever did have the upper hand, it was probably because I wasn't trying to have the upper hand.

Nine Inch Nails....used to date a girl had a NIN tat on the back of her neck. Her little secret, you couldn't see it unless she wore her hair up.

That is a NIN song isn't it? Has it been that long?? If I recall I think they also had a song entitled "Reptile" as well....

They played that at the church camp dance when I was young. Fun church.

TT

Thought provoking post.
I respond to you from my deep/sensitive nature.

You mention your post was reflective of your personality at the moment. I gather something deeper is on your heart and mind for you to share publicly. I appreciate you chose to share with not just your chosen FEW GOOD MEN.

I was not familiar with the song from which you posted the lyrics. Thanks for the youtube link. (I'm not very hip n cool. What can I say)? I am familiar with the song Shep posted and is a great dancing song WOO HOO Thanks Shep for allowing me to break out and dance for a moment.

Back to the lyrics and upper hand. I don't see it as having the upper hand. Although I appreciate your viewpoint. I see it as an internal journey with which we struggle and embrace.

We all have our Mask on in public. The face we want to show the world. Sometimes we are compelled, for whatever reason, to take the mask off and expose our inner core. Hence, I relate to the lyric in that song... 'My existence is flawed'.....
In doing so (taking mask off) we risk rejection. Therefore, only a select few know our true identity as a flawed human being. We bond and feel accepted with those people we find a connection with and trust with the knowledge of our broken inside. Our flaws. Then we don't feel the need to have the upper hand.

I also relate to the lyric in that song...'You can have my isolation, you can have the hate that it brings'...
I tend to isolate when I'm feeling shame. Don't want to risk my heart and share my true pain or emptiness. I might be rejected. Too painful. Isolation does bring self hate. Hence the lyric...'help me' and 'help me get away from myself'.
We can't be helped or get away from ourself in isolation. We crave acceptance and the most important is self acceptance. (which is one of my struggles). When I'm wearing my mask, you won't see it. When I choose to take it off with those I trust, I am helped.
When we share with trusted few (our inner, real self)...It brings us to they lyric...'you get me closer to God' and 'help me'.
We do life best with people in whom we can truly share our inside. We feel our life is validated. We are free to be who we are...

I think no one has the upper hand. We present to the world like we have the upper hand. Internally I think we are insecure that someone may find out we do not have the upper hand. Like we already know and believe.

Your post just hit a nerve with me today. Thanks again for sharing in post.
Love,
Emily

Emily that is a very great post. I followed their music and Trent Rezner, (the singer) wants people to use his music as art for you to interpret it however you will if I remember correctly, I had always liked the music that makes me think, as well as sounds good. Very awsome, insightful post...

Emily, thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. As I read your post, it comforts me to know that I am not alone, having moments of contemplation about the BIZ.....the emotions it brings.....basically....the GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY.

I was moved by what you wrote and appreciate your time and the extremely well thought out response.

Love ya,
T