How to install a redneck home security system

HOW TO INSTALL A REDNECK HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14-16 men's work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3. Put 4 giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that says:

Bubba,

Me, Marcel, Donnie Ray and Jimmy Earl went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside. Be right back!

~ Cooter

...big assumptions...burglars can read...and rednecks can write, legibly...

and that you can buy ammo right now, well at least not handgun.

But it did get a chuckle out of me.

And where's SNL with a funny redneck picture for us??

one for the car too





fire alarm

I would have beaten snl's post, buttttttttttttttttt
edit: darn this on same page I found all same pic's she posted but I got ta dreaming
now that's a Deere

Funny stuff!

I would have beaten snl's post, buttttttttttttttttt
edit: darn this on same page I found all same pic's she posted but I got ta dreaming
now that's a Deere Originally Posted by offshoredrilling

Hey! That kind of reminds me of Lonesome's ride!

What's so funny about my home security system? It works very well, the pit bulls do the trick especially if they are trained to catch by the scrotum LMAO. The next best option is to turn a killer stud loose in the yard. If you choose the second option you don't have to buy dog food, the stud will help his own food grow. Just be sure he's in the back yard as you make a mad dash for the front gate. The first option works well also, it's just painful teaching the pits to catch by the scrotum, YEOW!!!!!!!!!

Hey! That kind of reminds me of Lonesome's ride! Originally Posted by Ginger Doll

It's my brother's ride. I dunno how it got on here.

one for the car too





Originally Posted by Sweet N Little

Why are you making fun of my dogs? That is just not right ...

...and rednecks can write, legibly... Originally Posted by giteneny

Last I checked, this here redneck, white trash, hayseed, hillbilly could write about as good (some of you will say I should have used well instead of good; I use good) as anybody on this site. I even know the difference between your and you're.

Well a good redneck alarm system for me would include.... plenty of signs around the property,




A few big German Shepherds!






And the last line of defense would be one of these...

Lol, CPT Savajo! Great minds, apparently, do think alike!

I have these:

Wish I could find a picture of the Hillbilly Home Security t-shirt I saw in a store in KY.
It had an old mountain house with a yard full of kids and dogs. There were guns sticking out the windows. The youngest kid had a slingshot. Somebody please post a picture of that shirt!