Proper Etiquette

I'm not necessarily new to the hobby but I do have limited experience and I have a few questions for both hobbyists and providers out there. Forgive me if there's another thread already out there, I wasn't able to find anything on a search.

During the first part of an appointment, I like to chat a bit and get to know who I am with, makes me feel more comfortable. Problem is I'm usually pretty nervous and can't think of anything to talk about, especially since I don't want to bring up anything that might offend.

What topics are ok to bring up when trying to get to know her? Can I ask her how long she's been doing this? How she got into it? Does she enjoy it? Is there anything about it that is particularly difficult? What about asking about her life outside the hobby? I consider myself a student of human nature and a person's motivations are absolutely fascinating to me. These are all things I genuinely have an interest in but am worried its too personal.

I recently read one of the most thorough and well written posts I've ever seen (http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=721735, props to SRM for the review) and the ROS got me thinking. I'm guessing it varies from provider to provider but when meeting someone for the first time, how can you tell what is ok and what is too personal?

Pretty much all of the topics you mention are off the table, at least for a nervous newbie.

If you really want to break the ice, find non-hobby topics of interest to both of you. I really love music, all kinds, and can easily get lost in such a discussion with a fellow music lover. Sports, travel, whatever...just stay away from religion, politics, and personal questions that might be construed as prying.

Be yourself ask her about things such as sports, does she play softball, who is her faviorite football team, hobbies such as does she like going to the rodeo, shoping for antiques in places like Burnee and West Texas. Traveling to Mexico for suba diving. By asking these question you are putting her at each and not talking about yoursel all the time.....

Ask her about cooking, eating at some Mom and Pop Resturants for Mexican and Cajun Food....Try not to grill her about the activities for this is a subject that she may want to stay away from until you get to know one another.....

Tell a few jokes make her relaxed and feel like a woman....Tell her how nice she looks and that you find her very attractive....

TexasCowboy

I myself am intrigued by how someone might have gotten into hobby world. But I stay out of the personal questions, as I don't like provider asking me personal questions Either.

I stick to non-personal questions. Usual like to start with compliments, if she is indeed complimentary worthy on whatever it is looks good. Like Tinman and TC said, jokes or non-personal stuff is best way to break ice. If you do some research on provider, you will find some topics.

Heed the advice given above rn5590.
Asking personal info such as how she got in the business, does she like it, etc. will make her very uncomfortable, don't go there.
If you do your homework, as Incognito44 said, you will find topics to break the ice.

If you have educated yourself about the lady and it shows, she will be flattered.
For example, if she likes pink roses, bring her pink roses. Some ladies prefer living plants over flowers. Some may like chocolates. Find out what she likes. Most providers readily give this information on their sites.

We all get nervous on the first meeting, but remember, any good provider really does want to please you and have a good time, so relax and enjoy the ride.

Treat her like the lady she is, and treat your time as a date.
Look up best first date questions via Google. That would at least give you some ideas.
I agree with the advice above. With that understanding, modify some of the questions in the link.

http://www.thecampuscompanion.com/20.../#.UXSax8u9KK0

Thanks guys for the great advice!

If you see the same girl several times and she likes you and trusts you, she'll volunteer all kinds of personal info about her without you asking. And the less you spill your guts about her here, the more she'll tell you. Maybe more than you want to know.

Read her Profile on her likes, dislikes, favorite things to eat, drink, etc.
it's a start.

I agree - do your homework - you'd be surprised how the little things make a good first impression and ease you right into conversation; for example I made an appointment with a lady who agreed to meet me at my place after I got home from the office; I researched her reviews and checked out her web site - in doing so, I noticed she liked Sake and pink roses. On the way home, I stopped and picked up several kinds of chilled Sake and a bundle of flowers mixed with pink roses; i put the fresh flowers in a vase on the coffee table in front of the sofa; and the Sake in the fridge. When she arrived, we said our hellos and hugged; then I walked toward the kitchen saying: "so, I gather you like Sake?" As I reached into the fridge to display the choices to her - she beamed and immediately we began talking about what kinds of Sake she liked, the Asian foods we preferred (Korean was my fave; hers Vietnamese); we kept talking as we took our Sake and sat on the sofa - of course she noticed the flowers and began talking about how much she liked pink roses, and types of flowers in general; we began sharing each others "favorites" list and before I knew it, we were taking about whatever; I was completely relaxed and so was she - the conversation just flowed - comfortably like we weren't strangers at all. We even talked about our childhoods, where we grew up, how many brothers and sisters we each had; nothing too personal, but definitely beyond name, rank, and serial number.

So, I wouldn't get hung up on "what should I say or not say"; just do a little homework before hand and set the stage for a comfortable relaxed enjoyable encounter - if you do, it will turn out to be just that; let the conversation flow naturally; if she doesn't want to take the conversation in a particular direction then she won't and you'll get a feel for it; and remember, it's a casual conversation, an interaction, not an interrogation - best of luck

well ill throw a ladies point of view in here


I have always noticed the best appointments are those with active flowing conversation. I agree asking me why I love being a provider how I became a provider etc. Will indeed make me nervous. Just ask general questions maybe something about local events or something fun youve done to break the ice

Weather and traffic are boring as hell to talk about but it may break the ice.

well ill throw a ladies point of view in here


I have always noticed the best appointments are those with active flowing conversation. I agree asking me why I love being a provider how I became a provider etc. Will indeed make me nervous. Just ask general questions maybe something about local events or something fun youve done to break the ice Originally Posted by Bridgette Ann

ditto---especially if the lady is from out of town....helping her get to know your city is a great icebreaker