how long is too long...

to go without sex?
Been 23 months since being intimate with the SO.
been 14 months since I saw a provider..

Everyone (including me) is generally up to offering you their sage advice so i will go another direction.

I say you are the only person that can answer that question. I know your situation. I have been out of sexual relationship with my SO LOTS longer than you and that is a death in the family sort of thing. I have been seeing providers for about 24 months...off and on.

The loss of intimacy can be a tragic thing. In my case it was 100% my choice and decision. I fucked everything up massively. I just got sooo mad about things that were building for years that i turned away from her completely. She was damned mad about it too. We did counseling things ...I realized I was a total dumb ass....I realized what I did... but too late. I just can't get back to truly wanting a sexual relationship anymore and while she says she can...shes lying to herself and me. We have so much together that neither of us would make it apart...and so we are staying together with sort of a don't ask don't tell policy. Odd deal....but then i am an odd guy.

I can only absolutely positively tell you that something changed 23 months ago and you really need to find out what it was ASAP if you wanna be together for the foreseeable future.

bipolar...a really well stated and honest reply and one that fits my situation almost perfectly. I just wanted to add my support for the good thoughts you offered.

It won't fix itself and with each day it will just get more difficult to discuss and repair...especially if there is anger involved.

Anytime you go without intimacy, it's too long! We're human........we're suppose to have intimacy! Without it, we cannot exist!

A week! much too long! lol

to go without sex?
Been 23 months since being intimate with the SO.
been 14 months since I saw a provider.. Originally Posted by ltblubouy

Until you feel the need to......

this issue started about 4 years back.
The SO said she was thinking about getting a divorce.
since we didn't havd $$ to run 2 households, she moved
to a seperate part of the house.
I would invite her out to dinner to discuss what the issues were.
on one of these occasions we both got too drunk, went home
and ended up in bed together.
The next 4 months were great. The SO fucked my brains out.
Best sex I ever had, most frequent sex I ever had.
After these 4 months are up, the SO tells me she has decided
to recommit to the marriage, but we can't have sex'like that' anymore.
from now on we have to make love.
(She later told me she was just using me for meaningless sex
those 4 months because she thought she was still going to go
through with the divorce. She said it made her feel really bad
for doing that, and because of that the sex was bad and not
to be done like that again)
Well, the first time we try to make love, she lays there, flat on her
back, arms tense by her side, looking at the ceiling. she won't kiss,
hug, nothing. just says 'talk to me' apparently I didn't use the correct
words because nothing happened... a couple hours later I just got up
and left.
this went on for about a year. occasionally there would be sex, but
emotional torture every time.
I figured out that for my sanity i needed to not put myself in that position
of going thru emotion hell everytime we tried to have sex. so the answer was
to not have sex with her anymore... I miss the sex, but I don't miss those horrible
emotionally draining sessions..

Gotta fucking have it. ONly air and water take precedence. I'd rather fuck than eat. And if I had to choose between sex and shelter, I'd buy another jacket.

Take her out again and get her drunk again.

Make it a new ritual.

8 hr's and its killing me.

I'm sorry...but it sounds like the love just isn't there anymore. I LOVE sex.....but if i'm not happy in my relationship I just can't force myself to be into it.

if you use email it seems, it can take longer.

About 30 minutes for me....

ltblubouy, Sex is a need. She is failing her responsibility as your wife. Take her to your local pastor for marriage counseling. When he hears it has been 23 months, he will be on her ass about that. ( Leave out the part about the hookers.)

I feel for you. I do not blame any married man for hobbying when is not getting any on the homefront.


Confucius says, He who lives in doghouse, soon find cat house.


Good luck with your dilemma. I think seeing a local escort regular can be therapeutic. At least, that is the rationalization that I use!

In my case, it wasn't a lack of love or intimacy, but massive disabilities and medical prblems. Touch and movement were very painful to her. I was going crazy with sexual frustration, snapping at people and doing stupid things. I decided to hobby. It helped the frustration, but every time I was with a provider, I bled a little on the inside. If you can patch things up with the SO, that will make you the happiest and most fulfilled.