Anal intercourse is for assholes...

Lol let's have some PUN!

I do enjoy a good sex joke... or any joke really.

Here's a few more to make you giggle...


Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use a lubricant.

I bought a box of condoms earlier today. The cashier asked if I'd like a bag. I said "nah, I'll just turn the lights off."

Not exactly a joke but...


I was visiting a city when I thought I would stop to visit one of my favorite ladies as I knew she was in town. I gave her a ring, told her how much I missed her and that I would like to stop by later.



Her reply: "I'm sorry but I don't want to see you. I think you're the ugliest man I've ever seen and I can't stand to look at you or even be near you. I'm sorry if this hurts you but I have to tell you how I feel. Don't ever contact me again."


My reply. "Ok, if that's the way you feel. By the way, How's Dad doing? "

I had dinner with Vanna White last night. Later we retired to her her hotel room for what she referred to as a "night cap". She went inside the restroom and came out wearing some off the charts sexy lingerie.

She hovered over me and asked, "What would you like to have right now more than anything in the entire world that's hot, moist and pink?"

I thought hard about it and answered, "A brisket from Franklins?"

I haven't seen her since. She must be a vegan..