Some would say it's vanilla for a woman to be submissive in the bedroom. So with this being the Other realm, I would encourage replies to this thread to be for the more extreme kinks that you like, but feel may frighten the partner your with.
So the question is, what is the submissive trigger that you do or a partner does that gets your motor racing.
To start this off, I like to spoon the woman I'm with and explore her body as I wish. All the while slowly coaxing her until she needs me commanding her to divulge her kinks and past acts that she fears my judgement of.