Honestly, the best thing to do IMO is to start an ISO thread where you share what details you're comfortable with sharing. That way, providers who offer the experiences you're looking for can reply or send you a PM.
Another option is to ask a provider you're interested in seeing
only if she states that she's open to menu related questions. So many potential clients wind up on DNS lists based on not making note or respecting each companion's etiquette preferences.
...where would be the best place to ask where to find a lady who does "______" . Thanks for your help.