Question for the ladies

I know, this whole subject of references is getting "beat to death" but Gabrielle's thread brings to light a more specific question for me. What constitutes a recent reference? The reason I ask is that due to the nature of my business, I probably won't have much opportunity to hobby for the next 8-12 weeks. I could probably satisfy the reference requirements now but what about when I emerge from "hobbying hibernation"?? Will my summertime meets be outdated by then?

In case the ladies are too nervous to respond or just sick of the subject, my sense is that the half life of a reference is about 3 months. You're probably good at about 3 months but at 6 months it gets pretty iffy for the provider to give it or or the new provider to accept it.

So what about those of us that can only manage two or three encounters a year? Not that I am not willing to revisit the fine ladies that I have already seen, but there's so many others that I wish to meet!! I signed up for Date-Check but there don't seem to be too many ladies using it.

I was also wondering what 'recent' meant and was told by a provider that for her its within a year.

My problem is that the providers don't remember me by name. (most don't ask for a name)

Can't use my phone # since they don't keep it which is a good thing. My screen name is too hard to remember or not kept. To get around the problem, I contacted the providers a few days before I started screening and asked if they would provide a reference, told them who would be contacting them, and reminded them who I was and the screening was quick and easy.

One provider said that she gives out nicknames to those of us who might need a reference in the future to make the process work better. Next time I see her I'll ask her to do that so she knows who I am when I need to screen again.

For myself I prefer a reference from someone you have seen in the last 3 months. However, I have met with clients who don't hobby much and has used references from a year ago. I would ask that it is best in that case to contact the reference your going to use, give them a heads up, and a refresher. (lets face it, don't take it personal but a year + is sometimes hard to remember who you are especially if it was just one encounter).

Does this rule apply to p411 or date check okays? Meaning if we don't have a recent okay or is simply having the previous okays and account sufficient?

Great topic

Funny thing, this whole reference issue.

I have gone through a whole series of thoughts about this.Years ago, when I hobby'ed in the 'cuse area, I never ran across someone asking for them, so once I decided to re-enter the hobby here, I was put off by that thought.

I at first felt, that, well..... if you want my $$, book the appointment. What's the BFD?

But, as I began to lurk around at the ending of ASPD, and moved over here.....I began to understand the real reason behind the reference issue.

I reconsidered because of one very real fact.....that it seems that the SP's who want a reference, are looking out for BOTH OF US.....because they need to feel secure enough to let one of us in the door, so that they can enjoy (hopefully) the session with us.....and, guys, correct me if I'm wrong...but isn't sexual intimacy far more enjoyable with a relaxed and interested partner than with a disinterested one????

For me, I have not developed references yet. I am working on that. I recently contacted a well reviewed lady, and she has responded kindly to me, and let me tell you, that was nice, to know that even without a specific reference, she is willing to work with me.

So, I've learned....the reference issue isn't necessarily about invasiveness......it's really about QUALITY.

We hobbyists are asking a lot of these ladies...we are asking them for their time, to be let into their home, and we are asking for permission to have a sexual intimacy with them. We ask a lot.

If we do our homework, research diligently, and don't let the wrong head control the process......well, at some point, for me at least.....I most likely will probably not hesitate to let the right provider know whatever they need to make them comfortable in allowing me to see them. Just makes sense, I guess.

Just my $.02.......



elg.....


BTW....thanks to Nita for a discussion months ago (on the old site) that helped me to begin to see things a little differently.....

PS...if this happened to go off topic a bit...sorry....

I'll throw my opinion on the subject, really it all comes down to trust if you cant trust her with a little personal information, then how can she trust you.
you would think that if the provider were to abuse your personal information I doubt she would be in business very long. I could be wrong. I am still new to this whole world, But I am enjoying it.

This is just a hunch. An infrequent hobbyist might be able to extend the "shelf life" of his good name a bit longer between appointments if he posts regularly (and constructively) on a board like this.

yes, make sure above all, your a go along with the flow guy, and especially do not have a alternate opinion. As far as breaking into this new, follow backpage everyday between rochester, syracuse and buffalo, and get familiar with who is who and who goes where, cross check them with ecom and reviews on here. Ginger 1989 is a good start, she is extremely comfortable and nice, sexy girl. Also there are rub places advertised on backpage, I have been established with those ladys for 15 years, can start there, again, if you follow backpage everyday, youll find what you need, common sense has to prevail.Its a skill you have to develope, at times youll get schooled a bit, but thats the price you pay. I only got online in February, and thank God, didnt have to start here, dont know how i ever survived the last twenty years without this . Call Tony at Elite, sure hell work with you, he never asked me for refrences. Good luck, it really doesnt have to be that hard, errr, imean, difficult..

Speaking for myself...

I have placed myself on the inactive list for about a year more or less, due to an unfortunate set of circumstances that had basically taken the wind right out of my sails. However, I have kept in touch with a few providers, and I have used them as references recently. And, I will also be seeing those very sweet kind ladies soon, and they know who they are. :-)

FYI... last I knew, Tony was stepping up in the business world and requiring references. But you would have to call Elite to confirm.

From all my experiences its a 3 to 6 month window, with 3 months usually being the more preferred option. Of course If there is a long standing repeat client relationship I don't think the time lapse would apply. I saw a provider once 2 years in between sessions but had met her several times before the 2 year lapse. But anywho 3 months always seems to be industry standard.

DAS
you have been so long you are like fine wine!

LT Providers usaully remember good people . IMHO

DAS
you have been so long you are like fine wine! Originally Posted by sunfish

At least I didn't turn to vinegar!