Why Some Men Have dogs (May not be Hoibby related)

ICU 812's Avatar
Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives


1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you
2. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad. They just think it’s interesting.
3. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.
4. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
5. A dog’s parents never visit.
6. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
7. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, “If I died, would you get another dog?”
8. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
9. You never have to wait for a dog; they’re ready to go 24 hours a day.
10. If a dog leaves, it won’t take half of your stuff.

To Test this theory:

Lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour.
Then open it and see who’s happy to see you.
Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives


1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you
2. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad. They just think it’s interesting.
3. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.
4. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
5. A dog’s parents never visit.
6. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
7. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, “If I died, would you get another dog?”
8. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
9. You never have to wait for a dog; they’re ready to go 24 hours a day.
10. If a dog leaves, it won’t take half of your stuff.

To Test this theory:

Lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour.
Then open it and see who’s happy to see you. Originally Posted by ICU 812

One of the few times that true things in life are VERY funny.
Alpine
I dunno, if I am out somewhere and pet another dog, when I get home, I can usually count on an evil eye from two of my three. The third one is too stoned to care - seriously, he acts like he is always stoned. When you call him, for example, you can almost see the hamster start to slowly run in the wheel until he gets up to speed. The cat tries to agitate him, he just stands there like nothing's happening. No worries, I'm coooool maaaaaan... Wonderful how they all have their own unique personalities.
Hell, I like dogs better than most people.
hotrix1's Avatar
I luvs mah dawgs. I luvs mah bitches. I jest prefur mah bitchez on all 4's whether they be the 2, or the 4-legged kind.
averageguy12367's Avatar
All true. However, my wife has never tried to hump my leg, chewed up my shoes, peed on my floor or couch, crapped on my floor or couch, tracked mud on everything, came home smelling like a skunk, or left dead animals on the porch. My wife performs certain acts that my dog won't unless I have peanut butter. (Don't go crazy, I would not do that to a dog)
Ripmany's Avatar
That don't call them BITCHES for nothing.
hotrix1's Avatar
All true. However, my wife has never tried to hump my leg, chewed up my shoes, peed on my floor or couch, crapped on my floor or couch, tracked mud on everything, came home smelling like a skunk, or left dead animals on the porch. My wife performs certain acts that my dog won't unless I have peanut butter. (Don't go crazy, I would not do that to a dog) Originally Posted by averageguy12367
Well fuuuuck me runnin'!!! I just peed a little from your retort. Reminded me of a fat bitch that wouldn't suck 'n fuck until she was fed. And she needed Creme Brulee'. I dumped that whore quick, but she sure knew how to blow a dick. I should've just learned how to coat my cock with a caramel candy crust, that would have solved the creme problem easy.

Wouldn't subject a dog to something that low.