Are you ready for the Ho-pocalypse?!

It seems that many fear the end is nigh with the plummeting cost of crude oil and the way that the stock market is reacting to the surplus. However, I don't care to actually discuss anything intellectual or political here (at least not in this thread).



So that being said, what if by cataclysmic events, the hobby market actually busts? Is your ho-pocalypse stockpile up to par?

I, for one, am beginning to prepare for the worst. Should Pink Friday happen soon, will I have enough MD 20/20 to get through the next week while I fiddle my whore thumbs trying to figure out how to pay my rent and my next subscription to the national Enquirer?



Akin to weathering a storm, it is pertinent that I and my fellow ladies of negotiable affections have our stockpiles and affairs in order to sit tight through the ho-pocalypse.

In order to determine my needs when prioritizing the essentials, I used my still-functioning pretty little head to google "Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs," [which has been collecting dust in the recesses of my hooker mind and filed under the wrong schema...damn ADD]! So, because we are all primitive and sexual beings here on the ICKS, I see no need to go further than the first level in his hierarchy (to hell with self esteem and self-actualization!).



The first level is biological and physiological needs, which according to Simply Psychology, includes air, food, drink, shelter, warmth, SEX, and sleep.

My stockpile essentials will be:

1. Air - Thanck baby Tebow that air is still free. Also, just to insure my future ability to breath, I will not be soliciting any throat punches during the storm.
2. Food - Skippy Peanut Butter Pretzel Bites
3. Drink - MD 20/20, Tang (so sayeth NASA), and water ('cause biology says so).
4. Shelter - I hear there's a safe house in The Heights for hookers. I'm still working on this one in case they are at capacity during the ho-pocalypse.
5. Warmth - I'm thinking Dorthy's boobies and Katrina's ass should be warmth enough.
6. SEX (not to be confused with celibacy) - lube; several hitachi magic wands; toys; vibrators; a couple of crates of batteries; condoms for my toys and strap-ons; sewing kit, in case the harness needs mending; a couple of barrels of toy cleaner.
7. Sleep - I'm a ho,' so this should be self-explanatory

If I have forgotten anything, please be a dear and let me know. What other items should a lady start collecting to get through the ho-pocalypse?

And gentlemen, or those of the XY chromosome persuasion, how will you handle your own unique survival needs during the ho-pocalypse?

I really am looking for this to be a resource for all to turn to when the time comes. With proper planning, no one should be skeert of the tough times to come.


Yours truly and with a grain of salt,

Marie

I'm stockpiling Jameson, tater tots, chihuahuas, and high heels.

Hershey Bars and fishnet stockings might also come in handy as trade goods during the ho-pocalypse, YM.

Excellent ideas, Fancy. I can't believe I totally overlooked chihuahuas!

I'm adding Almond Joy and Mounds as well to #2...cause some times you feel like a nut, sometimes...

a true ho-pocalypse would indeed suck.

however if you've ever browsed the crusty bottom dwelling sites (one in particular) I doubt anyone has enough to take all ho's down or keep 'em down.

Beans, rice, fuel for my Colemans...maybe some olive oil....ready.

Oops, almost forgot ... couple cases ammo.

Beans, rice, fuel for my Colemans...maybe some olive oil....ready.

Oops, almost forgot ... couple cases ammo. Originally Posted by Don T. Lukbak

No, silly, you're thinking ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE. Different movie.

Although, in a pinch, olive oil could be used with Greek...

So is the olive oil multipurpose?

Chihuahuas are multi-purpose as well......ijs

Don't mess with wee woofs. Someday they may be all that stand between you and a starving zombie ho hunting for your winky.

Very funny, As a F-tard I will be looking for cheap blowjobs during the Ho-pokalypse. And eating lots of Popeyes. But I do that anyway

Bottled Water / Food - $1,000
Guns / Ammo - $30,000

Life Size Whore Doll to get me through the Ho-Pocalypse - PRICELESS!!!

Hahaha

It seems that many fear the end is nigh with the plummeting cost of crude oil and the way that the stock market is reacting to the surplus. However, I don't care to actually discuss anything intellectual or political here (at least not in this thread).



So that being said, what if by cataclysmic events, the hobby market actually busts? Is your ho-pocalypse stockpile up to par?

I, for one, am beginning to prepare for the worst. Should Pink Friday happen soon, will I have enough MD 20/20 to get through the next week while I fiddle my whore thumbs trying to figure out how to pay my rent and my next subscription to the national Enquirer?



Akin to weathering a storm, it is pertinent that I and my fellow ladies of negotiable affections have our stockpiles and affairs in order to sit tight through the ho-pocalypse.

In order to determine my needs when prioritizing the essentials, I used my still-functioning pretty little head to google "Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs," [which has been collecting dust in the recesses of my hooker mind and filed under the wrong schema...damn ADD]! So, because we are all primitive and sexual beings here on the ICKS, I see no need to go further than the first level in his hierarchy (to hell with self esteem and self-actualization!).



The first level is biological and physiological needs, which according to Simply Psychology, includes air, food, drink, shelter, warmth, SEX, and sleep.

My stockpile essentials will be:

1. Air - Thanck baby Tebow that air is still free. Also, just to insure my future ability to breath, I will not be soliciting any throat punches during the storm.
2. Food - Skippy Peanut Butter Pretzel Bites
3. Drink - MD 20/20, Tang (so sayeth NASA), and water ('cause biology says so).
4. Shelter - I hear there's a safe house in The Heights for hookers. I'm still working on this one in case they are at capacity during the ho-pocalypse.
5. Warmth - I'm thinking Dorthy's boobies and Katrina's ass should be warmth enough.
6. SEX (not to be confused with celibacy) - lube; several hitachi magic wands; toys; vibrators; a couple of crates of batteries; condoms for my toys and strap-ons; sewing kit, in case the harness needs mending; a couple of barrels of toy cleaner.
7. Sleep - I'm a ho,' so this should be self-explanatory

If I have forgotten anything, please be a dear and let me know. What other items should a lady start collecting to get through the ho-pocalypse?

And gentlemen, or those of the XY chromosome persuasion, how will you handle your own unique survival needs during the ho-pocalypse?

I really am looking for this to be a resource for all to turn to when the time comes. With proper planning, no one should be skeert of the tough times to come.


Yours truly and with a grain of salt,

Marie Originally Posted by YummyMarie

It's Alive!!! A simple question becomes this!!

Times are slow. Oil prices are down and providers keep raising their rates. I recently saw a couple of self reviews, in an attempt to stir up some business. Providers are posting rates of $$$$, but run specials for $$50. Just lower your rates until times are better. $$ or $$50 is way better than $000.00. A certain Lady that recently left this site still has a Showcase on P411 and raised her her already GPS rate by 50%.

Please explain why fewer available Hobby funds = Increased rates for Providers. When the Feds want to stimulate the economy, they lower interest rates, not raise them.

Gum....


Lots of gum...

Me like gum........


( also little nervous dog burritos )

And for that one special hooktard, access to my underground tank of wine.

5. Warmth - I'm thinking Dorthy's boobies and Katrina's ass should be warmth enough. Originally Posted by YummyMarie

Katrina's ass has kept me warm on many occasions