Question for the Community

A provider visited with me yesterday and after our time together she told me about all of her problems on the legal side of her life. She needed to raise 5000 for her defense and only had a few days to do it. With current bookings she was not going to make the legal fee. I offered to donate to her cause and wrote a check to her lawyer. (I did not want to give her cash) I had one stipulation that was for the amount written she would spend the day with me on Saturday (today). I called her at noon and she said "Hi baby I'll call you back" It's now approaching 4:00 PM i have tried to call her but her mail box is full. My question is: Should I put a stop payment on the check, or check it off to a lesson learned?

She didn't keep up her end of the bargain. Why should that be your loss? I would put a stop payment on it.

STOP PAYMENT IMMEDIATELY!!!

You can always write another check if she holds up her end of the deal!

I have seen this kind of thing happen time after time! She may have a reasonable excuse for not calling you back yet....but.....for every time I have heard that a lady honored a deal where she was given money in advance for "play time at a later date" I have heard 50 that didn't work!!

As I have said probably a 1000 times.....consider money you give to a lady for anything other than services rendered (now...not in the future) a gift because the likelyhood you will ever see it again is nill! If you happen to get it back.....consider is a bonus!!

It is a shame for the ladies that are honest and do make good on their deals. Unfortunately it has been my experience those ladies are far and few between.

Thank you both. I received a text telling me that she will call within an hour. I'll wait to stop payment until then. Will let the community know when I know.

<<< Agrees with Allie & Bubba... don't wait the hour... do it quickly. If she has a legitimate reason, reissue the check.

OMG!
Sorry, dude!!

I could be wrong on this one, but I'm usually not in cases like this. She's NOT going to hold up her end of the bargain. You need to call the bank NOW and stop payment. Sure, it'll cost you a little, but it'll be worth it in the long run.

Guys should NEVER NEVER NEVER loan that kind of money. I know some of you like to think you're helping the lady, but seriously if she knew she had those bills coming up she should've been working and saving.

I know sometimes things happen and the lady has to ask for help (I've done it), but she should ALWAYS keep up her end and make it good (I kept my word).

There are laws against stopping paymnet on check, and you wrote one to a lawyer??

If you're gonna do that, and ( I have a weak spot for a pretty girl with a sad story too) and we all know some of us guys do it .....give it as a gift no matter what the agreement (mentally) and this way if she does scratch your back its a nice surprise and when she doesn't. No hard feelings. A kind of acceptance. Especially in the land of make believe and dreams. ( Hobbying )

Kind like loaning family money. This thinking saves me a big head ache. And if you disagree and aren't willing to lose it dont do it LOL.

and you gave her a check with all your personal info ( not smart, and a paper trail to you and her. So you dont want to piss her off either. ) Curious to see how this works out.

Things come up, hopefully it's one of those things.

In the old days we would call that a tuition payment in the School of Hard Knocks.

I did make the check out to her lawyer. Not her. And he is a lawyer. He will deposit it If she has brought it to him. It has not cleared yet and probably won't until Monday. I have a day. I am not worried about my info being on the check...Hell it was out-call. She knows where I live. I tend to agree with Cute Old Guy. Lesson learned. I did get a text "Sorry baby can we reschedule for tomorrow?"

I did make the check out to her lawyer. Not her. And he is a lawyer. He will deposit it If she has brought it to him. It has not cleared yet and probably won't until Monday. I have a day. I am not worried about my info being on the check...Hell it was out-call. She knows where I live. I tend to agree with Cute Old Guy. Lesson learned. I did get a text "Sorry baby can we reschedule for tomorrow?" Originally Posted by Smokes

It seems to me like she is purposely trying to have you think she is going to follow through...by keeping in contact to string you along.
She's probably already anticipating that if you don't at least hear from her, you may do something along the lines of stopping the payment...
Sounds pretty sketchy to me.
Again, I'm sorry you have found yourself in this situation...Some girls(just like some men do for you guys) do their best to give the rest of us a bad name...
and Hope it works out.

This is a horrible situation to be in and I am sorry you are in it. A part of me says "yes stop payment on the check" but then I would worry about the questions that the lawyer (if it is an actual lawyer) might ask. The biggest questions being like "why did you write this check?" and "Why did you stop payment?" These can be tricky questions because even though the verbal contract was violated and therefore your right to get the payment back is clear how could you answer these questions with out making trouble for yourself? I hate to agree that this may end up being a payment for a lesson learned. I do hope it all works out for you in the long run.

Having slept on it, I have decided to (as COG said), " call that a tuition payment in the School of Hard Knocks."

You're seriously going to let 5 grand go and chalk it up as to a lesson learned? You must be a wealthy man and not in need of that money. I would still stop payment on it, but its your life and your money.

WOW, I'm amazed at not only what some ladies will do, but what you guys put up it and let go. I could never take advantage of someone like that nor would I want to be friends with someone who could do that.