Your definition please: Hobby Hubby?

I am always too inquisitive for my own good - but, I am curious how others define this 'term/role/relationship' :-)

After Whisper's post re: a 'couples' get together, I mentioned the term 'HH' to a gentleman 'friend' and we did not share the same opinion, regarding its meaning. I then had a conversation w/ a fellow provider regarding this term and it's unwritten rules...and she suggested I inquire here.
So, like a cat, with too much curiosity for its own good, I am interested in others opinions or definitions. Especially since 'couples' or God-forbid(!!!) real feelings are discouraged from developing in this fantasy world.

Aphrodite

Providers are too dysfunctional to have a lasting relationship with, they have a tendency to go silent and run whenever things aren't just their way. So Hobby Hubby would be an oxymoron, emphasis on the moron.

OMG!!

You are SO right!!! Bless my lil blond head!

I am laughing at my own inability to have a relationship :-) Reflecting on how I actually married one (noted in the ASPD history books, before you were born!)lived w/ another for five years(happily retired both times....dang it) and now?

Do some men hang their hats at the doors once they meet a certain provider? Do many 'provider/hobbyists' have an understanding? Do guys feel put off knowing that a provider is involved with a guy from the boards as opposed to having a irl bf?

I've had the pleasure of being in a couple of long-term relationships with gentlemen Hobbyists, one lasting 5 years with an ECCIE member. He was a widower. I spent several nights a month at his house, several vacations throughout those years, many holidays, including Christmas. He was a generous fellow, a GOOD man, and you can't help but have emotions enter the picture after that long. We would still be "involved" had he not died in 2012. I think that would qualify him as my "Hobby Husband," and our liaison as a stable relationship, not in the least dysfunctional.

There is another wonderful fellow on here that I think highly of and have also been seeing for several years, but we haven't spent as much time together or been on a trip. I know he calls me and at least one other lovely lady his "Hobby Wives."

To me, a Hobby Husband is like your ATF, but someone you spend a considerable amount of time with on a regular basis, have gone out in public with more than once. He's shared details about his personal life, and you know details about his. You genuinely LIKE him, and aren't just going through the motions.

Providers are too dysfunctional to have a lasting relationship with, they have a tendency to go silent and run whenever things aren't just their way. So Hobby Hubby would be an oxymoron, emphasis on the moron. Originally Posted by lips in the hills

I've always wondered what motivates a guy to pursue a serious relationship with a woman who provides for a living.

Either he's dumb enough to think she'll quit just for him or he's just not that emotionally invested in her so he just doesn't give a shit what she's been doing or with whom she's been doing it.

I've found that some emotionally mature providers can make good friends but that's where the line is drawn.

So... The double standard applies? Men (hobbyists. ) are capable of meaningful/long term relationships... But, ALL providers are not. Thank you for clearing that up :-)

So... The double standard applies? Men (hobbyists. ) are capable of meaningful/long term relationships... But, ALL providers are not. Thank you for clearing that up :-) Originally Posted by Aphrodite

Most men here have spouses who are unaware of their hobby activities so the term meaningful doesn't really apply. I seriously doubt most were actively hobbying when they proposed to the woman of their dreams. Obviously those meaningful relationships drove them here. If a relationship based upon deception can be coined meaningful then you have a point. I realize that a few do have "open" relationships with partners who share their hobby activities.

That is still a far cry from pursuing a "serious meaningful" relationship with someone who comes home everyday with the smell of other men's jizz on her breath and hair or the residual scent of used condoms between her legs. Toothpaste and listerine doesn't help if she's a swallower and showers only clean externally.

I don't think that would be exactly true of all. But providers are used to suppressing their emotions, and faking their way thru stuff. Eventually it catches up with them. *Then see above post.*
I'm sure there is no shortage of guys unable to maintain a long term relationship, I think probably 85% on here are cheating currently.

Wow, as long as a lady cleans properly and thoroughly and isn't seeing a football team every day, sorry, you CANNOT detect such "scents." What a crass comment.

Codybeast, I know several happily married providers with husbands who are quite aware of what they do. At least two of them started out with the gent being a Hobbyist first. If a relationship ISN'T built on deception, why can't it be "meaningful?"

Wow, as long as a lady cleans properly and thoroughly and isn't seeing a football team every day, sorry, you CANNOT detect such "scents." What a crass comment.

Codybeast, I know several happily married providers with husbands who are quite aware of what they do. At least two of them started out with the gent being a Hobbyist first. If a relationship ISN'T built on deception, why can't it be "meaningful?" Originally Posted by Fancyinheels

I realize the comment was a bit crass but realistic regardless. Just as you can smell most herbs and spices on one's breath after they've "thoroughly cleaned" you can also smell a semen if it has been swallowed because the mouth isn't where the scent is originating from.
As far as the odor of used condoms I was thinking more along the lines of a woman living with a man so she will Not always be thoroughly cleaned out after a long day's work. You mentioned your situation was just so many visits per month. I'm sure that allowed plenty of time to "Prepare".

I seriously question the validity of your comment regarding knowing several happily married providers where the husband is perfectly happy with what she does.
Not saying I know it to be false. It simply doesn't register when I try to open my mind to the concept on any remotely romantic or intimate level.

Speaking for myself only. If I know you've just been fucking and sucking multiple guys right before seeing me you will never even get a glimpse of let alone own my heart. I will still be generous and kind but that is something else entirely.

You are assuming most providers to be high volume and swallowing copious amounts of cum, then, for that "semen smell" to linger? The natural acids in the stomach take care of liquid consumables pretty quickly, and a nice dose of good whiskey does wonders. If you could smell it, she JUST swallowed it, and that indicates she is overbooking if there isn't enough time between clients for the odor to dissipate.

If "cock breath" was easily detectable, a lot of horny housewives would be in real trouble for dallying with the mailman/gardener/pizza delivery boy/neighbors.

Any respectful provider will be studious in hygiene before consorting with HER man in any way.

We may not understand the relationships of other people, but we are not THEM. Some providers and their significant others make it work. Admittedly, most probably don't. I'm sure many men feel as you do, Cody. We companions are okay to ****, but not to actually get "romantic" with on a relationship level. It's pretty intimidating psychologically to men, and I know many providers who have given up and don't date at all, sadly.

Any respectful provider will be studious in hygiene before consorting with HER man in any way.


Originally Posted by Fancyinheels

+1

Most men here have spouses who are unaware of their hobby activities so the term meaningful doesn't really apply. I seriously doubt most were actively hobbying when they proposed to the woman of their dreams. Obviously those meaningful relationships drove them here. If a relationship based upon deception can be coined meaningful then you have a point. I realize that a few do have "open" relationships with partners who share their hobby activities.

That is still a far cry from pursuing a "serious meaningful" relationship with someone who comes home everyday with the smell of other men's jizz on her breath and hair or the residual scent of used condoms between her legs. Toothpaste and listerine doesn't help if she's a swallower and showers only clean externally. Originally Posted by Codybeast

Seriously, dude?...that's about rudest and craziest, not to mention inaccurate thing I've read on this board, EVER...

It's late, I've been drinking...I need to consider a fitting response. I'll be back...

Suddenly, I have a new found love for Whispers. Ijs.
Whispers, you are officially taken off the poster and have been replaced. Sorry.

In the spirit of full, disclosure...

I met my husband on ASPD, also...