Boyfriend and The Business. Can you have both ?

So many times I keep trying to convince myself that I can be successful in both my relationship at home and my relationships with the gentlemen hobbyist. I am not sure that its going to work? My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over two yrs. The journey walked is more than most could have concord in a 40 yr marriage. Not exaggerating , its true. However, this lifestyle has taken a real big toll on our diminishing hearts. I don't want to answer my own question , but maybe I just did. Any doctors of love out there that has a solution? Thanks

I can't imagine any guy having a problem with his sweetie slingin' tail when he's not home.



I think if you want a boyfriend, you should have one of those.

On the other hand, if you want to be "in the business", you should do that.

Decide which you want to keep, is what I'm saying.

Take a vacation from the hobby. Come back to stay in or close your account. So, give it some time, and see what happens.

I appreciate your honest search for an answer to your dilemma.

From my perspective, there is only one answer to your question and that is: impossible.

When you are a provider than you are like a rental car and belong to whoever wants you and has the time and money to purchase your time. You may quibble that you can choose whom to see, but that is still only quibbling.

Having a boyfriend means that you belong to him alone. If he doesn't mind sharing you with the world, then he really does not care that much for you. Conversely, if you don't mind seeing customers then you don't really care for him that much either.

It is your choice to make, but it doesn't seem like you are ready for that depth of commitment and that is okay too.

. . . Not everyone is cut out for only one person in their lives when there are so many tantalizing options out there beckoning to you!

My answer to your question is no. I've never dated while in the hobby, it's just something I can't do. I also wouldn't want to date someone who is willing to "share" me. This is an individual choice, you need to do what's best for you.

I think you can-- with the right partner. I know the macho thing for a guy is to beat on his chest and say "my woman" and not entertain the idea of her sleeping with other men. That is the stereotype. However, I do believe that there are a lot of guys out there who are secure with themselves who could handle their SO being a provider. I know that I wouldn't have a problem with my SO providing as long as two conditions are met. 1) I take priority when it comes to sex. If I want it that night, then no clients or at least we have sex before she takes appts. 2) She is tested regularly.

BTW, I think most women who are true professionals in terms of providing know how to separate business from pleasure. I applaud all the good providers who realize where to set the emotional boundaries. I think most women know where the line is. They can good sex with strangers but still be "all in" with the relationship with their SO. Having said that, for a provider to have an SO, it has to be open. He has to know and she can't hide it. If that is met, then I say yes-- you can have your cake and eat it too.

yes---there has to be a lot of trust and an open minded relationship helps

yes---there has to be a lot of trust and an open minded relationship helps Originally Posted by DallasRain

Dallas, not everyone is as lucky as you. I've been told that swinging couples have more of a grasp of P4P, because everyone knows sex is just a physical act, and not love.

Like I explained to a special new friend, love is something you have even if you couldn't lay a hand on one another. If you were physically unable to make love to a person, whatever would keep you there, that's love.

But with people who aren't of a more emotionally advanced mindset, insecurity is a big problem. Everyone wants to be the 'only one'. Sex work makes men feel like they aren't 'man enough'. He should be able to provide for you, and you should only consider this only as a last resort. Or a one time thing.

And you being the breadwinner challenges his manhood that much more. He will just argue with you just to see if he has the power to affect you. To make sure that being able to take care of yourself without him doesn't go to your head.

Honestly with some of these guys, it would be the same if you worked a corporate 9-5. As a single lady, it's hard enough when they don't know you're a Companion. I don't know what's more important to you, your financial goals or love, but unless you've find a more open minded partner, you might want to consider being single. I would set goals, have a plan to finance a non-sexwork goal, and have an exit strategy. He's not going to be satisfied until you guys are broke together, or you let him take care of you.

All the best, darling...

1) I take priority when it comes to sex. If I want it that night, then no clients or at least we have sex before she takes appts. Originally Posted by Cpalmson

Pimpcum first..........then daty for everybody........understandabl e. Cancel all your appointments today baby....tell them bubby wants to fuck today......

.....have an exit strategy. He's not going to be satisfied until you guys are broke together, or you let him take care of you. Originally Posted by Tiffani Jameson

Wow, just wow.

It can work. It will be difficult but relationships in real life are difficult, just look at the divorce rates. There has to be a honest discussion as to where the relationship is going. Both parties need to be on board and communicate their needs and expectations. There can be no temper tantrums, pouting, act out, being a general dick weed by either party.

how bout when the married guy creates a handle on eccie to see if his newly "utr" girlfriend/hooker is being "faithfull"...?

now that guy needs a beatdown..lol

I know that certain swinging couples purport to have "a better grasp" of P4P with glib rationalizations saying it only physical and not love.

I think that false belief just lulls one into a false sense of comfort.

After a while, you won't know what is physical and what is love because you cheapen love-making.

. . . You can't have it both ways, but you can convince yourself of most anything with a convenient set of beliefs. Sounds like you still have some serious soul searching to do on this issue. Maybe we all do.

Dallas, not everyone is as lucky as you. I've been told that swinging couples have more of a grasp of P4P, because everyone knows sex is just a physical act, and not love.

Like I explained to a special new friend, love is something you have even if you couldn't lay a hand on one another. If you were physically unable to make love to a person, whatever would keep you there, that's love.

But with people who aren't of a more emotionally advanced mindset, insecurity is a big problem. Everyone wants to be the 'only one'. Sex work makes men feel like they aren't 'man enough'. He should be able to provide for you, and you should only consider this only as a last resort. Or a one time thing.

And you being the breadwinner challenges his manhood that much more. He will just argue with you just to see if he has the power to affect you. To make sure that being able to take care of yourself without him doesn't go to your head.

Honestly with some of these guys, it would be the same if you worked a corporate 9-5. As a single lady, it's hard enough when they don't know you're a Companion. I don't know what's more important to you, your financial goals or love, but unless you've find a more open minded partner, you might want to consider being single. I would set goals, have a plan to finance a non-sexwork goal, and have an exit strategy. He's not going to be satisfied until you guys are broke together, or you let him take care of you.

All the best, darling... Originally Posted by Tiffani Jameson

If a provider wants a 'boyfriend', then she should be up-front honest with him about what she does. I would think that a boyfriend that hobby's should be a good choice, since he a;ready has a comprehension of what's going on.
Not every hobbyist could be a bf, I would think some will be too possesive.

Good luck finding real love while in the hobby....but you never know, he could be one of your clients!

isn't the whole point of being in a relationship with someone else is to love them enough to not want to fuck anyone else but them?

It is possible-difficult and will test you in every way-but yes, totally possible.