A girl is about to tie the knot, and is watching her mother bake biscuits
in the kitchen.
"Mom?" she asks, "How do you keep Dad so happy after all these years of marriage?" The mother promptly throws a wad of biscuit dough on the floor, hikes up her dress, and squats down, picking the dough up with her snatch.
"Practice this and when you can do it, I'll guarantee that your man will
be satisfied for the rest of his life," said her mother.
So the girl practiced and practiced until her wedding night. While her
anxious husband waited for her in the bed, she emerged wearing a sexy
negligee, carrying a can of biscuit dough.
She opened the can, threw the dough on the floor, lifted her negligee, and squatted over the dough. Expecting to only pick up the biscuit she had a very unexpected episode of gas, which made a thunderous growling sound.
Her husband startled, jumped from the bed and backed away.
"What's wrong, honey?" she asked.
He replied, " Shit woman!" as he stepped further away. "If that thing
growls like that for a biscuit, I sure as hell don't want to tease it with meat!