Best way to find out about menu items

Hello DC area hobbyists. I have a question related to services and menu items. I have seen several providers indicate that they hate being asked explicit questions in email or PM exchanges leading to an appointment. While some providers indicate their menu offerings in their showcases or on their websites, often this list is not provided (I note, by the way, that in San Antonio, it is normal for providers to provide menus, but not so much around here). Reading through reviews might provide some info, but sometimes yields nothing. I don't want to offend anyone by being too explicit in an email, but I think it is good for both provider and hobbyist to be clear on whether or not a certain service is offered so I don't waste my time or hers. So what is the best way to find out whether something is offered or not? Any suggestions, especially from providers who dislike explicit email, would be most appreciated. Thanks!

I think it's best to save special requests for second visits.

Or perhaps you could post your special interests on ISO forums so ladies can choose whether she wants to respond or not.

Also.....if the activities you're into are in your reviews you can always refer to them.
I have had guys say "you can get an idea of what I like from my reviews". Some don't mind to an extent how explicit you get after they've comfortably screened you....ymmv so check with the individual lady.