Smart Ass 2010

Here is something to put a smile on your face today. One of these is bound to make you giggle!

Subject: The Best Smart Ass Answers of 2010!

The Best Smart Ass Answers of 2010!!

SMART ASS ANSWER #6It was mealtime during an airline flight.
'Would you like dinner?', the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
'What are my choices?' John asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.

SMART ASS ANSWER #5A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As
a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his
trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your
stub.'

SMART ASS ANSWER #4A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she
couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, ' Do
these turkeys get any bigger?'
The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead...'

SMART ASS ANSWER #3The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for
speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the
officer said.
The kid replied, Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a
ticket.

SMART ASS ANSWER #2A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that
read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of
him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the
truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'
The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of
gas.'

SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2010!!A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I
won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider
a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your
immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'
A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What
would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter
sexual exhaustion?'
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was
restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and
sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other
hand.'

A BONUS EXTRAA woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy
with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old,
fat and ugly... I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.

Ouch....!

Officer stops a man for running a stop sign..
Violator says: But officer, I slowed down..
Officer pull out his night stick and asks:
If I started hitting you with this stick, would you want me to STOP or SLOW DOWN?

Two guys are standing on a bridge taking a piss.
First guy says; man this water sure is cold.
Second guys reply; yea, it's freakin deep too.

This drunk staggers into the cop shop to report someone had stolen his car.

Cop asked where was it last you saw it.

Drunk holds up his car key and says "on the end of this key"

Cop rolled his eyes, told the drunk to get on home, sleep it off, come back tomorrow and fill out all the proper forms and all that stuff. Oh, and one more thing: before you go you better zip your fly.

Drunk looks down at his crotch and groans "Awww man, they got my girl too."

Ha! Funny stuff.