blonde men jokes

A friend told the
blond man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year."
The blond man then said,
"Let's hope it's not the
13th."
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Two blond men find three
grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
One asked:
"What if one explodes before we get there?"
The other says: "We'll lie
and say we only found
two."
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A
blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the
shampoo?"He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair,
and I've just wet mine."
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A blond man
goes to the vet with his goldfish. "I think it's got epilepsy,"
he tells the vet.The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to
me". The blonde man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl
yet".
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A blond man spies a letter
lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND
". He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it
up.
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A blond man shouts
frantically into the phone "My wife is pregnant and her
contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?"
asks the Doctor. "No", he shouts, "this is her
husband!"
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A blond man was driving
home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then
another, then another. A cop car pulls him over, so he tells the
cop about all the trees in the road. The cop says, "That's your air
freshener swinging about!"
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A
blonde man's dog goes missing and he is frantic. His wife says
"Why don't you put an ad in the paper?" He does, but two weeks later
the dog is still missing. "What did you put in the paper?" his wife
asks. "Here boy!" he
replies..
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A blond man is in
jail.. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
"Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks. "Hanging myself," the blond
replies. "It should be around your neck" says the guard. "I
tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't
breathe".
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An Italian
tourist asks a blond man: "Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off
their boats?"To which the blonde man replies: "If they fell forward, they'd
still be in the
boat."

A blonde girl at the gym turns the volume down on her MP3 player
and falls over unconscious.

A guy picks up the player puts the ear piece in,
and turns up the volume to hear what she was
listening to.

He hears
Breath in.......Breath out.......Breath in.......Breath out....