Saucy Limericks

The was a young man from Gwent,
Who's cock was exceedingly bent.
To save himself trouble
He put it in double,
Instead of coming, he went.



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Once knew a terrible bragger
Who walked with a clump and a swagger.
The reason, they say,
That the guy walked that way
Was, his dick was cut off with a dagger

A homo who lived in Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room
Where they argued all night
Over who had the right
To do what, and with which, and to whom.

There was a young man from Nong Khai
Who had the best body money could buy
He had a great pair
And a feminine air
That's right., he's no longer a guy.

There once was a girl named Lewinski
She played the President's flute like Stravinsky
He said you're a mess
Take the hem of your dress
And wipe that stuff off of your chinski

Mother Hubbard went to her cupboard
To get her dog a bone
when she bent over
rover drover
because he had a bone of his own!

There was a pretty little bird
it landed on my window sill
I lured him inside with crumbs of bread
then i smashed his fucking head

Tim and I a fishing went,
came across 3 girls in a tent
I bucked one Tim bucked two

There once was a girl from Blackheath
Who circumcised men with her teeth
It wasn't for treasure
Or sexual pleasure
But just for the cheese underneath

A nasty old hermit named Dave
Kept a dead girl in a cave
He said "I'll admit
I'm a terrible shit
but think of the money I save!"

Ever heard of nantucket?

There once was a man from Nantucket
who's cock was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
as he wiped off his chin
"If my beard was a cunt, I would fuck it!"

A Horny young man named Quinn
Had a tool the size of a pin
Said the girl with a laugh
as she played with his staff:
"This won't be much of a sin!"

There was a young man from Cathay,
on a slow boat to China one day,
was trapped at the tiller by a sex crazed gorilla,
and China's a long way away.

There was a young lady from Kew
Who filled her vagina with glue
She said with a grin,
"If they pay to get in,
They'll pay to get out of it too !"

There once was an escort named Bunny
who thought it was terribly funny
To set out one day
In an ECCIE post way
To threAD herself and make lots of money!