Start Monday with a laugh - ECCIE Worldwide

A man woke up one morning and realized his dick was orange. He called his doctor immediately and explains his problem. The doctor has him come and examines him.
"Do you have any appliances??" The Dr. ask
"Why yes, I have a dishwasher, tv, microwave, etc." the man said
"Did you buy anything last night??" the Dr. ask

"Yeah, 2 porno tapes and a bag of cheetos."
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JEWISH LADIES BRAGGING ABOUT THEIR SONS...
Four Jewish ladies meet after 30 years at their High School Reunion.
One goes to take food while the other 3 start to talk about how successful their sons became.
No. 1 says her son studied economics, became a banker and is so rich, he gave his best friend a Ferrari.
No. 2 said her son became a pilot, started his own airline became so rich, he gave his best friend a jet.
No. 3 said her son became an engineer, started his own development company became so rich, he built his best friend a castle.
No 4. came back with a plate full of food and asked what the buzz is about.
They told her they were talking about how successful their sons became and asked her about her son.
She said her son is gay and he works in a Gay Bar.
The other three said she must be very disappointed with her son for not becoming successful.
"Oh no!! " said the Lady, he is doing good.
"Last week on his birthday he got a Ferrari, a jet and a castle from three of his boyfriends...".The other three fainted...
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Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air, and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks: "What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"
The woman replies, "It's Keith. The midget."