Is BDSM dangerous?

ElisabethWhispers's Avatar
Some people would consider the practice of BDSM dangerous on any level. But since I don't think that this has been discussed in Another Realm, thought the idea of debating this topic was long overdue.

Thoughts?
holdmybeerwatchthis's Avatar
Paying someone to be submissive or dominate makes whatever happens fake. IMO.
icansmile's Avatar
Definitely. But it is MORE dangerous driving to and from the encounter.
algrace's Avatar
Mutual respect and trust make it less so. Perceived and actual danger depends on initial discussions and ensuring rules are rules.

From what I understand, engaging in BDSM can be very rewarding, but until one pushes their own boundaries, they may not know the difference between discomfort and (dis)pleasure. Pleasure takes on many forms even within the BDSM realm.




Everything is dangerous to some degree...if done properly.
savak's Avatar
  • savak
  • 04-15-2014, 09:11 PM
Some people would consider the practice of BDSM dangerous on any level. But since I don't think that this has been discussed in Another Realm, thought the idea of debating this topic was long overdue.

Thoughts? Originally Posted by ElisabethWhispers

if youre not careful while playing....yes.

when i first started doing it during my sessions with providers, my body would end up heavily battered - i look back and think to myself that its a good thing im still young because some of the stuff i did taxed me physically.

now ive learned to pace myself as a submissive and also pace my submissives when i play the dom.
melannie_star's Avatar
I believe it can be dangerous if not done properly. As a submissive, I am very choosy on whom I submit to. I do require my doms to have experience.
Before setting a sub/dom session there should be plenty of communication between what is expected and limits.
I tend to go a bit overboard with my limits at times.. which is why I do not do them on a regular basis.

The dangers in BDSM can vary depending on activities. In my experience with an anal hook.. I had almost ripped me a new one, if you know what I mean.LOL.
That was my fault. There are so many sensations going on throughout the body, I completely forgot I had it in!

In addition.. there are proper forms of whipping and caning. I no longer offer caning because of the bruising it can leave behind. I am sure if done in a certain form or fashion.. it is possible without the markings. I really enjoy flogging though.

As far as breath play goes.. you really really need to know what you are doing and be able to read the sub well. The last thing you want is a girl passed out on your C*ck!
Having said that.. While being tied up in many positions.. your blood flow may not have full circulation. Hinse.. the tingling feeling in the hands while hanging from restraints. Which is perfectly normal ( I think) although, again, gives the risk of passing out if in that position too long.

I have done electro shock.. you will need to make sure your partner does not have any health conditions which may affect heart beat..ect.

Nipple clamps and rope play around breast.. can cause nerve damage.. be careful as well! Tying up the breast restricts the blood flow, and numbs them.

Last but not least.. Although all of this may seem like pain and torture.. The intent of sub/dom is not to see how much pain you can cause the sub, but the process in helping her reach that pleasure.It is hard to describe the feeling I get when reaching that point, but it is beyond anything you can fake.

It should be a very pleasurable experience when done with those who have studied the art form in which it should be done! Completely caught me by suprise the first time I realized.. I want more
I believe it can be dangerous if not done properly. As a submissive, I am very choosy on whom I submit to. I do require my doms to have experience.
Before setting a sub/dom session there should be plenty of communication between what is expected and limits.
I tend to go a bit overboard with my limits at times.. which is why I do not do them on a regular basis.

The dangers in BDSM can vary depending on activities. In my experience with an anal hook.. I had almost ripped me a new one, if you know what I mean.LOL.
That was my fault. There are so many sensations going on throughout the body, I completely forgot I had it in!

In addition.. there are proper forms of whipping and caning. I no longer offer caning because of the bruising it can leave behind. I am sure if done in a certain form or fashion.. it is possible without the markings. I really enjoy flogging though.

As far as breath play goes.. you really really need to know what you are doing and be able to read the sub well. The last thing you want is a girl passed out on your C*ck!
Having said that.. While being tied up in many positions.. your blood flow may not have full circulation. Hinse.. the tingling feeling in the hands while hanging from restraints. Which is perfectly normal ( I think) although, again, gives the risk of passing out if in that position too long.

I have done electro shock.. you will need to make sure your partner does not have any health conditions which may affect heart beat..ect.

Nipple clamps and rope play around breast.. can cause nerve damage.. be careful as well! Tying up the breast restricts the blood flow, and numbs them.

Last but not least.. Although all of this may seem like pain and torture.. The intent of sub/dom is not to see how much pain you can cause the sub, but the process in helping her reach that pleasure.It is hard to describe the feeling I get when reaching that point, but it is beyond anything you can fake.

It should be a very pleasurable experience when done with those who have studied the art form in which it should be done! Completely caught me by suprise the first time I realized.. I want more Originally Posted by melannie_star
It is nice to hear from a submissive. I AMA male,who has considered a session with a dominant female. Not sure if there are any in my area. I thought about asking for blindfold to increase the senses while reducing risk of leaving marks. I'm probably less interested in much pain,but more interested in being in someone else's control. Any suggestions?
Grey_Wolf's Avatar
It can be dangerous. Especially when someone that's never done it before tries something they read in a book or saw on a video (think teenager just getting a driver's license). There are groups out there that can help & guide you to safely do those things as well as guide you through some of the ideas you might have. Think safe, sane & consensual. A good place to start would probably be fetlife.
nephilim6mg's Avatar
I agree with Grey Wolf, fetlife is a good place to start for finding groups & learning. The only thing is, you have to be honest (both with yourself & everyone else) on how you identify. If you're not really sure or just starting, it's best you start there. Once you start exploring, you may decide you're not so much into BDSM as just B&D (my flavor) or just kink (big field). 'Course it does get dangerous when you play with someone that has no idea what they're doing. I'm not so much sure about the teenager getting a license analogy as with a dog chasing a car. You know, even if he caught it, he wouldn't know how to drive the damn thing.
As has been mentioned, communication is a HUGE part of BDSM, as well as the motto "safe, sane, and consensual". With those things in mind, I think may be possible to have fun playing in that realm. However, as a submissive bottom who has spent time with a handful of dommes in the last few years, I have to say I have my doubts about if a BDSM relationship with a provider is as solid as a BDSM relationship with another "civvie". There is a certain kind of emotional attention that subs like me need before and after (and often even during), thatspeaking from personal experience only I have found is completely missing with all dominant providers. After my sessions I don't feel elated or joyful as I have heard many subs do, mostly I feel cold and down about myself, just like I was before. And I have never been to subspace. I suffer from depression and I have a lot of self-esteem issues that feed directly into my fascination with cuckolding type scenarios for example, and I have found that I still feel like crap even though most of the providers I've seen have at least tried to do some kind of aftercare interaction. It is not the provider that is the problem, it is the nature of the relationship- it's not a real one.
I guess for me, BDSM in the long run could be more psychologically damaging than physically damaging, since instead of finding an outlet for my insecurities and inner pain, instead I am finding it leaves me feeling badly about myself and doesn't make me feel less depressed. I am excited by all the cuckold scenarios but then afterwards I end up crying. I dunno, I think someone should really look inside themselves and ask what they're wanting or needing to get out of BDSM before they start playing. And I think having a partner who is a real partner and who cares about you on a fundamental emotional level, instead of just a provider partner (whose main motivation is obvious), would make a big difference. Just my personal opinion of course, so please don't flame me or whatever.
Ms. Athena's Avatar
Your must have the right training and skill to perform many of the activities most feel are BDSM, also the proper setting. Many are not safely done in a hotel room,but need a proper dungeon and equipment to achieve the proper effect. Thus even though I may be trained and have the equipment, I will refuse to do certain activities when playing in a hotel. I will never put my client at risk for an injury, it just not worth it. If they sooo crave a certain task, then I will happily refer them to a local Domme that has her own dungeon.
Just cause one buys certain toys or tools, and says they do Fetish Play, does no way mean one is skilled to achieve your desired effect. So in that event Yes, BDSM can be dangerous. And yes even with a SKILLED Dom, things can happen. But a trained Dom knows the warning signs and how to react to prevent and stop the issue. Have Fun butt Play safe........in all areas.
If you go to an experienced Pro Domme , there is never a safety issue in BDSM.

If a woman allows herself to be bound and hit, she is putting her safety at risk...always.
If you go to an experienced Pro Domme , there is never a safety issue in BDSM.

If a woman allows herself to be bound and hit, she is putting her safety at risk...always. Originally Posted by *GoddessDallas*
Ok which is it when "a woman allows herself to be bound and hit" by "an experienced Pro Domme"?
melannie_star's Avatar
Ok which is it when "a woman allows herself to be bound and hit" by "an experienced Pro Domme"? Originally Posted by mysteryman

Those words alone are a question I am asking also.. Just curious.

Responding to many of the fetish posts I see, Since when is a sub provider much different than a sub client.

Bound and Hit may be the wrong choice of words.. IJS.