I want to hire a secretary that will fuck/suck me

I am pretty young but I have to hire a secretary to do all my books and take all my calls and was just curious

When I am doing interviews, what should I look for/ask to see if she is willing to get down and dirty.

Last secretary I fired in Jan for stealing, and I am so sick of answering every phone call. She did fuck and suck, but it was a pure coincidence, she was a guys wife I hired as a favor (lol)

So figure some guys here have experiences with this process just want to know what I should look for
Hire an ugly woman (preferably older) who will do everything you need except fuck and suck. Seriously (if your question is serious). Once you start mixing business with pleasure, it usually ends badly. And once they have something on you, that leverage is always sitting out there to drop on you when you least expect it.
Seedy's Avatar
  • Seedy
  • 07-11-2014, 05:43 PM
Good thought, but also a real good way to lose your business in a lawsuit.
DEAR_JOHN's Avatar
Dude, nothing personal, but you're a lawsuit waiting to happen.

You may try doing a search on sexual harassment.
Hire an ugly woman (preferably older) who will do everything you need except fuck and suck. Seriously (if your question is serious). Originally Posted by Mr. Romantic
All she has to is answer phones and type in receipts. The job is simple enough for anyone to do (Had my ex-gfs cousin doing it for a little while as a part time job, now the phone rings non-stop)

And I would rather have a cum bucket readily available. I deal with clients that are incredibly wealthy and they all have sucketaries it's my turn damnit.
Been there done that several times, and it almost always ended badly (one time, very badly). Then I hired a little old lady who went to church twice a week, and I kept my sex life out of my office. Just sayin' bro. Good luck.
Dorian Gray's Avatar


You can't even spell dammit right.
& you want advise on how to hire a secretary that won't pull a Monica Lewinsky (I know she was actually an intern) on you???
Have you even done a search to see just how bad an idea this is?!
Go ahead. Use Google, Yahoo or Bing. I got time.

No really.... Do a search.

Dude, nothing personal, but you're a lawsuit waiting to happen.

You may try doing a search on sexual harassment. Originally Posted by DEAR_JOHN
I am acutely aware of sexual harassment laws. They are incredibly easy to circumvent (Read:Waivers)

Been there done that several times, and it almost always ended badly (one time, very badly). Then I hired a little old lady who went to church twice a week, and I kept my sex life out of my office. Just sayin' bro. Good luck.
Yeah last time went sour on me (Obviously, emptied my cash box)

I have a couple fuck buddies around here that have been asking me for a job I might just go with one of them.
Find a regular ATF and keep your pussy and your paycheck as far apart from each other as you can. Find an ATF that will make office calls if you have to.
You can't even spell dammit right.
& you want advise on how to hire a secretary that won't pull a Monica Lewinsky (I know she was actually an intern) on you???
Have you even done a search to see just how bad an idea this is?!
Go ahead. Use Google, Yahoo or Bing. I got time.

No really.... Do a search. Originally Posted by Dorian Gray
Well saying "dammit" or "damnit" is terminology for "damn it" and either is a slur generally accepted in most circles, I am going to go ahead ignore that.

This thread is actually becoming an incredibly fast interesting socio-experient in how easy people think sexual-harassment lawsuits take place.

First let me clarify, I am the business owner. I don't answer to HR.

Second, there are any number of contracts I can draft up that will wave the right for certain lawsuits.

Sexual harassment can take two main forms: "quid pro quo harassment" and "hostile work environment harassment."

Both are very obvious and very easy to avoid. I'm not looking to pressure/rape a chick who works for me so she can keep her job

Looks like im going to hire fuck buddy route.
Find a regular ATF and keep your pussy and your paycheck as far apart from each other as you can. Find an ATF that will make office calls if you have to. Originally Posted by Zhivago52
Lol I've already got a couple offer for exactly that thing. Wish I was based out of Houston would make this much easier. But alas, I am kind of far south.
Russ38's Avatar
If ever a thread needed a :facepalm: .....
Inb4 I am in the news 5 years from now being taken to the cleaners in a 100 million dollar lawsuit because she blew me under a desk
Dude's a cashier at McDonald's. No secretary needed.
I am pretty young but I have to hire a secretary to do all my books and take all my calls and was just curious

When I am doing interviews, what should I look for/ask to see if she is willing to get down and dirty.

Last secretary I fired in Jan for stealing, and I am so sick of answering every phone call. She did fuck and suck, but it was a pure coincidence, she was a guys wife I hired as a favor (lol)

So figure some guys here have experiences with this process just want to know what I should look for Originally Posted by PipelinerTx
You starting to sound like a fictional letter writer bro.