rough night

i have had a rough night and would love something funny or a joke to boost me up

What do marriage and a tornado have in common?

Do not let things get to you in life....

What do marriage and a tornado have in common? Originally Posted by MovieMan300

You start with lots of blowing and sucking, but before you know it, your house is gone!

Old divorce lawyer joke.

lol thank you so much for the jokes i appreciate them!

Too bad you don't have access to the Men's Lounge...

Did you hear this one:
"Two dyslexics walk in to a bra..."

I've got a joke along similar lines-

How are a tornado and an Arkansas divorce alike?

Either way someone's gonna lose a double-wide


OK another-

How many ADHD people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Look, a squirrel!


Here's hoping you have a better night tonight London

A lady approaches her priest and says, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquires.

"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?'"

"That's terrible," the priest exclaims, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship."

"Thank you!" the woman responds.

The next day, the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots, and the female parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?"

One male parrot looks at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away. Our prayers have been answered!"

OK,OK, how's this one baby girl:
Two parents take their son on a vacation to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach, and the son goes and plays in the water.

The son comes running up to his mom and says, "Mommy, I saw ladies with breasts a lot bigger than yours!"

The mom says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are."

So he goes back to play.

Minutes later, he runs back and says, "Mommy, I saw men with penises a lot bigger than Daddy's!"

The mom says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are."

So he goes back to play.

Several minutes later, he comes running back and says, "Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw, and the more they talked, the dumber he got!"

How are women and dog turds alike?

The older they get the easier they are to pick up

Two peanuts were walking down the street at night.





One was a salted.

LOL i am loving these jokes!! Thank you fellas! You truly made my night! i love jokes, any kind

I would come visit to cheer u up but what I would pull out of my pants would be a joke