Stop Lying!!

Girls:

If you can't deepthroat a big cock don't say you can. I've had "deepthroat" queens start gagging with half my cock in their mouths. I'm not John Holmes!

If you can't take anal from a big cock don't say you can. Miss Scarlet is the ONLY provider ever who took a pounding no problem. She's awesome.

If you don't live close to a persons desired location request don't say you do. Like saying you are located in Ausitn close to Round Rock but actually are in Georgetown.

If you smoke don't say you don't. I can smell that shit instantly.

Guys:

Stop taking pictures of your little cocks and then tell us how you pounded that pussy in the review. We know how tiny your dick is. She's not moaning. She's trying to not laugh at your sorry ass.

Stop saying a girl can deepthroat if she can't. It's so misleading in reviews. If every girl that has sucked your dick has been able to deepthroat it YOU HAVE A SMALL DICK. Get over it.

Stop saying a girl really likes you or likes fucking you. Stop. She likes what's in that envelope on the table. It's a business deal. I'll hold up my end, pay, and not become a stalker. The provider will provide services and act as if she is enjoying herself. Stop falling in love, White Knights.

Stop slapping each other on the back and acting like you did something special by banging a provider. We could all do the same thing.

Sorry. Rant over. Everyone have a great day and be safe out there.

That is fucking epic! Best so true rant ever!

Thank you, Fire!

All those things sound really reasonable.

Lol, you could add: Guys stop humble bragging about how you're "no John Holmes" yet going into detail about how excruciatingly difficult it is for you to find a girl that can handle your size.

Is humble bragging a thing? Is that like fat shaming? I was merely trying to say my penis is not alien huge or anything

Humble bragging is definitely a thing. It's what you call it when someone claims to have a complaint but it's really just a sly way of getting info across that most people would envy/be jealous of without coming right out and saying it. Extra points if you can somehow use it come off as more modest/humble about your good fortune while concurrently making everyone super aware of your good fortune.

Example of honest bragging: "I'm filthy fucking rich and have a huge dick."

Example of the humble brag version of that: "God, I hate it when I'm just trying to relax and have a nice swim in my money vault and I keep tripping over my dick! I am just really clumsy I guess because it's not super big or anything...I just can't stop tripping over it."

I'm totally going to use this if I ever have to debate about humble bragging in the future! Excellent stuff.

Bravo! {{{Slow Golf Clap}}} Thats how to express yourself.

And stop saying that BS "thanks for the honest review" like the rest of us are a bunch of fucking retards.

IB

Such a nice guy...........

This dip shit again...

Not all of us lie.
I think our review history and our claims should coincide

ladies. yall will never know the trials and tribulations of carrying around an ungodly huge penis.
being stopped by airport security
having a boner so bad you cant sleep, cuz there isnt enough skin left over to shut your eyes.
having to stand on your tippy toes at the urinal to keep from touching the "holy wafer" at the bottom
tanlines !!
(any providers i have seen. yall shut the fuck up!!)

ladies. yall will never know the trials and tribulations of carrying around an ungodly huge penis.
being stopped by airport security
having a boner so bad you cant sleep, cuz there isnt enough skin left over to shut your eyes.
having to stand on your tippy toes at the urinal to keep from touching the "holy wafer" at the bottom
tanlines !!
(any providers i have seen. yall shut the fuck up!!) Originally Posted by knotty man

Lmao...

"You need to tell these things..."

You slay me. ♡♡♡

Ah ain't no John Holmes. Tha sumbitch wuz a ********, prolly killt sum folks, fukked fellas in sum gay porns an' died o' tha AIDS. Plus, Ah don't look good inna mouse-stash.







Staff edit, Spice-It is not permitted to discuss, mention, or speculate about illicit drug use on ECCIE forums. This includes terms and vernacular used to imply illicit drug use as well.

Eccie Forum Guidelines
#15 - There is no place in our forums for the general discussion or speculation of illicit drug use. This is to be considered a forbidden topic and mention of it will be removed.