need opinions

I fell in love with an escort,,I mean really bad, now beginning to find holes in what she has been telling me about her feelings to me. I am a push over when she smiles, and just choose to believe what she say's. I now am tortured by how she seduced me, and now our sex is hurry up. Has anyone gone thru this ? and can you help clear my head ??

My fear is that the escort actress has never left, and she is excellent at what she does. opinions please.

A few years ago when I was in my late 40s, I went through the following cycle with a girl in her early 20s:

1. one provider I saw among many
2. the only provider I saw
3. my sugar baby
4. my girlfriend
5. my primary SO (I'm married, btw)
6. one provider I saw among many

At one point I was convinced I was going to leave my wife and marry the girl, which is what she said she wanted. But some close male friends eventually brought me back to reality, and I ended the relationship. I found out later that the girl had been doing some providing during our relationship.

Also, I know of dozens of attempts by hobbyists and providers to form stable, loving relationships, but not one that I know of worked out -- NOT ONE. Things you think are buried come up to haunt you during times of stress and anger.

My advice to you is to RUN, DO NOT WALK, to the nearest exit.

A few years ago when I was in my late 40s, I went through the following cycle with a girl in her early 20s:

1. one provider I saw among many
2. the only provider I saw
3. my sugar baby
4. my girlfriend
5. my primary SO (I'm married, btw)
6. one provider I saw among many

At one point I was convinced I was going to leave my wife and marry the girl, which is what she said she wanted. But some close male friends eventually brought me back to reality, and I ended the relationship. I found out later that the girl had been doing some providing during our relationship.

Also, I know of dozens of attempts by hobbyists and providers to form stable, loving relationships, but not one that I know of worked out -- NOT ONE. Things you think are buried come up to haunt you during times of stress and anger.

My advice to you is to RUN, DO NOT WALK, to the nearest exit. Originally Posted by ShysterJon

This is great advice, and the only thing you should listen to. You are building a house on a floodplain. It's not a question of if it will fall apart, it is merely a question of when.

Sweetheart,
Sooooo strange that you bring this up! I just recently lost someone who I used to be very close to outside the hobby to another lady in this business! The odds are against them, but I do wish he finds happiness with her! If he doesn't, I will always be there for him!

There is NO way that you can find true love in the hobby unless the both of you leave it! I feel for you because sometimes emotions do come into play and there's no way of getting around it! I know it's hard, but walk away from this! No good will come of this!

If you're single.... date, date, date! Try any of the dating sites! Anything, but do NOT date a provider! Lick your wounds and move on.....I did! I want a real life away from the hobby and and when I find that special someone, I'm out of here and will NEVER look back!

In the interest of brevity - what they said. [Been there, had a great time (never thought of marriage), it ended on a good note; but I believe "love" to be hard enough when there is no "provider"/"hobbyist" in the equation. Run - don't walk - to your nearest provider, get what you pay for, and be happy]

And here's to seeing Lana before she finds "him".

I fell in love with an escort,,I mean really bad, now beginning to find holes in what she has been telling me about her feelings to me. I am a push over when she smiles, and just choose to believe what she say's. I now am tortured by how she seduced me, and now our sex is hurry up. Has anyone gone thru this ? and can you help clear my head ??

My fear is that the escort actress has never left, and she is excellent at what she does. opinions please. Originally Posted by Hawk555

Shit happens and you just need to man up and face the facts. You have stated everything you need to know - now, all you have to do is have a revolution and have the big head rule the little head (and the misconceptions the LH is so good at producing).

Repeat after me (over and over until you get it right):

"I am not that special to her. I am one among many. I am closer to an ATM than a real-life Knight in Shining Armor."

I agree with all of the above, but I also disagree (surprise!). History is chocked with tales of courtesans who not only married their "clients," but remained faithful to those marriages/relationships. That having been said, the success of these types of relationships obviously is rare, very rare. So I'd would just make damned sure that my feelings are long past the point of no return before taking the leap. And I'm sad to remind you that if it fails, you and you alone are likely to pay all of the consequences. One the one hand, you don't want to be stupid; on the other, the person with great emotion is the least likely to be able to define stupid. Good luck whatever you decide.

Shit happens and you just need to man up and face the facts. You have stated everything you need to know - now, all you have to do is have a revolution and have the big head rule the little head (and the misconceptions the LH is so good at producing) Originally Posted by Randy4Candy

His problem is not that the little head is in control, but that the big head is. Lust is much easier to cure than love/infatuation/obsession. It sounds like you already know that this is not a real relationship. I don't think putting the genie back in the bottle and trying to make it into an escort-client relationship is a good idea. My advice would be to end all contact, get rid of anything that reminds you of her, and avoid reading or thinking about her as much as possible. Only time, space, and, hopefully, the love of a good woman will cure your ill.

there it is...LW..."NEVER look back!"

Well, been there, done that. Only cost $100k. Luckily, spent $300k so far in the hobby...over 10 years.

It ends badly 99.9% of the time; knew that going in but generally the heart > mind.

While it may seem like the worthwhile shot, if a friend had the same situation, what would you say to him/her?

Then take your own advice.

Can 2 peopl ein this hobby fall in love and be happy ever after. And I have money coming from Nigeria as soon as I call them back.

Its possible but the odds of it working out?.......

See rule #2 below and run away

I fell in love with an escort,,I mean really bad, now beginning to find holes in what she has been telling me about her feelings to me. I am a push over when she smiles, and just choose to believe what she say's. I now am tortured by how she seduced me, and now our sex is hurry up. Has anyone gone thru this ? and can you help clear my head ??

My fear is that the escort actress has never left, and she is excellent at what she does. opinions please. Originally Posted by Hawk555

The way she SEDUCED you? Didn't you understand going into this that it is a business transaction? Did she make you any promises to run away an be with you and only you? Did she ask you to 'take her away from all of this' and save her? Did
she torture you by calling you every night to tell you of her undying love for you?

I have fallen in love with EVERY provider I have seen more than once, for three hours per affair. Hell, I even have hobby wedding vows just in case I need them. They go something like this: I promise to love you FOREVER, or until the donation runs out. I suggest you do the same, it's easier that way and a hell of a lot more fun!

Get over it! This is a business for the ladies, a way to put food on the table and to put their children through school. They don't need a hobbyist falling in love with them to make a living, in fact it's a nuisance to them more than anything else.

How's that for an opinion, replies are welcomed.

If you think that you are special to her, try shorting the envelope one time......

I can't fuck someone I don't love, it may be a very short time, but it has to be love. I've stopped seeing a couple that I just got too close to, the breaks seemed to get me back to reality. I may be an ATM, but I think I finally have my PIN in my hands alone.

I also got away from one girl who seemed to be way too close and clingy, so I think it's more than possible for the girls to lose it and fall for a hobbyist.

Like many have said, I don't know of any happy love endings...sorry.

You can do it!

Hey all,, Thanks for the opinions,, to be honest one thing I left out of my message, was
I met her in the hobby,,she left it long ago. Of course I supported her,, and believed, it grew into a real relationship. I guess being the fool is what is so depressing.
Trust me,, I know as fact she is no longer a provider.

Strange thing is, me being who I am, all she had to do is not to start making mistakes, and not just start letting me feel she take me for granted. Infatuation, too many years,, sorry I forgot to say "X" provider.

I am sitting here thinking of all you have said, again, honestly, I have so much pain thinking about not having her in my life, and most of all taking away what I have given her and her kids.

Not sure what I will do at this point, torn apart emotionally.

Thanks to all