Not a cry for help, but what keeps people motivated to live?

What's the point? I'm hoping someone can provide a nugget of info that I've missed along the way. Why bother? No wife, no kids, hate my job, "hobby" because it's the only way I can remotely experience any kind of affection for now. I'm miserable....so why bother?

Again, I'm not suicidal here....just reaching out to an anonymous group hoping someone has some words of wisdom for me.

If you have no advice and you're going to flame, all I ask is that you please use proper grammar. I have no desire to read some unintelligible rubbish about how I should go die in a fire.

Thanks

I would say bother because the alternative really sucks ! Life is short , far too short to be wasting it. Go out and find things that do interest you. Before you know it the inevitable dirt nap will be upon you. Try to have fun so when that happens,you won't have those last seconds filled with regret for the time you wasted not doing what you like.

Each day when you wake up you have a choice: Is this going to be a good day or a bad day. Yes, it is YOUR CHOICE.
I have been where you are at now and I realized that I did have a choice.

Best wishes,

G

Mullet, after reading your post, it dawned on my that you have an amazing opportunity.

No wife. No kids. A job you hate.

So you have absolutely nothing holding you back from saying fuck it, and throwing caution to the wind. Take some risks in life. Do something different. Sell everything you have. Move to Thailand or Italy for a year. Take 2 weeks and live every day like it is literally your last day on earth. Say everything that's on your mind. Live under a bridge with hobos for a few days. Volunteer at a homeless shelter for a day. Do whatever it is that you've always wanted to do, and in doing so, you might find something to live for. What do you have to lose?

"Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose" Like the man said you got nothing holding you back, go do something for just you. Take a road trip, nothing like driving that will get the ol' brain juices flowing, and ask youself "what do I want", and do not stop driving till you have an answer. Good luck, and keep it between the white lines.

When in the course of events that you find yourself close to death, as I did once, you abandon all hope, you wish for death, and you feel it, yes, you really do feel it coming, and then there is an instinctively animalistic sense of survival that kicks in and you fight, you curse, you scream, and you win...

You appreciate life...it is given to you...and you make it what you will...

"when Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade"..

What utter Bullshit...

Never settle...

When Life Gave Me Lemons, I grabbed them, flung them back at Life, and Screamed, I DIDNT ASK FOR LEMONS, DAMMIT, GIVE ME LIMES!!!

I took my limes, changed my life, and take Life a day at a time, and I am a happier person for it...

Change is a wonderful and powerful thing...

Break patterns, learn a new skill, I started a business and was told by Wall Street Bankers "thats not feasibly possible"...

I did it...

You are the Master of your Domain....go grab some Limes and squeeze....

[quote=mulletfan;2466312]What's the point? I'm hoping someone can provide a nugget of info that I've missed along the way. Why bother? No wife, no kids, hate my job, "hobby" because it's the only way I can remotely experience any kind of affection for now. I'm miserable....so why bother?/quote]

No wife, no kids? Do you want either? If not, then why is it a problem? If you DO want one or both, what are you doing to make that happen? Hobbying is NOT the place to find a wife or girlfriend. It's anti-matter to civilian dating.

OK, you hate your job. Are you actively looking to find one that you would like or hopefully love? If not, why not?

I guess my point is that you're miserable. What are you doing to find a place where you are NOT miserable? No one can do this for you, you have to do it yourself. Make a plan, write it down if you have to and figure out what you WANT and then how you will go out and get it.

I do understand where you're coming from, I'm in a similar position in some respects but whine though I might, I am working to find a better way. Nobody said it would be easy or fast.

I do wish you luck, we all deserve a little happiness in life. I hope that you find yours.

You can change all the aspects you are miserable with into something great, don't take anything for granted, ever.

You need to find a purpose. I know this is not the forum for this question but have you tried joining a volunteer group or going to a church and getting involved? One thing I learned is that I will meet people (and form relationships too) when I do things I am actually interested in. when I tried to force the issue nothing ever came. When I started to get involved with things I am interested in the motivation, relationships and social (success?) activities picked up and made life fun.

Also, I know these are bad times for jobs but, find a job you like. Been there and done that. Working for a group of assholes that found pleasure in screwing with you. Get out, don't let them keep you in misery. They think its funny. They laugh at you for staying because they know you hate your job.

Keep your head up, no one else will.

What's the point? I'm hoping someone can provide a nugget of info that I've missed along the way. Why bother? No wife, no kids, hate my job, "hobby" because it's the only way I can remotely experience any kind of affection for now. I'm miserable....so why bother?

Again, I'm not suicidal here....just reaching out to an anonymous group hoping someone has some words of wisdom for me.

If you have no advice and you're going to flame, all I ask is that you please use proper grammar. I have no desire to read some unintelligible rubbish about how I should go die in a fire.

Thanks Originally Posted by mulletfan

Mullet, I'll take on the challenge. First, 5 things to look forward to

1). The first time you look into your (unborn) childs eyes
2). A beautiful sunrise when its just you and the horizon
3). That first light kiss that turns passionate...provider or otherwise...ahhhhh
4). The first sip of a great wine...(yeah, you have to love wine, I know)
5). Simply tomorrow...

Things change. And I think they are cyclicle..."its never as bad or as good as you think". The positive choice is to find some moderation. Find things YOU like to do alone...
If I'm not being too forward, it sounds like "lonliness" is at the core of your current mindset. I have several hobbies or things I like to do for just ME that don't require another participant. This will vary for everyone, but...I like to bike ride, hike, do photo work (taking pics/optimizing them-its a very rewarding hobby).

Join some groups if you just need to meet people...eccie is not the place you are going to bond with a lot of folks, just the nature of what it is. You might meet 2-3 girls you have shared interests with & become friends, but its not the norm.

And this sounds so simple, and I realize its not. But if you hate your job, get another....I took a MAJOR career change just 5 years ago. Was scary. Involved relocation. Learning new skill sets. Lots of challenges along the way. But I've been very succesful in it, and now I look back and think "why didn't I do that before"?

Also, sometimes a change of venue renews the spirit...(IE Move the fuck away, you can always come back).

Hope some of this registers....hang in there, its ALWAYS better tomorrow!!!

What's the point? I'm hoping someone can provide a nugget of info that I've missed along the way. Why bother? No wife, no kids, hate my job, "hobby" because it's the only way I can remotely experience any kind of affection for now. I'm miserable....so why bother? Originally Posted by mulletfan

Once you stop using the socially defined standards of what your "supposed" to do/have for happiness you'll be a lot happier. Bust out on your own and do your own thing. Stop being another sheep in the herd and judging yourself against the norm.

As for hating your job, others have suggested that you have the golden opportunity that few people get and I completely agree. If you hate what you do, then do something else. If you hate where you do it, change it. No one to consider but yourself and that's freedom my friend.

Get told that you've been diagnosed with cancer and that it's likely terminal and see if your outlook doesn't change. Trust me, you'll look at EVERYTHING in a different way. The little trivial things are suddenly fascinating...the skies a different shade of color...everything that you've been taken for granted all of these years is suddenly something that you want to hold on to. Each day is a gift and you have NO CLUE just how lucky you are at this very moment to be complaining about the thing you're most fortunate to have.

Take a walk down the children's cancer ward and see what these innocent little kids are dealing with and going through each second of each minute of each hour of each day NON-Fucking Stop, bro and then step back and take inventory of your so-called, miserable life.

What's the point? The point is, there are those who would give anything to have what you so trivially disregard....Man, if you seriously have to ask, I feel sorry for you. I truly do.


Regards,
SofaKingFun
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A journalist asked the psychoanalyst Karl Menniger what advice he would give a patient who is suicidally depressed or felt he was going crazy. The interviewer expected a long psychobabble response, but Menninger's simple answer was "Find someone who needs help and help them". Our great spiritual traditions give similar advice; for example, google The St. Francis of Assisi Prayer. You can't fix you, but helping others can fix you.

Here's a song I find inspiring when I get really down: "Someone is Looking for Someone Like You" by Gail Davies. It's on Itunes, YouTube etc Good Luck. I hope you find what you are looking for.

well from some one that almost died back in october that also has no wife no kids and a job that i hate and it has been said live life like each day may be your last because you never know what may happen and yes as sofakingfun said go visit a childs cancer ward or go to the va and visit some real american heroes and see what they gave for us and many you will find some resolve to your question good luck in your quest