Why the small talk?

I still consider my self new as my availability is very minimal right now, so take what I'm saying with a grain of salt.

Why do some men call, text, email trying to talk to me/providers like we are friends and this is before ever meeting or making an appointment. In my head I'm thinking like what does this man want? Wait till after we meet before you call me up for small talk.

Also another thing if a lady does not advertise bare back why do some ask? Maybe I'm taking it the wrong way but I get somewhat upset when someone asks me that it's like asking to give me AIDS basically that's how I look at it lol
Ok my rant is over.

Just listened to somone talk for 7 minutes with me trying to figure out why is he really trying to make a convo right now? Ladies please chime in how do you handle that without seeming rude?

For many the IOP is important. Small talk helps develop the GFE feeling as well. GFE is more than just a list of activities. How can you act like my GF if you dont know anything about me at all? Or don't even care to take the time to get to know me a little? Getting to know the lady through small talk helps develop a connection. I for one have no desire to walk in and fuck a total stranger. Learn to fill the needs of your customers and you wilI do better. If your not willing to engage me in small talk so I can get to know you better odds are you will never see any of my money.

As to BBFS, lots of ladies do it. Many who say they don't. I guess guys who want that have so little respect for themselves or others that they really don't care if you get pissed at the request or not. They just want what they want and will ask till they get it. After all, if you say no, they aren't going to see you anyway.

I understand the getting to know me part after booking me so I know it's not just cuz your bored because with no interest of seeing me later. Thanks for the insight ill look at it that way from now onn, makes sense

Part of the problem I see for you ladies is screening out the tire kickers. I for one have no desire to waste my time or yours but that chit chat is part of my screening process. But there are guys who will and I can see that as a huge time sink. I am afraid I have no good ideas what to tell you about how to decide if its worth the time and energy investment to talk up a guy or not. Especialy for someone like me who does not post reviews here. Maybe some of the other ladies can give you some suggestions on that.

I understand the getting to know me part after booking me so I know it's not just cuz your bored because with no interest of seeing me later. Thanks for the insight ill look at it that way from now onn, makes sense Originally Posted by dallastxbaby

Tell them your time is your time. Set up a paypal and offer convo for a buck a min. That'll keep me off you doll. Sorry OBSG, but IOP starts at the session. A little flirty banter is fine (ie can't wait to get u in my throat tomorrow) but DO NOT treat them to OTC attention until they have seen you enough for you not to feel taken advantage of. There is a fine line. And that line is your call to make. Some ladies don't mind while others keep it strictly business all the time. Best of luck to you! Stay consistent and save your moolah!!

Just stab him on the way out. Hear that, frequent texters?

Hey...we don't just want to only make love to you...we want you to like us and be our girlfriend, too!

Sorry, DTB...believe me, you are DEFINITELY not the only one it happens to.

...I for one have no desire to walk in and fuck a total stranger. Originally Posted by OldButStillGoing

Shit, I have NO problem with walking in a fucking a total stranger, but that's me




My suggestion to the OP...ignore all those calls, texts, and emails trying to talk to you like y'all are friends before ever meeting or making an appointment.

I very much agree with OBSG. Before I'll book I want to know about the girl. I'm ultra GFE and someone that's purely PSE just isn't what I'm looking for. I'm not asking her to be my wife but I need to know I like them before I can do anything else. Can't tell you how many times I read a girl's posts in conversations on these boards as a way of personal screening. I do however agree that I have no idea if how many guys are looking for sexting versus actually meaning and that has to be very frustrating to providers. If a provider tells me I'm asking too many questions I apologize and move on. I've got a healthy hobby budget and am sure I'll find someone else that doesn't treat me as a waste of time. Thinking this frustration is a part of your business, much as a car salesperson or realtor.

And Hot Nurse - the brief interactions we've had on twitter have me very attracted to you as I see a nice, smart person - I want that in my providers. Actually more important than looks and services to me (NOT saying you're not a hottie). I'm very big on the saying of turn on my big head and that is how you turn on my little head. Just my two cents.

... Sorry OBSG, but IOP starts at the session. Originally Posted by thathottnurse

You see that is where you and many other ladies are completely wrong. IOP is not a set of activities. Saw one lady post that because she got the guy off her IOP must be great. Wrong. It’s a mind set. A perception of things, not the actual activities by themselves. It may be expressed during the activities but don’t confuse the actual physical act as IOP in and of itself. PSE/GFE typically are a set of activates. Though I would argue GFE is a bit more than that. I can have a very rewarding IOP with a BJ session and have no IOP with a full blown, mind blowing sex filled multi hour session., I as the buyer determine when IOP starts and if it is good or not. You may do everything you think is great to setup IOP, but just because you may be a great lay does not mean you meet my IOP needs. Just as I as the client determine if the session was good or not regardless of what you think.
It is common to see comments in reviews that a lady did a good job but was very mechanical while a different lady made him feel like she really enjoyed what she was doing and being with him.. The act may have been the same and both may get the guy off but that difference is what makes IOP. Not just getting him off.

If I am not looking for IOP as part of a session, then no need for a lot of chatting, texting, etc other than to set up the session. But, if I am looking for a real IOP session, then that process starts long before I ever walk in the door. I read your posts, maybe chat a little in chat with you. Maybe a PM or 2. Not a lot, not excessive but some is needed to see if we “click”. Maybe even meet face to face first.

Every single woman I have seen more than once I met face to face before ever seeing her in a session. They made me feel like they were just as glad to meet me BCD as I was and not just for the money. Does not matter if it is true or not. “I” stands for illusion.
It is not practical to meet every provider face to face but that “connection” process still needs to take place for great IOP.

CassandraL’Amore is a perfect example. After I see her, I feel like the king of the world. Not only did we have mind blowing sex (at least in my mind) but she is able to make me feel like she was so happy to spend time with me and that I left her eager to see me again as if I was her real BF. She achieves IOP with me life very few others. And it all started because she spent a few minutes talking to me when we first met and made me feel like she was glad to know me.

Yea, yea, other guys may not need all that or even agree with me. So what? I am spending my money, not theirs. I want what I want out of a session. Don’t really care if they want the same or not. If a provider does not wish to invest the time and effort to meet my needs then fine. No problem. I will select a different provider.

But remember, WE as the clients determine if you have great IOP, what it is, and when it starts. Not you.

I often post about IOP and the connection I seek as a hobbyist. I have seen beautiful women that had zero IOP. I would rather see cute or normal soccer mom who enjoys being with me (or at least makes me think so -LOL). Of course smoking hot and can't get enough of me is pretty awesom !

Easy Lover- THN is really smart, cute and amazing fun , one of my ATF's for sure. You never really know until you meet but the first time I saw THN I thought "This is going to be fun". She has great legs /ass and a very cute face. Go for it and I bet you will have a great time with THN. Actually if you don't like her I'll see her the next time at no charge to you. LOL

Part of the problem I see for you ladies is screening out the tire kickers. I for one have no desire to waste my time or yours but that chit chat is part of my screening process. But there are guys who will and I can see that as a huge time sink. I am afraid I have no good ideas what to tell you about how to decide if its worth the time and energy investment to talk up a guy or not. Especially for someone like me who does not post reviews here. Maybe some of the other ladies can give you some suggestions on that. Originally Posted by OldButStillGoing

Honestly, the answer to that is to go email only. Either that, or learn how to control a phone call so you can get the information you need to be comfortable with meeting a guy. It seems that as a person in the business of meeting strangers a lady would appreciate a man who's willing to not be rude, and willing to make you comfortable.

I like it when a man takes his time and tells me about himself, but it's usually preceded by or included with an email with his screening information so that I know his intentions are serious. That connection is necessary for me to be at my best. I won't have it any other way.

And I completely disagree that it starts at the session. And there's a difference between a man who gets to anticipate more from a woman that he has chemistry with and a guy thrown in a room with a woman who just there to perform fellatio.

But I understand that there are ladies, just like men who prefer to see this as just a business, and need to do so as much to keep things in check emotionally.

To each his/her own.

OP, there are two types of hobbyists:

#1 Wannabes who waste your time. These are the guys who called girls back in high school and hung up after breathing into the mouth piece for 20 minutes. These are the guys who are too cheap to call a 1-900 number and pay for phone sex. These are the guys who lurk online and get a thrill chatting up a provider. You'd be better off starting the meter and sending them an invoice.

#2 Actual hobbyists who screen ladies and do their research. These are the guys with a decent reputation online and solid references. These are the guys who book appointments and keep promises. These are the guys who use small talk to gauge a provider's (A) ability to form coherent sentences and use appropriate punctuation marks; (B) time management skills (e.g. respond in a timely manner or correspond at agreed-upon times); (C) memory (e.g. just how many guys is she juggling?); and (D) creativity (e.g. what's the real preview of BCD).

#3 Okay, three types. The rest of the guys who fall in between #1 & #2.

It helps to call and talk with the young lady first for one can see if there is a connection....In that same sense is showing respect to the young lady also and letting her go when she says so and only calling once.....

Also another thing if a lady does not advertise bare back why do some ask? Maybe I'm taking it the wrong way but I get somewhat upset when someone asks me that it's like asking to give me AIDS basically that's how I look at it lol
Ok my rant is over.

Just listened to somone talk for 7 minutes with me trying to figure out why is he really trying to make a convo right now? Ladies please chime in how do you handle that without seeming rude? Originally Posted by dallastxbaby

Some fucktards want bbfs. They will book an appointment and during the session ask, or assume, bbfs is on the menu. If you do not offer bbfs, make sure they know it.

OBSG - You are one wise eccie sage - I compliment you. As to the original question: I have had the good fortune of finding two regulars that were willing to spend the time with me on my "pre-screening" calls, txt's, etc., that I was with for over one year. That was like 2-3 appts a month - for a few calls and txt msgs. Do the numbers - DTXB - thats over $5,400 in this time frame. 7-10 minutes of your time - up-front- investment - and your complaining?
All I was seeking was an hr or so of just good compaionship - not just all sex- just a time of bliss and escape from everyday worries and concerns - and someone making me feel special and feel good - even though I am not young and handsome and not a "hunk" by any means.

You do the math.