Some questions

Hello Gentlemen and Ladies,

I recently placed a message in the Welcome section that has resulted in a lot of responses that instead of enlightening me has simply generated many more questions. I have read a lot over the last week that really makes it all as clear as mud.

My initial goal was to find 1 or 2 guys that would want to spend time with me that would account for 6 visits a month at $400 a visit. For that I was considering spending all day or night with someone.

I have learned that is not what you guys are looking for though.

So here are some simple questions

a) Why is it that guys that post in the message list, for the most part, do not follow up with some personal message to display interest? Is the fact you post in the message stream meant to be some sort of courtship ritual? Are you messaging to gain my attention or for the benefit of each other? I get the sense that a lot of chest bumping and high fives occurs where I'm not looking.

b) Why do so many guys that sent me messages have little to no history of participating in this place? How do I learn anything about you if you signed up here 3 years ago but never write anything? I guess asking that here is useless though right? since you don't really write here.

c) I get the impression that many of you simply send the same message to any and every girl as most seemed to totally ignore my comments regarding being new and trying to make a decision. Offers of $120 for a half hour and a variety of different acts expected? Did I really give off that vibe?

d) What drives you guys to want to see so many different girls? How can you find the one you are with to be so incredibly amazing and then forget all about her tomorrow and move on to the next one? I think that would bother me more than a lot of other things.

I have only been a SugarBaby. The potential to earn in a couple of weeks what would carry me through 6 months is very tempting.

Hello Gentlemen and Ladies,

I recently placed a message in the Welcome section that has resulted in a lot of responses that instead of enlightening me has simply generated many more questions. I have read a lot over the last week that really makes it all as clear as mud.

My initial goal was to find 1 or 2 guys that would want to spend time with me that would account for 6 visits a month at $400 a visit. For that I was considering spending all day or night with someone.

I have learned that is not what you guys are looking for though.

So here are some simple questions

a) Why is it that guys that post in the message list, for the most part, do not follow up with some personal message to display interest? Is the fact you post in the message stream meant to be some sort of courtship ritual? Are you messaging to gain my attention or for the benefit of each other? I get the sense that a lot of chest bumping and high fives occurs where I'm not looking.

b) Why do so many guys that sent me messages have little to no history of participating in this place? How do I learn anything about you if you signed up here 3 years ago but never write anything? I guess asking that here is useless though right? since you don't really write here.

c) I get the impression that many of you simply send the same message to any and every girl as most seemed to totally ignore my comments regarding being new and trying to make a decision. Offers of $120 for a half hour and a variety of different acts expected? Did I really give off that vibe?

d) What drives you guys to want to see so many different girls? How can you find the one you are with to be so incredibly amazing and then forget all about her tomorrow and move on to the next one? I think that would bother me more than a lot of other things.

I have only been a SugarBaby. The potential to earn in a couple of weeks what would carry me through 6 months is very tempting. Originally Posted by Kendra Huntress

Okay, you are looking for a commitment of $2400 a month (6 visits at $400 a visit). If I was in the P4P market here would be my problems:

1. $2400 a month is a lot of money.
2. $400 a visit is a lot of money, Are you familiar with the term GPS?
3. You have not posted many pictures of yourself.
3. You have not provided any specifications of services offered for $400 an hour.
4. You are not the typical provider. As you state you are looking for a couple of "sugar daddies". No "wham-bam-thank you maam" sessions for you.
5. You are looking for "older" men who might want a beautiful woman to be seen with and will not be so demanding in the bedroom.

Without seeing a photograph showing you in total, I assume you are a beautiful woman. Very well-spoken in your posts. I wish you nothing but the best of luck in your pursuits. I may certainly be mistaken in what you are looking for in the Austin market, but if I am correct, you are looking for an individual or two who might not exist.

My initial goal was to find 1 or 2 guys that would want to spend time with me that would account for 6 visits a month at $400 a visit. For that I was considering spending all day or night with someone. Originally Posted by Kendra Huntress

That is a fine goal. I think we may all have different goals when it comes to the hobby. I know mine and yours are probably not the same given what you wrote here.

a) Why is it that guys that post in the message list, for the most part, do not follow up with some personal message to display interest? Is the fact you post in the message stream meant to be some sort of courtship ritual? Are you messaging to gain my attention or for the benefit of each other? I get the sense that a lot of chest bumping and high fives occurs where I'm not looking. Originally Posted by Kendra Huntress

Sorry, but I cannot help you here. I know that I do not do the things you list, and I am unable to answer for those that do. Sorry.

b) Why do so many guys that sent me messages have little to no history of participating in this place? How do I learn anything about you if you signed up here 3 years ago but never write anything? I guess asking that here is useless though right? since you don't really write here. Originally Posted by Kendra Huntress

Again, I am a writer and not a messenger, so I cannot answer with any authority.

c) I get the impression that many of you simply send the same message to any and every girl as most seemed to totally ignore my comments regarding being new and trying to make a decision. Offers of $120 for a half hour and a variety of different acts expected? Did I really give off that vibe? Originally Posted by Kendra Huntress

No, but back to my original point. We all have different goals.

d) What drives you guys to want to see so many different girls? How can you find the one you are with to be so incredibly amazing and then forget all about her tomorrow and move on to the next one? I think that would bother me more than a lot of other things. Originally Posted by Kendra Huntress

Human nature is the first answer. I enjoy the variety. And the one that I found so "incredibly amazing" moved. Her replacement has now NCNSed on me three times. That says it's time to move on.

I have only been a SugarBaby. The potential to earn in a couple of weeks what would carry me through 6 months is very tempting. Originally Posted by Kendra Huntress

Then do it if it is in your interest. I, personally, am unable to spend all day and all night with someone, even for $400 a shot. Due to my (and probably many other hobbyist's) circumstances, arranging for a couple of hours when I am able to get away is all I can do.

Oh, and my goal is to find a perky 20-something girl who likes using me as her man toy whenever I can see her. And she even fronts me gas money to do so! Good luck to me.

a) Why is it that guys that post in the message list, for the most part, do not follow up with some personal message to display interest? Is the fact you post in the message stream meant to be some sort of courtship ritual? Are you messaging to gain my attention or for the benefit of each other? I get the sense that a lot of chest bumping and high fives occurs where I'm not looking. Originally Posted by Kendra Huntress

I just see a few "Welcome" comments and just the normal general discussion. I will drop a welcome here and there, but it doesn't necessarily mean I am interested in a lady. If I am interested, I will send a PM. Some guys want to be the 'first' with a girl. There is some chest thumping here on occasion, but wouldn't happen until they have met you.

b) Why do so many guys that sent me messages have little to no history of participating in this place? How do I learn anything about you if you signed up here 3 years ago but never write anything? I guess asking that here is useless though right? since you don't really write here. Originally Posted by Kendra Huntress

Most of us are looking for the physical act of sex, with some connection being nice, but probably not required by most. Bluntly put, we don't plan to date you, so why do you need to know what we say in our past comments? I assume that is what you are asking for. Instead you should ask for "recommendations" from the guys you see have no history. They should be able to provide you names of a few ladies they have seen recently to verify they are safe, etc.

You might also try to find a lady who will let you take her to lunch to learn abit about how she does things.

c) I get the impression that many of you simply send the same message to any and every girl as most seemed to totally ignore my comments regarding being new and trying to make a decision. Offers of $120 for a half hour and a variety of different acts expected? Did I really give off that vibe? Originally Posted by Kendra Huntress

After reading your intro post, you don't give off that vibe. It is my impression from the most vocal, we (including myself) are frugal and looking at the return on investment. You should probably take the offers of $120 as counter offers. It is a safe bet those guys saw the wall of text, and their eyes glazed over. But once they saw the nice photos at the bottom of your post, they sent a message anyway. From their point of view, what is the worst thing that will happen, you ignore them or say no? If they are copy and pasting the same messages to every lady, then it is obviously very little time involved for them.

d) What drives you guys to want to see so many different girls? How can you find the one you are with to be so incredibly amazing and then forget all about her tomorrow and move on to the next one? I think that would bother me more than a lot of other things. Originally Posted by Kendra Huntress

It is rare I find a lady here "incredibly amazing". That is ok with me though. Ask a sociologist why men typically have multiple partners. It is probably above the head of most men to answer the question in relation to themselves. I know it is for me.

Hello Gentlemen and Ladies,

I recently placed a message in the Welcome section that has resulted in a lot of responses that instead of enlightening me has simply generated many more questions. I have read a lot over the last week that really makes it all as clear as mud.

My initial goal was to find 1 or 2 guys that would want to spend time with me that would account for 6 visits a month at $400 a visit. For that I was considering spending all day or night with someone.

As that was not explained in your welcome wagon post, feigning disappointment with the masses is not good form. If you would have stated this from the get, I feel you might have not gotten so many "low end" offers.

I have learned that is not what you guys are looking for though.

So here are some simple questions

a) Why is it that guys that post in the message list, for the most part, do not follow up with some personal message to display interest?

Welcome Wagon is indeed a welcoming thread. Many just say "Hi, glad you are here". Its being cordial & welcoming you to our community. Fact is there are prolly 600+ working girls in ATX so the competition is fierce. Not every guy has $3K laying around to spend on the hobby every month. Some might though!

Is the fact you post in the message stream meant to be some sort of courtship ritual?

Can't speak for everyone, but for me when I post its usually just to say Hi and welcome. Occasionally I'll be interested enough to reach out. If there is mutual interest we might go further, if not, then no.

Are you messaging to gain my attention or for the benefit of each other?

The question seems somewhat inflammatory, so I'll not answer this particular one & allow others to weigh in.

I get the sense that a lot of chest bumping and high fives occurs where I'm not looking.

Actually we all get in a circle with erections and slap dicks together...

b) Why do so many guys that sent me messages have little to no history of participating in this place?

Because 90% are lurkers rather than active posters. Screening on your part is important.

How do I learn anything about you if you signed up here 3 years ago but never write anything? I guess asking that here is useless though right? since you don't really write here.

I think you self answered that one.

c) I get the impression that many of you simply send the same message to any and every girl as most seemed to totally ignore my comments regarding being new and trying to make a decision. Offers of $120 for a half hour and a variety of different acts expected? Did I really give off that vibe?

In a repressed marketplace, the buyer tends to negotiate. Seller can ask whatever they want for the product, buyer can choose to pay, walk away, or negotiate. Sounds like some wanted to negotiate. Would you be more offended if no one replied at all or a few at least noticed?

d) What drives you guys to want to see so many different girls?

Our motivations are different...you are wanting to make a (relatively) easy buck You say so in your last statement. Guys like variety. And with not meaning to be smart assed at all, Why? Because we can. I think many on here have SO's so not interested in a multi hour or overnight situation.

How can you find the one you are with to be so incredibly amazing and then forget all about her tomorrow and move on to the next one?

Who says that is the case??? I don't think guys "forget" a good experience... Usually over time the quality of the meetings worsen. Some guys want to avoid that downhill path entirely & like the excitement of "the first kiss". Some like to bed notch. As long as they are investing back into the hobby whos to say its a bad thing? I've had more than one ATF, but over time they became lazy, or bored, or took me & my cash for granted...so I moved on, or we mutually agreed it wasn't what it once was.

I think that would bother me more than a lot of other things.

Why would it bother you? Would you be seeing guys for free or do you expect a fee? Would it bother you that they wanted to be with someone else more than losing the guaranteed income?



I have only been a SugarBaby. The potential to earn in a couple of weeks what would carry me through 6 months is very tempting

Then you should understand guys desire to see more or as many girls as they can...its tempting when so many skilled & beautiful young ladies come along so often just as its tempting to make in 2 weeks what it costs you to live for 1/2 a year. You are in it bottom line for the cash...guys are in it for the opportunity to be with a (or several) lovely women.

There is certainly a market for SB's. You might actually find your sugar daddy here...but as a matter of normal, this is more of a robust market with constantly changing assets. Might I suggest checking out the national Sugar Baby forum? I think that might be more suited to what your expectations are & what you are used to. Best wishes in Grad school & in your expansion of your interests in this hobby! Originally Posted by Kendra Huntress

I've responded in resplendent red above.

Best wishes!

Hello Gentlemen and Ladies,

I recently placed a message in the Welcome section that has resulted in a lot of responses that instead of enlightening me has simply generated many more questions. I have read a lot over the last week that really makes it all as clear as mud.

My initial goal was to find 1 or 2 guys that would want to spend time with me that would account for 6 visits a month at $400 a visit. For that I was considering spending all day or night with someone.

I have learned that is not what you guys are looking for though.

So here are some simple questions

a) Why is it that guys that post in the message list, for the most part, do not follow up with some personal message to display interest?
If somebody posts in your Welcome Wagon thread it does not mean that they are planning on seeing you.
If they are interested in finding out more about you they will send you an email, a pm or call/text (if a phone number is provided).
Is the fact you post in the message stream meant to be some sort of courtship ritual?
They may just be saying Hello or welcome, being polite, no ritual involved imho.
Are you messaging to gain my attention or for the benefit of each other?
Mostly just to say hello, welcome to the site, there is no real benefit to each other to post in a welcome wagon thread.
I get the sense that a lot of chest bumping and high fives occurs where I'm not looking.
No, I think you are off in your assumptions here, no chest bumping, no high 5's.

b) Why do so many guys that sent me messages have little to no history of participating in this place? How do I learn anything about you if you signed up here 3 years ago but never write anything? I guess asking that here is useless though right? since you don't really write here.
These guys are called lurkers, they join, read a lot of the threads but almost never post or share any information. This behavior makes learning about them and screening them difficult. You may be better off disregarding them.

c) I get the impression that many of you simply send the same message to any and every girl as most seemed to totally ignore my comments regarding being new and trying to make a decision. Offers of $120 for a half hour and a variety of different acts expected?
The types of messages sent to new, just starting out, providers are going to be fairly similar in nature.
Potential clients are going to want to know about Rates (price, cost) and what they can expect in return (what experiences, services will be provided).
This should not be unexpected when you post in the welcome wagon and say, I am thinking of (planning on) becoming a provider.

Did I really give off that vibe?
You are not necessarily giving off that vibe but these are typical questions for new girls on the site.

d) What drives you guys to want to see so many different girls?
Men like variety and part of the appeal that this hobby provides is variety.
How can you find the one you are with to be so incredibly amazing and then forget all about her tomorrow and move on to the next one? I think that would bother me more than a lot of other things.
You may be confusing the hobby with dating. Clients are not necessarily looking for one amazing woman, Though if they find one that they really like they may see them over and over again, some guys only go to the same provider. But more typically they will see multiple providers, some guys only see a provider once and move on regardless of how good (or bad) of a time they had.
For example, my favorite provider I have seen dozens to times of several years, but I still see other providers and it is for sure that she sees other clients.

I have only been a SugarBaby. The potential to earn in a couple of weeks what would carry me through 6 months is very tempting. Originally Posted by Kendra Huntress

Perhaps you are still looking for a sugarbaby relationship.
On this site the type of relationship between client and provider works like this, you are meeting the man's physical needs, he is helping you meet your financial needs.

Best of luck to you, have fun and be safe.

The good news is, you can find exactly those sorts of arrangements. Exactly how you want them.

The bad news is that those sorts of ties break pretty damn easy.

The worst news is that you have to be a "regular" provider for quite awhile to prove your skills, sanity, and to meet lots of boys before you stumble upon ones who are looking to set-up an arrangement. At least in these parts. At least that's my professional opinion.

Personally, I love the variety. I'm sure there are other places where you'll have a better chance of finding true sugar daddy arrangements, I just don't know them. I like anonymous sex more than being taken care of so I stopped looking once I found hobby-life.

Okay, you are looking for a commitment of $2400 a month (6 visits at $400 a visit). If I was in the P4P market here would be my problems:

1. $2400 a month is a lot of money.
2. $400 a visit is a lot of money, Are you familiar with the term GPS?
3. You have not posted many pictures of yourself.
3. You have not provided any specifications of services offered for $400 an hour.
4. You are not the typical provider. As you state you are looking for a couple of "sugar daddies". No "wham-bam-thank you maam" sessions for you.
5. You are looking for "older" men who might want a beautiful woman to be seen with and will not be so demanding in the bedroom.

Without seeing a photograph showing you in total, I assume you are a beautiful woman. Very well-spoken in your posts. I wish you nothing but the best of luck in your pursuits. I may certainly be mistaken in what you are looking for in the Austin market, but if I am correct, you are looking for an individual or two who might not exist. Originally Posted by SpeedRacerXXX

Yes. I know it is a lot of money.

$400 a visit that would be 8 to 12 hours in length of what I have determined from reading would probably be considered GFE at a minimum and a little more if I was comfortable about trying greek with a guy in comparison to $120 to $160 for a half hour? I see other ladies charging $1200 to $2000 or more for less time

Some gentlemen seemed to read what I wrote and understand what was meant by it. I apologize for not being comfortable with the terminology used here.

I don't believe I ever stated I was looking for a couple of "Sugar Daddy's" I stated my prior experience and that I did not believe my schedule would allow for me to meet the requirements a Sugar Daddy might have. I am finding out that there are a few that may be interested.

I do not understand where someone would take anything I wrote to mean that I believed an older an would not be demanding. The Gentlemen I was with the other night was close to 60 and he proved quite active, just as my last friend did.

My preference for older men lies in the presumption that I would spend more time with one and be less likely to see attachments formed. It's simply a boundary for me.

I think as unfamilair as I am here with what you gentlemen expect, most here have made up their minds before approaching a lady as to exactly what I am supposed to be and ignored any and everything I had to say.

How could I be comfortable alone and intimate with anyone that took such an approach?

The good news is, you can find exactly those sorts of arrangements. Exactly how you want them.

The bad news is that those sorts of ties break pretty damn easy.

The worst news is that you have to be a "regular" provider for quite awhile to prove your skills, sanity, and to meet lots of boys before you stumble upon ones who are looking to set-up an arrangement. At least in these parts. At least that's my professional opinion.

Personally, I love the variety. I'm sure there are other places where you'll have a better chance of finding true sugar daddy arrangements, I just don't know them. I like anonymous sex more than being taken care of so I stopped looking once I found hobby-life. Originally Posted by JennsLolli

Thank-you for replying. I think my main problem lies in the presumption that the purpose of the website was to bring together both sides no matter what their needs or desires.

Men seem to have no issue with stating their needs no matter how extreme they may be whether they are financial or physical in nature. Yet a lady is chastised for stating an interest in something else?

Thank-you to all the gentlemen that replied.

The comment regarding girls that are incredbly amazing stems from reading reviews written by some of some that write a lot an dthe comments that follow. It certainly seems that some girls are "all that and a bag of chips" until tomorrow. I just learned that phrase the other day and like it!

I seem to have overlooked the obvious reason why people would say hello. I did however query one gentlemen who said it was how he announces his interest and intent yet he had not sent me a message. That I did not understand.

Men!

You can be so difficult to get a read on at times.

In regards to getting references, that would only tell me what his time with her was like for the period of time he saw her. In looking for someone that would treat the time together more like a "date" it would tell me little. For that I need to get to know someone a little beyond what a reference would provide I think. That is why I offered to meet up front.

I did receive messages from a few guys that "got me" and one has proven to be exactly what I am used to. He also has suggested a different website for what I thought I might find here and told me that posting her would not be fruitful. When I pointed out that it brought him and I together for 3 wonderful evenings so far he shrugged and grinned.

I can be a bit stubborn!

Many men here can get pretty bossy. Also, many men around here are especially bossy with new girls. They say new girls aren't "jaded" yet, but I've always read that as "less difficult to manipulate." I can easily think of ten instances when I was super manipulated in my first six months of providing. I'm sure I'm forgetting most of them. I'm a gullible gal, though.

If you decide to go the provider route, you'll eventually find what you want. You're attractive and smart, so long as your customer service is top notch and your skills are great, you'll be able to raise your rates steadily until you hit the volume that you seek. Sure, you'll get bitched at if you charge $300+/hr or require 2+ hour minimums, but that's just because someone wants to meet you and can't afford it. =) Hell, do some browsing and find the local girls who do such things (Hunter Grace comes to mind). Ask nicely to take them out to lunch and pick their brains. You might get a lot of no's from the girls, you might not. Can't hurt to try?

Speaking both from personal experience and from the experiences of some of my provider friends, most of my favorite clients and beloved regulars aren't active on these boards. That's not to say if someone is active here they are automatically not a good client, it's just a very vocal minority is all.

Also also, I probably get 3 "you're hot" or "hey" emails for every legit booking emails. I ignore ones hat aren't legit booking emails. Keeps me sane.

I've responded in resplendent red above.

Best wishes! Originally Posted by Toyz

I believe that Red is the color of sexual desire for men seeking women. By posting in red don't you send a subliminal message to other men to see you as attractive and desireable?

*giggle

Sorry. I could not resist. It was a topic of discussion in a Human Sexuality class that resulted most o fthe females wearing red to class to stimulate the professor to grade them more leniantly.

I wore black and got an A!

I have to ask why you believe it to be a repressed marketplace?

Also also, I probably get 3 "you're hot" or "hey" emails for every legit booking emails. I ignore ones hat aren't legit booking emails. Keeps me sane. Originally Posted by JennsLolli

I decided to not read anything that did not span a couple of paragraphs and deleted all the short ones!

Short is OK in anatomy but not in discussion trying to get to know someone!

Thank-you again and I will definitely take some of your advice.

Another question. Is there a chat feature where I can go back and forth one on one with someone here?

Private Messaging is your best bet.

Once upon a time I'd have a messenger available to feel out guys or to chat-up regulars. Biggest waste of time ever.