Golf Quotes

David Feherty, from Northern Ireland with an Irish sense of humor, is a Golf Channel announcer who finds very unique, colorful and uninhibited ways of explaining or describing whatever is on his mind...... Probably always on a time delay these days.

Feherty Quotes:

“Fortunately, he (Rory) is 22 years old so his right wrist should be the strongest muscle in his body."
“That ball is so far left, Lassie couldn’t find it if it was wrapped in bacon."
“I am sorry Nick Faldo couldn’t be here this week. He is attending the birth of his next wife."
“They don’t do comedy at the Masters. The Masters, for me, is like holding onto a really big collection of gas for a week. It’s like having my buttocks surgically clenched at Augusta General Hospital on Wednesday, and surgically unclenched on Monday on the way to Hilton Head."
Jim Furyk’s swing -“It looks like an octopus falling out of a tree."
“He’s (Luke Donald) a bloody walking ATM. I slid my AmEx between the cheeks of his ass and out popped $500."
Describing VJ's prodigious practice regime -"VJ hits more balls than Elton John's chin."
"That's a great shot with that swing."
"It's OK - the bunker stopped it."
At Augusta 2011 - "It's just a glorious day. The only way to ruin a day like this would be to play golf on it."
"That was a great shot - if they'd put the pin there today."
"Everything moves except his bowels."
"Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff."
"That green appears smaller than a Pygmie's nipple".
Forward this to any golfers with a sense of humor...

Those are great!

Feherty has replaced McCord as golf's quipster!

Feherty's mind (and wit) is razor sharp.

McCord is banned from announcing The Masters for famously saying on-air that the "greens are slicker than a Brazilian bikini wax". The poohbah's of Augusta thought it was an undignified remark and told him to never come back.

And many think golf isn't edgy!

Top 10 Caddy comments

10, Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake"
Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"

9, Golfer: "Id move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven you have already moved most of the earth."

8, Golfer: "do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes Sir you miss the ball much closer now."

7, Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?
Caddy: "Eventually."

6, Golfer: "You have to be the worst Caddy in the world."
Caddy: "I don't think so sir that would be to much of a coincidence."

5, Golfer: "please stop checking your watch all of the time. its too much of a distraction."
Caddy: "its not a watch its a compass."

4, Golfer: "How do you like my game?"
Caddy: "Very good sir but personally I prefer golf."

3, Golfer: "Do you think its a sin to play on Sunday?"
Caddy: "The way you play its a sin on any day."

2, Golfer: "This is the worst course I've every played on."
Caddy: "this isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."

1, Golfer: "That can't be my ball its to old."
Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off sir."