An encounter so bad you created an ECCIE account just to talk about it

Well I am truly flattered Asianhobbyist…not only did you create an entire account on this site because of me, you also did your review with such gusto that you skipped right over that inadequate word NO and chose the HELL NO! so the readers could truly understand the level of torture you endured at the hands of Alexa Allure…..

And on that note, I have been eager to respond to your review and your other comments on the thread (it was hilarious by the way…..you’re a fantastic wordsmith of literary fiction! So talented….)
Unfortunately this is the first time I’ve been available to respond. For some reason beyond all comprehension, there is a plethora of men requesting repeat sessions of my horrible, shitty demeanor and my worst-provider-ever job skills. I know, it IS hard to believe, since your review made it so blatantly clear that your pet donkey would have been a wiser choice than seeing me. But I digress….

It would take an amount of time I neither have nor desire to waste on you to dissect the clusterfuck of idiosyncrasies, resemblant to a pinball machine in your brain, which resulted in such a delusional view of our encounter. So I will simply leave you with a word of advice for any future encounters with your victims, I mean, with the providers (oh and just to be clear, I could give you one tip per day for a solid year to address every part of you that is socially unacceptable and repulsive - this is just one of the many) - -
DO NOT yank the condom off abruptly in an attempt to share your man-juices with the exact location of her body that the condom is keeping that shit AWAY from. I would expect a more advanced level of awareness and commitment to personal hygiene from a person who claims their hobby number to be 400+.

Yeah, I put up with you for 6 hours instead of 12, and it was 6 hours too long. Did I mention that it's normal adult behavior to speak when arranging and ending a session? It sure made things interesting when you randomly went into the other room and got dressed in complete silence, and then let the sound of the front door closing tell me that you were leaving. But, on the upside, after all this time I can FINALLY say I know what it’s like to have a horrible client. So thank you for that…I was beginning to think that there was no such thing. Now I know - you do exist.

So here's what happens next....you, predictably, will conjure your retort to bolster your low self-esteem, rally with your supporters who have never seen me but will jump on any bandwagon so why not this one, and you'll post as many ridiculous things as possible. Whatever you need to work through online to get you through this mental and physical meltdown in your life - you go right on ahead. I'll even pretend to be upset if it helps you feel better about yourself. So good luck with that.

Cheers,
Alexa
Nice write up.

I don't know either of you guys...but So far, you're winning. This write up is great work.

....., you also did your review with such gusto that you skipped right over that inadequate word NO and chose the HELL NO! so the readers could truly understand the level of torture you endured at the hands of Alexa Allure….. Originally Posted by Alexa_Allure
Note: anything other then yes or no requires an intentional manual edit.

Yes - I'm traveling and need some entertainment.

Edit: He Said
And on that note, I have been eager to respond to your review and your other comments on the thread (it was hilarious by the way…..you’re a fantastic wordsmith of literary fiction! So talented….) Originally Posted by Alexa_Allure

Thanks for your response. Sounds like there was just no chemistry. It happens.
Ur_1_only's Avatar
Well stated response Alexa and your over riding positive reviews far out weigh the negative one. Keep doing what you do and the clients will continue to leave with huge smiles on their faces...!!! IMHO
Nice write up.

I don't know either of you guys...but So far, you're winning. This write up is great work. Originally Posted by GlobeSpotter
Hey bro your avi has me wanting to lay my face on my PC screen. It's so natural and inviting.
Dorian Gray's Avatar
And on that note, I have been eager to respond to your review and your other comments on the thread (it was hilarious by the way…..you’re a fantastic wordsmith of literary fiction! So talented….) Originally Posted by Alexa_Allure
Just to clarify, are you calling his review, comments, or both 'fantastic wordsmith-ing of literary fiction' ?
Oh yeah....you can improve your case by posting some nice titty or taint pics. You probably won't need to....but let's just get it over with.

Edit: ....This showcase pic won't cut it.

Out_of_Bounds's Avatar
There's two sides to every story.
That being said I think you need to give me a free overnight just to corroborate one way or the other.
tbone77494's Avatar
"clusterfuck of idiosyncrasies" made me horny. I'm not even gonna read that review and you moved up my list Alexa.
DesertRunner's Avatar
Damn Alexa! That was written as if it were from a skilled attorney or my college Honors Comp. II professor that i always fantasized about.

I'm not going to waste time reading his review (but it would've been nice of you to include a link); however, I'm now entertaining the idea of convincing you to mind-fuck me for a few hours. I'm not even REALLY sure what that is, but your writing ability has me convinced that you would excel. And no, I'm not trying to be a smart-ass, I'm serious!!

DA ��
Wakeup's Avatar
:facepalm:

He said/she said where no one will ever know the truth turns into an opportunity for morons to suck up to a provider...
:facepalm:

He said/she said where no one will ever know the truth turns into an opportunity for morons to suck up to a provider... Originally Posted by Wakeuр
^ I'll have to exclude myself from that fire you're spitting but I'm glad she responded. Their personal views of each other aside it seems she corroborated much of what AH said took place.

He doesn't think she's all that attractive and she thinks he's a social misfit. While I appreciate AH's viewpoint at the end of the day she does have the pussy and for most people that factors greatly in post review opinions and behavior. ;-)
boardman's Avatar
Wow,
It's a good thing you can't read the whole review
Wow,
It's a good thing you can't read the whole review Originally Posted by boardman
Yep. When he got up and left without saying a word he was on a mission. lol
tbone77494's Avatar
It isn't what wakeup posts, rather that you get him to post something.