How bad is the economy???

Sweet N Little's Avatar
The Recession hits everybody in the US ........

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
DallasRain's Avatar
GP's Avatar
  • GP
  • 02-17-2011, 02:22 PM
Sounds like some Steven Wright humor. Nice
offshoredrilling's Avatar
"When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room."

it would be time to give up when they start sharing interns!
I saw Steven Wright a few months back at Buff State. I love that humor. Did you see him GP?

Thanks Sweet N Little for the funnies.
GP's Avatar
  • GP
  • 02-18-2011, 03:08 PM
No, but I would love to. He is freaking hilarious.

I installed a skylight in my apartment. The people who live above me are furious!
offshoredrilling's Avatar
No, but I would love to. He is freaking hilarious.
Quote:
I installed a skylight in my apartment. The people who live above me are furious! Originally Posted by GP
Some how I would not be furious if a provider did that to me.
Sweet N Little's Avatar
I saw Steven Wright a few months back at Buff State. I love that humor. Did you see him GP?

Thanks Sweet N Little for the funnies. Originally Posted by montana1958
Your most welcome, when i get some good ones i will deliver them up north for you guys
SNL