St. Patrick's Day Limericks

Happy St Patty's Day everyone. How about a little limerick competition?

Here it goes:

There was a man called Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave
He said "I admit
I am a bit of a shit
But think of the money I save".

Poor Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave
Should of had a Slave
Think of the money that would save.

Twain is an asshole
Born in EL Paso
Makes $5 a day
He visits Miss Lucy to tickle her pussy
And she takes his $5 away

Twain is a Fool
Miss Lucy is Cool
She gives me her pussy
That is the Rule

Here are the bones of Screwey Prick,
At birth he was blessed with a cork screw dick,
All his life he spent in the futile hunt for the girl with a cork screw cunt.
When he found her he soon fell dead,
Damn thing had a left hand thread.