A Polite Way to Call Someone a Bastard

A man was about to tee off on the first hole. A second golfer approached and asked if he could join him. The first man said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome.

They were even for the first few holes. The second man said, "Clearly, we're about evenly matched, so how about playing for five bucks a hole?" The first man said that he wasn't much for betting, but agreed to the terms.

The second golfer won the remaining sixteen holes with ease. As they walked off after #18, the second man happily counted his $80 winnings. Then he confessed that he was a pro at a neighboring course and that he liked to pick on suckers. The first golfer revealed that he was the parish priest.

The pro was flustered and apologetic; he offered to return the money. The priest said, "You won fair and square: I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings."

The pro asked, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

The priest replied, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation. And if you bring your mother and father along, I'll marry them."

Lmao smh made me laugh