Amateur hour on Harry Hines

Spoiler: the amateur in question is me.

I visited Dallas a few years ago, back when Blue One and Pink One and Pearls were the much-discussed places. I was back again for a couple nights a few weeks ago to get my first shot and take in some local attractions. My flight was late and rental cars weren't available, so it was after 8pm before my Uber dropped me at my hotel. No problem, according to Google maps, Luxury and Sun were both open late!

I relaxed a bit, went out for a leisurely dinner in Deep Ellum, and then decided to make my way to Luxury. I took another Uber out there. Mistake #1, of course, was not calling ahead to confirm that they would still be open after 11pm. You would think that a year into the pandemic I wouldn't assume that Google maps had accurate information about opening and closing hours. But assume I did.

Mistake #2 was letting the Uber leave without confirming that Luxury was open -- the driver missed the turn from Harry Hines and took me around to the back and I said, like an idiot, "this is fine right here" and walked the rest of the way. I hope the security camera caught the dumbfounded expression on my face when I arrived to a dark and locked spa.

I decided to walk down to Sun -- not the shortest walk but not too bad and I wanted to stretch my legs, even on late night sketchy Harry Hines. A few minutes later I got to Sun and confirmed that it was also closed.

And, just to show that I hadn't yet internalized my folly, I walked from Sun to New York, New York, which was supposed to be open according to Google maps, which I was for some lack of reason still believing. Of course you all know that New York, New York wasn't open and doesn't even exist anymore. I didn't find that out until I walked there -- I took a route even sketchier than Harry Hines, and for a little while was on a street aptly named Shady Lane. I think I passed a streetwalker on foot, but I didn't want to make any eye contact.

So, at this point it was probably closing in on midnight and I was resigned to the fact that I wasn't going to find an open spa. I walked almost all the way to a nearby strip club and considered going in to grab a beer and enjoy the view, but -- for the very first time during this adventure -- decided that the odds of me really only getting a single beer and not staying longer and spending too much were not great. I walked into a local bar instead to grab that one beer while I waited for an Uber to take me back to my hotel as a fully defeated man.

The next day went better. I got my shot, made it back out to Luxury during open hours, and had a great session with Pepsi, who has been reviewed on this board before. To be honest, after my failures the night before, I probably could have had a great session with a bottle of Pepsi too if it was able to give me a table shower.

But the human Pepsi was much better. YMMV, as always, but I enjoyed her company greatly and I think she enjoyed mine as well. No latex came between us. I was in a fully relaxed mood after I walked out into the cool air and it was still early enough to make it to Nick and Sams for a late night post-vaccine/post-Luxury steak dinner.

Amateur hour on night one was painful, but a better day is always on the horizon.
mrsack's Avatar
What a night!! Shit happens. Fun to read.
howdy_booty's Avatar
If the local bar you went to was Wild Turkey, judging by your surroundings, you were right around the corner from Pearls. Don't know if they're open that late, but you could have completed the circuit of the last three Dallas amps
It was indeed Wild Turkey -- that's some good Walnut Hill Lane knowledge. Pearls was the one I went to on my last visit to Dallas a few years ago.

I'm curious why you call those the last three Dallas AMPs when there are clearly lots of other full service parlors around, based on the past few pages of reports I've been skimming.

Are you referring to the places that have the table shower in the room and the flat all-in rates as AMPs and all the other places, FS or now, are considered subAMPs?