MOTHERING MYSELF
In a society preoccupied with how best to raise a child.
I'm finding a need to mesh what's best for my children with what's necessary for a well balanced mother.
I'm recognizing that ceaseless giving translates into giving yourself away.
And, when you give yourself away, you're not a healthy mother and you're not a healthy self.
So, now I'm learning to be a woman first and a mother second.
I'm learning to just experience my own emotions without robbing my children of their individual dignaty by feeling their emotions too.
I'm learning that a healthy child will have his own set of emotions and characteristics that are his alone.
And, very different from mine.
I'm learning the importance of honest exchanges of feelings because pretenses do not fool children.
They know their mother better than she knows herself.
I'm learning that words of wisdom fall on deaf ears if my actions contradict my deeds.
Children tend to be better impersonators than listeners.
I'm learning that life is meant to be filled with as much saddness and pain as happiness and pleasure.
And allowing ourselves to feel everything life has to offer is an indicator of fulfillment.
I am learning that fulfillment can't be attained through giving myself away
But, through giving to myself and sharing with others.
I've learned that the best way to teach my children to live a fulfilling life is not by sacrificing my life.
It's through living a fulfilling life myself.
I am trying to teach my children that I have a lot to learn . . .
Letting go is the best way to hold on.