Captain from Captain and Tennile - dead

Now, let me start by saying Toni Tennile is a total fox. Reputedly, Captain was an asexual control freak who made Toni miserable for decades. He dead now, but it doesn't stop me again from saying I would bone Toni Tennile until my cows came home, your cows, the fuker across the street's cows, and cows from the tri-state area. Toni Tennile is a fucking total fox and I don't care who knows it. Many people would wake up in the North Dallas area to a constant, rhytmic banging sound and say "Honey, is that a southern woodpecker?" and she'd say "no slapnuts, that's just good ol' ShahOfTexas banging Toni Tennile again"

I rest my case