I love msog! I usually try to ask when we first get started if the gent would like me to go slower and do more teasing, or if they like to go more than once. Or I try to ask at the end if they want another round. But sometimes I do forget to ask since I think it is pretty well known that I do offer it.
As far as the OP's YMMV comment, I wish I never had to be YMMV but with me personally, there is the rare event where someone has bad breathe and I cant kiss them the way I normally do, or if you decline a shower and you clearly just came from a hard labor job and were sweating all day etc and are smelly, certain things just aren't possible.
However YMMV should have a reason behind it for sure, and if both parties have good hygiene etc there should never be any mistreatment where YMMV would happen.
What would make the hobby better??? If everyone had a better standard with punctuality! If time is so important to us we need to do a better job of being on time always, and then gents will do the same.
Also if there wasn't so much societal judgement on the hobby that would be great! But its one of those things people can never understand if they have never been a provider or hobbyist