The Pickle Tickle

Well since congress must now show why their ideas are constitutional I suppose I can show why this is a reasonable hobby discussion.*

I present this thread as comic relief and drama break. *Oh and this isn't technically a threAD because I'm booked today.*

One of my very best friends died last week (ok be patient, It gets better.)*
Now this guy was the neatest person I knew in this particular ring of friends. He could say (and did frequently) "oh let's just set up in the back of my van for pictures. " he was the only guy I knew that could say that and it was really ok. He was kind and gentle and a total freak bcd, but he never let outsiders see his freak side (outsiders being anyone he had not already had a pickle tickle with.)*

Ok so I go to the memorial to honor his passing and do the normal things one does when seeing a friend off. I don't know why I didn't expect this one particular friend to show up but of course dumb ass me got caught off guard by a truly fine male of the species. 6'11" 240 lbs of pure tuskin cattle was glistening before me (seriously he glistened. I mean WTF this is a memorial. He should glow at best. )

We've known each other for just about 20 years.... About 10 min longer than I knew the man that died.*

Ok, now he looked at me a little longer than one would expect. I've been a provider long enough to catch the scent of a horny man focusing his horny on me.*

Now here we are at a MEMORIAL with crying people everywhere and all of his stuff and photos around the room and here I am flirting silently with my other old friend. I'd glance at him and he'd stare hard at me with his blood pressure starting to rise and I walk slowly through the pictures and pause for him to catch up. He finally caught up (I swear men are thick) outside the room and shuffled me into the next room. His name is john for story purposes)*

He lifted my skirt and bent me over a table and before I knew it he had actually suited up and started to fuck me. Right there. 30 ft away was the memorial for one of our mutual friends. I felt bad until he reminded me this was actually the perfect way to honor his freak side. I agreed and we kept at it.*

Ok. We finish and walk out like nothing happened. Went to separate ends of the room and started to mingle.*

That just wasn't enough. There had to be SOMETHiNG that would honor the freak side of my friend.
Think think think ..... Bingo.*

I snuck around to the back of the speaking set up they had and crawled into the hidden space below the mic and waited. It felt like forever and I almost lost my nerve once or twice. Finally in about 15 min the service started. John was the main speaker and I let him get all the super serious stuff out of the way (I'm not completely disrespectful) and slowly and gently raised my hands up and pulled his zipper down.*

Now keep in mind no one knows I'm there, not even john (till I touched his zipper.) if you didn't know him, you'd never know anything was happening. Problem was, everyone knew him. His voice cracked only for a second and he coughed to cover it. Then out came capt winkie. He held on valiantly.*

30 seconds into me fucking with him, he came and his whole body shook. Then I hear Randy say out of the blue," what's wrong john, you getting a blow job without sharing? Everyone just laughed it off. He sat down then Randy came up to speak. Wouldn't you know he looked under to see if anyone was there. He saw me. I waved a little and giggled. He stood up without saying a word about me being there. *As he began to speak he unzipped his pants and pulled out his dick and waved it at me. *It was so funny I laughed a little louder than I had planned and the whole room went silent. I thought I was busted.*

Randy quickly started talking about the next point and waved his dick at me again. I took it and started playing with it, but not the way he was expecting. *I poked it. Then I jiggled it a little. Then I pulled on it. It was so much fun torturing him I almost didn't stop. After messing w him for about half his speech, I gave him a premo BJ (I mean it was a work of art seriously. ) he finished, and never blinked an eye. I've neverseen someone that could just orgasm in public without batting an eyelash.) <- truly impressed.*

Ok I was stuck. I had nowhere to go without getting caught so I stayed there under the mic all comfy and hidden. Phew noone will know. Ahhh it's great to b bad.*

I was not scheduled to speak, nor had I taken the option to do so (thank goodness.) apparently it matters not. After everyone had been to speak john got back up there and said," now she isn't scheduled to speak but she always makes me laugh so journey could you come on up here and say a few words? I punched him in the leg and he kicked me back and passed down a note that just said ,"gotcha."


Mother Fer sold me out. So here I come from under the table trying to straighten my clothes and act like it was the most normal thing in the world for me to be crawling out from under the mic. You could hear whispering in the audience as I took the mic and started out with the poem "IF" and finished w "the dash.". I said a few things that would completely fit my personality and went out to sit in the chair I'd left vacant during my shananagins. *

So there's my story. In that position (and at a memorial for someone that is eccentric and therefor BJ during the service is actually a sign of great respect) would you do the same or let someone do it to you?

It's very possible I'm alone in this and will stand proudly alone on my contribution to the memorial. I'm good with that but boy I'd like to know what y'all would do.*



What I really like best is the fact noone knows just how many guys were blessed by me. I can't wait for the spring. This story will have made the rounds by then.*

I called this thread the pickle tickle because that's what started the whole story.*

LOL!!! that's an awesome story. That would be great if someone would do that for me at my funeral or something similar. But I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. So it's going to be a while. great story though.

I don't plan on going anywhere.... but if I can find a way to speak at the next memorial I know who to ask to go with me.

I can't think of a better way to help someone conquer their fear of public speaking.

You are a naughty freak!!

Can I buy you a drink pretty....giggling

Good story babe....I enjoyed reading it!

so, were you Journey, as in "so journey could you come on up here and say a few words?"??

or did you cunniligize her, too!!!


not sure i could have kept a straight face with support from below like that!!
and i damn sure i wouldnt have been doing that [tickling those guy's pickle]. now, cunniligizing women's candy box, perhaps.

more power to you!!!! you pickle tickler!!! [something else to add to your resume]

I hope you did not forget the lowly funeral director back in the music room? Been there and done that several times, best memory was watching poor widow reaching in casket and give her husband a few last strokes before we head off to the cemetery.

The memorial services you attend are a lot more interesting than any of the ones I have ever been to. I'm going to start paying more attention to the funerals and memorial services I attend.