Joke thread

A woman was watching the TV and shouted, “Don’t go into that church you dumb bitch.”
Her husband asked, “What are you watching?”
She replied, “Our wedding video!”

Whats the difference between a hooker with one black eye and another hooker with two black eyes?

The hooker with two black eyes is a slow learner.

Whats the difference between a hooker with one black eye and another hooker with two black eyes?

The hooker with two black eyes is a slow learner. Originally Posted by winn dixie

The difference between a politician and a hooker is the hooker will stop screwing you when the money runs out.

Ohh I needed this thread ;D

Lady went to see dentist in town she had recently moved to. In waiting room she noticed his dental license on the wall with his full name on it & realized she had attended public school with an handsome young man by the same name 40 years before who she had always been interested in..
Upon entering the exam room & meeting the dentist he appeared old,gray & rather hard looking. She thought no can't be him.
After he completed the dental exam & cleaning she asked if he had attended Morgan High School & he replied "yes I did I am a proud Mustang".
She then asked "when did you graduate?"
He replied "59, why do you ask?"
She replied " I think you may have been in my class"
He said "oh really what did you teach?"

Teacher told Little Johnny an abstract noun was something he could think of but not touch, she then asked him to give her two examples.
Little Johnny replied "your tits"

Me: How did the hacker get away?
Cop: I don't know, he ransomware

They made the wife for a raise. The wife said why do you think you deserve a raise? The maid said three reasons. Number one I clean better than you. The wife asked who told you that. She said your husband. The wife was rather irritated with that and said what’s the second reason. The maid said I cook better than you. The wife asked who told you that. She said your husband did which aggravated her even more. Finally for the third reason I made sad and I also have sex better than you. The wife said I suppose my husband told you that as well. I said that no the gardener did. The wife then responded OK how much more do you want.

Two women were on a road trip. One returned from the restroom at the roadside rest with a black eye. Her friend said how did you get that. She replied do you know what a glory hole is? Her friend said yes. The injured woman said well I did not, so I made the mistake of looking in the hole.

Is there ever loud laughter in Hawaii?
Or, is it always A Low Ha?

Summer’s tits are so enormous and perfectly round flat earthers start questioning their ideology.

A college girl was on the sofa riding cowgirl on her boyfriend when her parents came home early.
The mother exclaimed: "Why, I never . . ."
Girl: "Oh Mother, you must have"

I was downtown this afternoon.
I saw two blondes walk into a building.
I thought surely one of them would have seen it.